In this episode, I sit down with my friend Carla Liber, who lost her 16-year-old daughter Sami on August 8, 2024 — shortly before her junior year. We met through the particular heartbreak of losing young daughters, girls right on the edge of becoming who they were meant to be. 

Just four months after Sami’s passing, Carla and her family created the SAMI Foundation (Supporting Art, Music, and Imagination) — a way to honor their grief and keep Sami’s spirit alive through creativity. 

This conversation is about what it means to keep showing up, for your surviving children, your marriage, and yourself, when everyday moments become reminders of who isn’t here. 

To learn more about the SAMI Foundation and see Sami’s artwork, visit thesamifoundation.org

Connect with Kaye Steinsapir: 

• Subscribe on YouTube
• Instagram: @teammollyofficial 
• Substack: Transforming Pain Into Purpose
• The Molly Steinsapir Foundation

Connect with Nikki Mark:

• Instagram: @healingwithnikki
• Website: www.nikkimark.com
• TM23 Foundation:www.tm23foundation.org
  
  Connect with Kaye Steinsapir: 
• Subscribe on YouTube
• Instagram: @teammollyofficial 
• The Molly Steinsapir Foundation

The disease is rare, with only 500-1000 new cases diagnosed annually in the US. It's 3 times more frequent in women, and most prevalent in those aged 75-79. Ricky was a fit, young man preparing to take on the world after graduation. It was like a scene from Grey's Anatomy when a team of doctors gravely informed Ricky and his family that he suffers from an incurable disease that is destroying his ability to breathe.

Ricky knows that he's not a statistic and doesn't live his life based on dire stories and statistics on the internet. Still, they are dire. Ricky was horrified when he first Googled pulmonary hypertension. While Ricky has a deeper appreciation for life and his amazing family, friends and partner, he battles grief (his own and sorrow over theirs), and feelings of helplessness amidst intense physical pain.

Ricky and I met because were seated next to each other on a plane. With 8.3 billion people on the planet, I believe that our paths were meant to cross. Ricky's voice should be widely heard. Ricky explained that there is just so much he wants to say. He wants to show people that he's more than a terminal diagnosis, and inspire people to face their own challenges with a strong mindset. Follow Ricky on Instagram and TikTok at @rsaxdaily. Ricky reminds us of the miracle of breath, and the gift of a functioning body.

As you'll see, Ricky lives a full life, working in his chosen field, cherishing each moment with his loved ones, never taking a single one for granted. I'm grateful for our friendship and the opportunity to share his story.

I live in the present moment because the past is too painful and the future too uncertain. I've developed a sense of adventure as I ride the waves of life. I've stopped taking it all so seriously and resisting what's outside of my control.

Please note that this episode contains descriptions of violence and abuse. It's important to remind the audience that these are my personal recollections. Others who were present for the events that I describe will undoubtedly remember them differently. Memories fade. What remains lodged in a person's mind is as unique as a fingerprint.

I don't soften the hard edges of the truth, even when it hurts. My goal is transparency. Terrible things have happened to me, along with beautiful, awe-inspiring moments. It's all part of being alive. Thank you for witnessing my humanity, unfiltered.

Nafiz candidly shares what life's been like for his family in the past 7 years since Eliza's diagnosis. Despite their enormous challenges, the Cekirges increase awareness of the severity of eating disorders and raise critically needed funds through the Eliza J. M. Cekirge Foundation, a 501(c)(3) non-profit. Please consider making a tax-deductible donation.

Hi, I’m supporting this fundraiser on GoFundMe. If you can, please consider supporting by donating or sharing the link. Every bit of support makes a huge difference: https://gofund.me/abdd5ff01

A heartfelt thank you to Nafiz, Eliza and their family for helping others to better understand eating disorders and making treatment more accessible. Eliza, you have a lot people whom you haven't met rooting for you. We send you and your family so much love.

Damon was hilarious. I loved being around him because he never failed to crack me up. He was a fixture in our town of Pacific Palisades, where he grew up. Everyone knew and liked Damon. He could frequently be found in the village, having animated conversations over lunch, sharing the latest thing he was into. Damon was an avid learner. Lili shared that he sometimes stayed up all night reading. When he found something that excited him or worked well, he wanted to share it with everyone. I'll never forget when I first met Damon, he fervently explained that I needed to purify our drinking water with black mica, even showing up at our door that evening with a bag of the mineral powder and showing me how to use it. He was so convincing that I naturally followed his advice! Damon loved sunsets, date nights with Lili at his favorite sushi restaurant, and especially being a hands-on dad to his kids. Damon died while surfing under a full moon with his brother, Mike, on December 20, 2018. Reflecting on the night that obliterated her world, Lili recalls a number of unusual things happened that day. The Universe seemed to whisper that time was fleeting. Read more about Damon here - https://palisadesnews.com/death-of-pali-surfer-wake-up-call/.

Lili said that it was like a switch flipped. Damon was there and suddenly gone. In an instant, Lili became a widow, solely responsible for Delilah and Jonah. The shock and grief was physical. The sudden absence of Damon's enormous energy left a gaping void in their home and throughout our entire community. The difficulties were compounded by the isolation of the subsequent pandemic.Lili hadn't been working outside the home when Damon died. Through sheer grit and love of her kids, Lili managed to keep them in their family home. She returned to work as a real estate agent. Lili built a successful business and is helping many buy and sell properties in the wake of the Palisades fire. She’s the best! We wouldn't be in our current home without her connections, expertise and patience negotiating our lease in a competitive market. If you live in LA, Lili is the woman for all your real estate needs. Lili’s information can be found here - https://www.compass.com/agents/lili-geller/.

Delilah and Jonah are thriving, with Delilah preparing to attend her dream university this fall. As Lili said in our conversation, over the past 7 years, she's gone from being a "shaking leaf" after Damon died to embracing life again and growing her business. Lili is one of my favorite people - she always looks flawless, can whip up an amazing meal for a crowd and make it look effortless, and is a gift to everyone in her orbit. Lili will drop whatever she's doing when her family, friends or dogs need her. The life that Lili has created in her obliterated place is beautiful. Damon, always her biggest cheerleader, is somewhere not far off, pumping his arm, urging her to keep going. Lili writes, "The one thing I do know from my grief journey (and everyone’s is different) is that I was loved by Damon and he was loved by us. All the negatives that can build up in a lifetime don’t necessarily get forgotten but they just no longer carry any value and all that’s left is love. And love never dies. Never."

I met Elizabeth at her family's home shortly after Henry's funeral. In our conversation on the podcast, Elizabeth explained that she felt an urgent need to meet another grieving parent because she couldn't figure out how she was supposed to get up in the morning, and needed another person who understood to tell her. Her brain was overwhelmed with shock and pain.

Grief is as unique as our losses. But it's essential to meet others who've experienced a version of our unfamiliar new reality; to see them on their feet, a bit further down the path. While there's no singular way forward, other grieving parents showed me paths that they took. They gave me hope.

Part of my healing involves paying it forward for newly bereaved parents. I'm gratified by ripple effects, the ways in which someone whom I've helped eventually reaches back and takes the hand of a parent whose world has just been shattered. I know it makes our kids proud.

In the three and half years since I first met Elizabeth, she's discovered her own way forward. Elizabeth shares her experiences on Substack and has written a memoir about Henry's loss. She helps to moderate a group for grieving parents. Elizabeth fosters our community. I'm proud to be part of her circle.

I highly recommend Elizabeth's Substack, Channeling Grief - https://channelinggrief.substack.com/. Her viral Huffington Post essay can be found here - https://www.huffpost.com/entry/son-college-death-freak-accident-grief_n_690505f2e4b0060501ac2dad

You can also learn more about college campus safety at https://coreysafetyact.org/ and https://collegesafetycoalition.net/.

Jill was unable to find a support group for sibling loss. Because her parents died during the pandemic, it wasn't possible to have a service for them. We spoke about the need for grief to be witnessed. Read Jill's beautiful obituary for her dad, Bud Ennis, on my Substack, Transforming Pain Into Purpose - https://kayesteinsapir.substack.com/.

Grief and love are intertwined. We grieve their losses deeply because we love them infinitely. It was wonderful to hear Jill's happy memories of Darren and her parents. We want to talk about our loved ones who've passed. Jill also spoke about the undeniable signs she receives from Darren in spirit and how their relationship continues and evolves.

The Palisades fire compounded Jill's losses. Her family home burned down, along with her rental property, a source of income. Jill is nevertheless preparing to return home to the Palisades. Her family will be one of the first to return to their neighborhood, which is where she grew up.

While living with grief, Jill approaches life with an open heart, generosity of spirit and fun-loving nature. Her Obliterated Place becomes more beautiful with each passing day, a testament to her resilience and love of her family.

Suzanne Baruch Asherson is ambassador for Sharsheret. For more information about Sharsheret and the work they do please visit their website here: https://www.sharsheret.org