Father's Day Edition: The Impact of Fatherlessness & Becoming the Father You Wish You Had

Episode Description

Fatherlessness may be one of the greatest crises facing our world today.

While culture often focuses on politics, economics, or technology, the reality is that when a father disappears, something foundational breaks. Identity is questioned. Wounds are formed. Generational cycles are created.

In this special Father's Day edition of The Integrated Man Podcast, Cory Bolduc explores the devastating impact of fatherlessness, the biblical model of fatherhood, and the opportunity every man has to break generational cycles and become the father he never had.

Drawing from Scripture, personal reflection, and decades of observation, Cory discusses how father wounds shape identity, why so many men struggle with insecurity and performance, and what biblical fatherhood actually looks like in today's world.

Whether you had an amazing father, an absent father, an abusive father, or no father at all, this conversation will challenge you to heal, grow, and lead from a place of wholeness.

The father wound may explain your story, but it does not have to define your future.

Recommended Books

Wild at Heart

A foundational book on masculine identity, healing father wounds, purpose, and becoming the man God created you to be.

Fathered by God

Explores masculine initiation and the stages of a man's development through God's fathering.

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover

Understanding masculine maturity and healthy masculine archetypes.

Raising a Modern-Day Knight

Practical guidance for fathers who want to intentionally raise sons into manhood.

Recommended People To Follow

John Eldredge

Founder of Wild at Heart Ministries.

🌐 Wild at Heart Ministries

Robert Lewis

Creator of Men's Fraternity and author of Raising a Modern-Day Knight.

Robert Moore

Leading voice on masculine development and archetypes.

Resources

Focus on the Family

Resources for fathers, marriage, and family discipleship.

🌐 Focus on the Family

National Fatherhood Initiative

Resources and research on fatherhood and family impact.

🌐 National Fatherhood Initiative

Wild at Heart Ministries

Men's events, books, podcasts, and masculine discipleship resources.

🌐 Wild at Heart Ministries

Connect With Integrated Masculinity

Men's Counseling
Foundations Groups
Monthly Men's Fires
Retreats & Adventures
Pastoral Coaching

🌐 Integrated Masculinity

Become the man with nothing to prove, nothing to hide, and nothing to lose.

In this powerful episode of The Integrated Man Podcast, Cory Bolduc sits down with counselor, speaker, entrepreneur, and suicide prevention advocate Kevin Polky to discuss masculinity, identity, purpose, initiation, mental health, and the growing crisis of hopelessness among men.

Drawing from decades of counseling experience, Kevin shares his personal journey from competitive bodybuilding and achievement-driven identity to discovering deeper purpose through service, mentorship, faith, and helping others. He unpacks how many men unknowingly build their identity around performance, success, work, or status—and what happens when those things are taken away.

This conversation is ultimately about hope.

Because no matter how dark life feels, there is a path forward.

You are not alone.

Books Mentioned

Iron John

A foundational work in the modern men's movement exploring masculine initiation, purpose, and maturity.

Fire in the Belly

Explores passion, purpose, masculinity, and what drives a meaningful life.

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover

One of the most influential books on masculine archetypes and mature manhood.

Wild at Heart

A Christian perspective on masculine identity, adventure, purpose, and spiritual formation.

People & Thinkers Mentioned

Robert Bly

Leader of the Mythopoetic Men's Movement and author of Iron John.

Sam Keen

Author of Fire in the Belly and influential voice on masculine purpose.

Joseph Campbell

Known for the Hero's Journey framework and understanding human development.

Carl Jung

Founder of analytical psychology and archetype theory.

Robert Moore

Co-author of King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.

St. John of the Cross

Referenced for the concept of the "Dark Night of the Soul."

Resources Mentioned

Four Corners Wellness Center

Counseling, coaching, consulting, workshops, and wellness services.

Four Corners Wellness Center

Shatter Our Silence

Suicide prevention, education, awareness, and community outreach.

Shed Our Silence

Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

📞 Call or Text 988

Available 24/7 for anyone experiencing emotional distress, suicidal thoughts, or mental health crises.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

What happens when a boy grows up without a father, spends time in prison, and spends decades trying to figure out what it really means to be a man?

In this raw and honest episode of The Integrated Man Podcast, Cory sits down with longtime friend Chad Mashinter to talk about fatherlessness, mentorship, prison, purpose, masculinity, mistakes, redemption, and the battles men face every day.

After losing his father at just three years old, Chad spent much of his young life searching for direction in all the wrong places. Looking for acceptance, identity, and belonging, he found himself caught up in gangs, crime, and eventually prison before the age of eighteen.

But this isn't just a story about failure.

It's a conversation about growth, responsibility, grace, and what it means to keep becoming the man God created you to be—even when your story includes mistakes, regrets, and painful lessons.

Together they discuss:

• Growing up without a father
• How boys learn what manhood is
• The impact of mentorship on young men
• Why so many men are fighting the wrong battles
• Prison, gangs, and searching for identity
• Learning from mistakes instead of being defined by them
• The importance of fathers being present
• Why community matters for men
• Spiritual warfare and the battle beneath the battle
• How men can redirect their strength toward purpose

This episode is for every man who has ever felt lost, made mistakes, or wondered if his past disqualifies him from becoming the man he was meant to be.

You are not your worst decision.

Key Timestamps

00:00 Introduction and Chad's story
03:00 Losing his father at age three
06:00 Who taught Chad what a man was?
11:00 What fathers need to give their children today
15:00 The emotion behind fatherhood and regret
20:00 Learning to give yourself grace
25:00 Prison at eighteen years old
29:00 Looking for identity in gangs and the streets
32:00 What prison exposed—and what it hardened
35:00 What Chad would tell his 17-year-old self
37:00 Why young men need mentors
40:00 Choosing the right battles as a man
46:00 The role of community and brotherhood
51:00 Spiritual warfare and masculine purpose
56:00 Why the real battle matters most
1:00:00 Books, influences, and final thoughts

Books Mentioned

• Wild at Heart
  A foundational book on masculine identity, adventure, purpose, and spiritual growth.
• The Alchemist
  A powerful story about purpose, calling, adventure, and discovering what truly matters.

People Mentioned / Recommended to Follow

• John Eldredge
  Founder of Wild at Heart Ministries and one of the leading voices on Christian masculinity.

Connect With Integrated Masculinity

Men's Counseling
Foundations Groups
Men's Fires
Retreats & Adventures
Boundary Waters Expeditions
Pastoral Coaching

Integrated Masculinity

In this episode of The Integrated Man Podcast, Cory sits down with licensed clinical mental health counselor and former pastor Max Eckerson to explore some of the deepest issues affecting men today: shame, guilt, identity, narcissistic abuse, spiritual trauma, and emotional healing.

Drawing from years of ministry experience and clinical counseling, Max explains why so many men struggle to ask for help, how childhood wounds shape adult behavior, and why unresolved trauma often shows up as anger, anxiety, depression, and disconnection.

Together they discuss:

• Why men often avoid counseling and emotional healing
• The difference between shame and guilt
• How identity becomes tied to unhealthy behaviors
• What narcissistic abuse actually is—and what it isn't
• The difference between overt and covert narcissism
• How spiritual abuse impacts faith and relationships
• Why healthy boundaries are essential
• The role of empathy in healing
• How men can begin reclaiming their God-given identity
• Practical first steps toward emotional and spiritual freedom

If you've ever struggled with self-worth, church hurt, toxic relationships, or feeling disconnected from who God created you to be, this conversation offers both insight and hope.

The path to wholeness starts with telling the truth about your story.

Key Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to The Integrated Man Podcast
01:00 Meet Max Eckerson: Counselor, pastor's kid, and therapist
05:20 What is most broken in men today?
07:00 Shame, guilt, and emotional wounds in men
09:30 The difference between shame and guilt
10:50 Identity, behavior, and the cycle of emotional pain
14:00 Why identity matters more than roles
16:00 Understanding narcissistic abuse
20:00 Overt vs. covert narcissism explained
27:00 Are narcissists born or made?
31:00 Can narcissists be helped?
37:00 Spiritual abuse and church hurt
43:00 Healthy church culture vs. unhealthy church culture
48:00 The path toward healing and recovery
52:00 Resources for narcissistic abuse recovery
53:00 Books and influences that shaped Max
56:00 Final thoughts and encouragement for men

Books Mentioned

• Wild at Heart
  A foundational book on masculine identity, adventure, and spiritual growth.
• To Be Told
  Understanding your story and allowing God to rewrite your narrative.
• Redeeming Heartache
  Finding healing and redemption through life's painful experiences.
• Finding Your True North
  A recovery workbook for adult children of narcissistic parents.

People Mentioned / Recommended to Follow

• John Eldredge
  Author of Wild at Heart and a major influence on masculine spirituality.
• Dan Allender
  Expert in trauma, healing, story work, and emotional restoration.
• Rebecca Johnson
  Specialist in narcissistic abuse recovery and emotional healing.
• Craig Groeschel
  Leadership, growth, and personal development resources.

Connect With Max

Restore Hope Counseling

For counseling resources, trauma recovery, narcissistic abuse support, and spiritual healing resources:
Telehealth and in-person counseling available.

In this powerful episode of The Integrated Man Podcast, Cory sits down with pastor, artist, author, and founder of the Rockford Empowerment Center, Cameron Henderson, for a raw conversation on masculinity, purpose, spiritual battle, identity, failure, comfort, and what it really means to become whole.

Together they unpack why so many men crave battle, adventure, and purpose—but settle for comfort, distraction, image, and shallow wins.

This conversation hits deep on:

• Why men are wired for battle, adventure, and beauty
• How comfort can quietly rob your calling
• Why many men are living as spectators instead of warriors
• Learning to lose well so you can grow well
• The danger of shortcuts, false fulfillment, and surface-level masculinity
• Why unresolved wounds affect identity, relationships, and purpose
• How failure can refine character instead of destroy it
• The difference between looking strong and becoming strong
• Why integration matters: spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and relationally

This is a conversation about real manhood—not performance, not image, but transformation.

Become the man with nothing to prove, nothing to hide, and nothing to lose.

Key Timestamps

00:00 Intro + Cameron’s background
04:00 Broken homes, pain, and how early wounds shape identity
10:30 Why men crave battle
14:00 Spectator culture vs warriors
20:00 Living the small story vs the greater story
25:00 Why men struggle to lose well
34:00 Shortcuts, comfort, and false fulfillment
43:00 David, failure, loss, and identity
51:00 Integration: why hidden wounds affect everything
1:00:00 What young men who are “crushing it” do differently
1:13:00 Warriors vs gladiators
1:15:00 Top influences, books, and people to follow

Books Mentioned

• Chase the Lion
  Bold faith, courage, and pursuing God-sized risk.
• A Tale of Three Kings
  Leadership, humility, authority, and how God shapes men through tension.

👥 People Mentioned / Recommended to Follow

• Ryan Leak
  Leadership, purpose, communication, and practical growth.
• Rich Wilkerson Jr.
  Faith, leadership, relationships, and spiritual maturity.
• Jackie Chan
  Mentioned as an influence around discipline, creativity, and craft.
• 50 Cent
  Mentioned as an influence on hustle, work ethic, and drive.

Organizations / Ministries Mentioned

• Rockford Empowerment Center
  Serving people in Rockford through practical support and gospel-centered outreach.
• The Integrated Man
  Men’s counseling, groups, retreats, and growth resources.

Key Quotes From This Episode

“Men are wired for battle, adventure, and beauty.”
“Comfort can quietly rob your calling.”
“You cannot win well if you never learn to lose well.”
“Don’t settle for looking strong—become strong.”
“The battles you ignore often shape the man you become.”

Connect With Integrated Masculinity

Men’s counseling
Foundations groups
Retreats
Adventure experiences
Pastoral support

👉 Integrated Masculinity

Book link:

https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Revisited-Small-Businesses-About/dp/0887307280

Influences:

- Jordan Petersen - thought leader on practical living: https://www.instagram.com/jordan.b.peterson/

- Pat Flynn - Smart Passive Income: https://www.instagram.com/patflynn

- Pia Silva - Small Business Guru: https://www.instagram.com/pialovesyourbiz

Takeaways

• Personal and professional growth
• Navigating transitions Opinion vs. Influence
• The Importance of Consistency
• Embracing the Mundane
• The Power of Shame

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction and Men's Retreats
• 05:16 Early Life and Family Background
• 11:02 Work Ethic and Learning Disabilities
• 17:19 Youth Ministry and Transition
• 22:37 Internal Struggles and Self-Efficacy
• 31:30 Transitioning and Wrestling with Change
• 43:13 Personal Growth and Struggles
• 51:55 Integration and Consistency

In this episode of The Integrated Man Podcast, Cory Bolduc sits down with his 19-year-old son Bryton - active duty Air Force - to talk about masculinity, discipline, identity, brotherhood, pornography, pride, emotional health, and what young men are really facing today.

Drawing from experiences in military basic training, family life, friendships, faith, and personal struggle, this conversation explores the deeper formation of manhood—not performance, not pretending, but becoming integrated from the inside out.

They discuss:
• Why discipline is foundational to masculinity
• The emotional impact of military training and survival mentality
• Why so many male friendships stay shallow
• Pornography, pride, and the search for identity
• How shame grows in secrecy
• Why men need depth, desire, and discipline to change
• The importance of spiritual leadership and emotional stability

This is a raw conversation between father and son about what it means to become a grounded, resilient, emotionally healthy man in a culture pulling men in every direction.

Become the man with nothing to prove, nothing to hide, and nothing to lose.

Learn more: The Integrated Man

Takeaways

• Mental toughness and discipline are essential for competing at a high level in sports and life.
• The transition from a professional sports career to civilian life requires a reevaluation of identity and purpose. Mindset drives action
• Emotional health is important for men
• Reading should lead to transformation

Chapters

• 00:00 Masculinity and Identity
• 26:48 Dreaming Big and Pursuing Passions
• 32:04 Addressing Victim Mentality and Emotional Health
• 38:16 Identifying and Dealing with Emotions
• 46:24 Influential Figures and Role Models

They struggle with disconnection.

Disconnection from who they are.
Disconnection from God.
Disconnection from what actually makes them whole.

But what if masculinity isn’t about doing more…
or becoming more impressive…

What if it’s about becoming integrated?

In this episode of The Integrated Man Podcast, Cory Bolduc sits down with worship pastor and longtime friend VanDynHoven to unpack what masculinity looks like when it’s rooted in identity—not performance.

Drawing from over 20 years in ministry, Sam brings a unique perspective from leading men in worship environments—spaces where confidence, vulnerability, and authenticity collide in real time.

This conversation goes deeper than surface-level masculinity.

It exposes the tension every man feels:
Between performance and authenticity.
Between image and identity.
Between doing… and actually being.

Because most men aren’t lacking strength…

They’re lacking clarity on who they are without what they do.

You’ll hear real, honest dialogue about identity, vulnerability, leadership, and the internal work required to become a man who is grounded, present, and whole.

This episode challenges the cultural pressure to perform—and replaces it with something far more powerful:

Authenticity.
Presence.
Alignment.

A man who is the same in private as he is in public.
A man who doesn’t need to perform—because he’s already rooted.

What We Cover

Why many men feel disconnected from themselves
The tension between performance and authenticity
What worship reveals about vulnerability in men
Why identity must come before calling
How men hide behind roles, success, and responsibility
The danger of tying identity to what you do
What real presence looks like in marriage and fatherhood
How to begin the process of becoming integrated

Key Takeaway

You don’t become a whole man by doing more.

You become whole by knowing who you are,
and living from that place.

Connect + Take the Next Step

Website: https://www.theintegratedman.life
Book a Counseling Session: https://www.theintegratedman.life
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theintegratedman.life

Connect with Sam

Sam VanDynHoven is a worship pastor with over 20 years of ministry experience, focused on creating environments where people encounter God and step into authentic identity.

Instagram - @samuel_vdh

Takeaways

• Integration of masculinity and worship
• Challenges of identity and performance
• Importance of authentic relationships Personal rediscovery and self-improvement
• Balancing work, family, and personal growth
• Integrating faith into everyday life

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Integrated Man Podcast
• 09:08 Vulnerability in Worship
• 20:42 Balancing Performance and Worship
• 30:08 Identity and Relationships
• 38:54 The Journey of Personal Rediscovery
• 46:32 Emotional Awareness and Integration
• 51:46 Influence of Mentors and Content Consumption
• 01:07:35 Challenges of Social Media and Hot Topics

Proving strength.
Proving dominance.
Proving they belong.

But what if the problem isn’t weakness…
it’s the need to prove anything at all?

In this episode of The Integrated Man Podcast, Cory Bolduc sits down with longtime friend, entrepreneur, and martial arts coach Darby to break down what masculinity actually looks like when it’s grounded in truth—not ego.

Drawing from over two decades of pastoral ministry and Darby’s 25+ years in martial arts, this conversation exposes the gap between perceived strength and real strength.

Because the mat doesn’t lie.

You’ll hear real stories of men walking in with something to prove and how quickly ego gets exposed when reality hits. But more importantly, you’ll learn what it actually means to become a man who is integrated, grounded, and whole.

This episode challenges the cultural narrative of hustle, dominance, and image...and replaces it with something deeper:

Humility.
Clarity.
Alignment.

A man who has nothing to prove, nothing to hide, and nothing to lose.

What We Cover

• Why most men are driven by the need to prove themselves
• What martial arts reveals about ego and identity
• The difference between confidence and insecurity
• Why humility is the foundation of real masculinity
• How men become fragmented—and how to become whole
• The danger of modeling your life after other men’s “highlight reels”
• What it looks like to live integrated: spirit, mind, body, and action

Key Takeaway

You don’t become a man by proving something to others.

You become a man by aligning your life under truth.

Connect + Take the Next Step

Website: https://www.theintegratedman.life
Book a Counseling Session: https://www.theintegratedman.life
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theintegratedman.life

Connect with Darby + Haanpaa Martial Arts

Haanpaa Martial Arts
Instagram: @darbyallenbjj

Darby is a martial arts coach and entrepreneur with over 25 years of experience in Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, focused on character development, discipline, and real-world strength.

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Website - www.theintegratedman.life

Instagram - @theintegratedman.life

Facebook - The Integrated Man