<![CDATA[Reflective Rebels Podcast: Human Stories, Brave Business]]>For business owners who feel like their days define them instead of the other way around - and are ready to do something about it.

Real stories of brave action from people who stopped pretending everything was fine and actually made a change. Not polished success stories or corporate LinkedIn bullshit. Just honest conversations about the leaps people took, what they risked, and what's happened since - the messy, the meaningful, and the still-figuring-it-out.

We talk about what shaped you, the moments that changed you, and what joy looks like now that you're building a business without selling your soul.

You'll feel less alone in whatever you're going through, find courage in someone else's story, and maybe get the push you need to take your own brave action.

A business podcast for UK business owners who want real growth without selling their soul.

Life's too short to be shit.

]]>https://www.reflectiverebels.co.ukRiverside.fm (https://riverside.com)Fri, 29 May 2026 16:31:43 GMTMon, 16 Feb 2026 11:44:25 GMT60Ben Hickman<p>For business owners who feel like their days define them instead of the other way around - and are ready to do something about it.</p><p>Real stories of brave action from people who stopped pretending everything was fine and actually made a change. Not polished success stories or corporate LinkedIn bullshit. Just honest conversations about the leaps people took, what they risked, and what's happened since - the messy, the meaningful, and the still-figuring-it-out.</p><p>We talk about what shaped you, the moments that changed you, and what joy looks like now that you're building a business without selling your soul.</p><p>You'll feel less alone in whatever you're going through, find courage in someone else's story, and maybe get the push you need to take your own brave action.</p><p>A business podcast for UK business owners who want real growth without selling their soul.</p><p>Life's too short to be shit.</p>episodicBen Hickmanben@reflectiverebels.co.ukyes<![CDATA[I Was a Puzzle Piece That Didn't Fit Anywhere - Kim Anson's Story]]>Not fitting in doesn't always look like being left out. Sometimes it's just a quiet sense that wherever you are, you're slightly on the outside of it. Kim Anson spent years feeling like that, working three jobs at once, stuck and skint, with pottery always running quietly in the background. Now she runs her own studio in Carlisle where people walk in and the stress drops off their shoulders. It didn't happen with a plan. It happened because she never stopped making pots.

Listen if...

  • You've got a thing you keep coming back to but can't figure out how to make it your actual life.
  • You're working hard, maybe across multiple jobs, and still asking yourself "what am I actually doing?"
  • You've never quite fitted in anywhere and you're starting to wonder if that's a problem or a superpower.

Keywords

not fitting in, finding your tribe, creative business, self-employment anxiety, saying no in business, career change, starting a business from nothing, self-doubt, business owner mental health, setting boundaries, identity

Five Lessons from This Episode

  • Kim was working retail, pubs, and a stockroom after uni, stuck and skint. But she was spending her spare money on pottery machinery instead of house deposits. The thing you're meant to build might already be the thing you can't stop doing.
  • Her grandma passed away and left her money. Kim put every penny into a studio and her parents matched it. The turning point wasn't a plan. It was knowing what she wanted and backing it.
  • Within a year Kim was ill from running the studio alongside her school job. Something has to give, and it's better if you choose what before your body does.
  • Kim said yes to everything for a year, then spent the next year saying no. She worked out what drained her and now protects her days off without apology.
  • Kim never changed shape to fit anyone else's puzzle. She built her own, and the right people found her.

Key Moments

(00:07:08) Kim on feeling like a puzzle piece that didn't fit anyone else's puzzle.

(22:37) The sober story. How binge drinking crept in and how Dry January became permanent.

(27:46) "What am I doing?" The years of being stuck after uni.

(37:16) Kim's grandma passes away and every penny goes into a studio.

(43:57) What the studio became. People walking in and the stress dropping off.

(50:49) The year-of-yes followed by year-of-no approach to boundaries.

Quotable Moments

"I was almost like a jigsaw puzzle piece that didn't fit into anybody else's puzzle." On feeling slightly on the outside of everything.

"What am I doing? I'd turn to my mate and say, what the fuck are we doing?" The stuck years after uni.

"There wasn't even a shadow in my mind that I was going to spend it on a holiday or put it down for a deposit." On her grandma's inheritance.

"It's my life and I've chosen it." Three years into the studio.

About Kim

Kim Anson runs KAH Ceramics, a pottery studio in Carlisle. Instagram: @kah_ceramics

About Ben

Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach on a mission to spread joy.

Support the Podcast: Share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.

Get in Touch

reflectiverebels.co.uk | Instagram: @reflectiverebels |

]]>003584a0-c333-40bc-9b04-2f69ac2501aeTue, 26 May 2026 06:30:00 GMT<p>Not fitting in doesn't always look like being left out. Sometimes it's just a quiet sense that wherever you are, you're slightly on the outside of it. Kim Anson spent years feeling like that, working three jobs at once, stuck and skint, with pottery always running quietly in the background. Now she runs her own studio in Carlisle where people walk in and the stress drops off their shoulders. It didn't happen with a plan. It happened because she never stopped making pots.</p><p></p><p>Listen if...</p><ul><li>You've got a thing you keep coming back to but can't figure out how to make it your actual life.</li><li>You're working hard, maybe across multiple jobs, and still asking yourself "what am I actually doing?"</li><li>You've never quite fitted in anywhere and you're starting to wonder if that's a problem or a superpower.</li></ul><p></p><p>Keywords</p><p>not fitting in, finding your tribe, creative business, self-employment anxiety, saying no in business, career change, starting a business from nothing, self-doubt, business owner mental health, setting boundaries, identity</p><p></p><p>Five Lessons from This Episode</p><ul><li>Kim was working retail, pubs, and a stockroom after uni, stuck and skint. But she was spending her spare money on pottery machinery instead of house deposits. The thing you're meant to build might already be the thing you can't stop doing.</li><li>Her grandma passed away and left her money. Kim put every penny into a studio and her parents matched it. The turning point wasn't a plan. It was knowing what she wanted and backing it.</li><li>Within a year Kim was ill from running the studio alongside her school job. Something has to give, and it's better if you choose what before your body does.</li><li>Kim said yes to everything for a year, then spent the next year saying no. She worked out what drained her and now protects her days off without apology.</li><li>Kim never changed shape to fit anyone else's puzzle. She built her own, and the right people found her.<p></p></li></ul><p>Key Moments</p><p>(00:07:08) Kim on feeling like a puzzle piece that didn't fit anyone else's puzzle.</p><p>(22:37) The sober story. How binge drinking crept in and how Dry January became permanent.</p><p>(27:46) "What am I doing?" The years of being stuck after uni.</p><p>(37:16) Kim's grandma passes away and every penny goes into a studio.</p><p>(43:57) What the studio became. People walking in and the stress dropping off.</p><p>(50:49) The year-of-yes followed by year-of-no approach to boundaries.</p><p></p><p>Quotable Moments</p><p>"I was almost like a jigsaw puzzle piece that didn't fit into anybody else's puzzle." On feeling slightly on the outside of everything.</p><p>"What am I doing? I'd turn to my mate and say, what the fuck are we doing?" The stuck years after uni.</p><p>"There wasn't even a shadow in my mind that I was going to spend it on a holiday or put it down for a deposit." On her grandma's inheritance.</p><p>"It's my life and I've chosen it." Three years into the studio.</p><p></p><p><b>About Kim</b></p><p>Kim Anson runs KAH Ceramics, a pottery studio in Carlisle. Instagram: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/kah_ceramics/" target="_blank">@kah_ceramics</a></p><p></p><p><b>About Ben</b></p><p>Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach on a mission to spread joy.</p><p>Support the Podcast: Share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.</p><p>Get in Touch</p><p><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk</a> | Instagram: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/" target="_blank">@reflectiverebels</a> | </p>yes00:59:03210I Was a Puzzle Piece That Didn't Fit Anywhere - Kim Anson's Storyfull<![CDATA[Trapped in Your Own Business: Why Calm Comes Before Strategy]]>You started this business for freedom. But somewhere along the way it became the thing trapping you. You're physically there every day because it feels like it won't run without you. You're emotionally carrying every decision, every salary, every problem. And mentally, your brain never switches off, not at five o'clock, not at ten, not at two in the morning.

In this solo episode, Ben talks about the cycle he sees constantly in coaching. Business owners who are so deep inside their own business that there's no time to think, no space to breathe, and no way to see a route out. Fear keeps you where you are. Time disappears into reacting to everything. Boundaries don't exist because every yes feels necessary. And the money doesn't add up to let you step back, even if you wanted to.

The usual advice to just delegate more doesn't work when you're trapped in a loop that big. Ben's starting point is simpler and more honest than that: before strategy, before systems, before hiring, you need calm.

This episode is about the gap between the business you imagined building and the one you're actually stuck inside. Ben breaks down the four things that keep business owners boxed in: fear that standards will slip if you step back, no time to think strategically because you're constantly reacting, no boundaries because you're saying yes to everything, and money that feels too tight to allow you to delegate.

One of Ben's clients described it perfectly. Instead of being the thermostat, setting the temperature and the direction, she'd become the thermometer, just reacting to whatever was happening around her. That image captures the whole problem.

The episode lands on one practical challenge. Block out three hours somewhere that isn't your office. Sit with one question: what am I doing because only I can do it, and what am I doing just because I've always done it? You can't redesign something when you're trapped inside it.

More at www.reflectiverebels.co.uk

]]>46b45c8d-c144-4625-8ab9-f5354b4c65dcWed, 20 May 2026 12:42:14 GMT<p>You started this business for freedom. But somewhere along the way it became the thing trapping you. You're physically there every day because it feels like it won't run without you. You're emotionally carrying every decision, every salary, every problem. And mentally, your brain never switches off, not at five o'clock, not at ten, not at two in the morning.</p><p></p><p>In this solo episode, Ben talks about the cycle he sees constantly in coaching. Business owners who are so deep inside their own business that there's no time to think, no space to breathe, and no way to see a route out. Fear keeps you where you are. Time disappears into reacting to everything. Boundaries don't exist because every yes feels necessary. And the money doesn't add up to let you step back, even if you wanted to.</p><p></p><p>The usual advice to just delegate more doesn't work when you're trapped in a loop that big. Ben's starting point is simpler and more honest than that: before strategy, before systems, before hiring, you need calm.</p><p></p><p>This episode is about the gap between the business you imagined building and the one you're actually stuck inside. Ben breaks down the four things that keep business owners boxed in: fear that standards will slip if you step back, no time to think strategically because you're constantly reacting, no boundaries because you're saying yes to everything, and money that feels too tight to allow you to delegate.</p><p></p><p>One of Ben's clients described it perfectly. Instead of being the thermostat, setting the temperature and the direction, she'd become the thermometer, just reacting to whatever was happening around her. That image captures the whole problem.</p><p></p><p>The episode lands on one practical challenge. Block out three hours somewhere that isn't your office. Sit with one question: what am I doing because only I can do it, and what am I doing just because I've always done it? You can't redesign something when you're trapped inside it.</p><p></p><p>More at www.reflectiverebels.co.uk<br /><br /></p>no00:08:2729Trapped in Your Own Business: Why Calm Comes Before Strategyfull<![CDATA[I Still Enjoy My Job. I Just Can't Switch It Off: Neil McBrearty]]>You love what you do. You're proud of what you've built. But somewhere along the way, the business stopped being something you run and started being something that runs you. You can't remember the last time you properly switched off.

Neil McBrearty has been in the carpet and flooring trade for over 35 years. He left school at 16, fell into a trade through his dad's contacts, and built a business from a van and a good reputation into a thriving shop with a loyal team around him. Along the way he's survived the Carlisle floods twice, losing his shop, his house, and his warehouse in a single night, COVID lockdowns, and losing his Dad. None of it stopped Neil. He just got up the next day and got on with it.

In this conversation, Neil talks about the mentors who shaped him, the pride in his work that customers kept coming back for, and the life he's built through hard graft, good relationships, and a refusal to cut corners. He's also honest about the tension most business owners never say out loud: that the thing you're most proud of can also be the thing that feels like a great weight on you. It's a warm, grounded conversation about what success actually looks like when you've earned every bit of it the hard way.

Listen if you...

  • You can't stop checking your phone even when you know there's nothing urgent.
  • You built something you're proud of but it doesn't feel like yours anymore.
  • You've watched someone you love get swallowed by their business and you're wondering if you're next.
  • You left school without a plan and still wonder if you're winging it. You keep going because stopping isn't something you know how to do.
  • You're proud of your work but you can't remember the last time you enjoyed it without the weight.

Quotable Moments

"I knew I could do the job, but you just done it. You took a little bit more time and you got faster and quicker and better." On learning by doing at 21.

"Everything you've worked for has just gone. It's emotional." On seeing his shop after the floods.

"I've always liked to be satisfied with the work that's been done." The pride that built his reputation.

"It's hard to enjoy a business though, it's just constant." The line most business owners think but never say.

About Neil Neil McBrearty runs Home Carpets by Neil McBrearty in Carlisle, Cumbria. Over 35 years in the carpet and flooring trade.

About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified executive coach working with small business owners and leaders to find joy and build a life worth living. reflectiverebels.co.uk

Support the Podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.

Get in Touch reflectiverebels.co.uk

]]>12d26bc0-a2c9-4bcf-ac3a-2e19cd5903c7Tue, 12 May 2026 06:00:00 GMT<p>You love what you do. You're proud of what you've built. But somewhere along the way, the business stopped being something you run and started being something that runs you. You can't remember the last time you properly switched off.</p><p></p><p>Neil McBrearty has been in the carpet and flooring trade for over 35 years. He left school at 16, fell into a trade through his dad's contacts, and built a business from a van and a good reputation into a thriving shop with a loyal team around him. Along the way he's survived the Carlisle floods twice, losing his shop, his house, and his warehouse in a single night, COVID lockdowns, and losing his Dad. None of it stopped Neil. He just got up the next day and got on with it.</p><p></p><p>In this conversation, Neil talks about the mentors who shaped him, the pride in his work that customers kept coming back for, and the life he's built through hard graft, good relationships, and a refusal to cut corners. He's also honest about the tension most business owners never say out loud: that the thing you're most proud of can also be the thing that feels like a great weight on you. It's a warm, grounded conversation about what success actually looks like when you've earned every bit of it the hard way.</p><p></p><p><b>Listen if you...</b></p><ul><li>You can't stop checking your phone even when you know there's nothing urgent. </li><li>You built something you're proud of but it doesn't feel like yours anymore. </li><li>You've watched someone you love get swallowed by their business and you're wondering if you're next. </li><li>You left school without a plan and still wonder if you're winging it. You keep going because stopping isn't something you know how to do. </li><li>You're proud of your work but you can't remember the last time you enjoyed it without the weight.</li><li></li></ul><p><b>Quotable Moments</b></p><p>"I knew I could do the job, but you just done it. You took a little bit more time and you got faster and quicker and better." On learning by doing at 21.</p><p>"Everything you've worked for has just gone. It's emotional." On seeing his shop after the floods.</p><p>"I've always liked to be satisfied with the work that's been done." The pride that built his reputation.</p><p>"It's hard to enjoy a business though, it's just constant." The line most business owners think but never say.</p><p></p><p><b>About Neil</b> Neil McBrearty runs Home Carpets by Neil McBrearty in Carlisle, Cumbria. Over 35 years in the carpet and flooring trade. <br /></p><p><b>About Ben</b> Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified executive coach working with small business owners and leaders to find joy and build a life worth living. <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk</a></p><p><b>Support the Podcast</b> The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.</p><p><b>Get in Touch</b> <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk</a></p>no00:52:2328I Still Enjoy My Job. I Just Can't Switch It Off: Neil McBreartyfull<![CDATA[Redundancy, Rainbow Farts & Building a Business From Nothing: Lisa Jackson's Story]]>Starting over after redundancy is terrifying, especially when you've got no savings, no plan and no idea what comes next. Lisa Jackson was made redundant three weeks before Christmas, came home to Cumbria, started doing marketing for ten quid an hour, and built Acorn Marketing from scratch.

Fifteen years on, she's still running it, still juggling business with motherhood and caring for her dad, and still carrying that little cloud of worry that never fully goes away.

Listen if you...

  • You're lying awake wondering whether starting again means you've failed.
  • You run your own business but you never actually planned to.
  • You feel guilty for working when you're with your kids and guilty for not working when you're at your desk.
  • You've got a little cloud of financial worry following you around even when things are going well.
  • You know you're creative but you've buried it under client work and to-do lists.

Keywords: starting over after redundancy, building a business from nothing, creative business owner, work life balance small business, mum guilt business owner, women in business Cumbria, niching down, business owner financial anxiety, setting boundaries self-employed, entrepreneur overwhelm

Five Lessons

  1. You don't need a grand plan to start something that works. Lisa started by helping people for almost nothing. The business grew from doing the thing in front of her.
  2. Redundancy can be the push you didn't know you needed. If you're in that moment right now, it might be the start of something, not the end.
  3. The juggle never gets comfortable. Lisa talks openly about mum guilt, carer guilt and the pull between her business and the people who need her. She's set boundaries that make it survivable.
  4. Creativity isn't a hobby, it's how some people make sense of the world. Lisa is niching back towards arts and theatre marketing because that's where she comes alive.
  5. The financial worry doesn't disappear just because the business is doing well. Fifteen years in, Lisa still feels that little cloud.

Quotable Moments

"I was charging ten pounds an hour and just putting myself out there."

"It's almost like a little cloud that comes around with you. What if that client disappeared?"

"Sitting at my desk is respite. It doesn't really feel like work because I love it so much."

"I just needed to do that thing."

About Lisa Jackson Founder of Acorn Marketing, Penrith, Cumbria. Author of Dr. April and the Rainbow Farts. LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lisajackson26 | Instagram: @acorn_marketing

About Ben Hickman ILM Level 7 qualified coach, Carlisle. Reflective Rebels exists to spread joy - the kind that comes from knowing who you are, what you want, and having the courage to go and get it.

Share this episode with one person who needs to hear it.

reflectiverebels.co.uk | @reflectiverebels |

Episode length: 59 minutes

]]>e40472d6-0f52-4c92-83eb-d59baeb8cea8Tue, 28 Apr 2026 06:00:00 GMT<p>Starting over after redundancy is terrifying, especially when you've got no savings, no plan and no idea what comes next. Lisa Jackson was made redundant three weeks before Christmas, came home to Cumbria, started doing marketing for ten quid an hour, and built Acorn Marketing from scratch. </p><p></p><p>Fifteen years on, she's still running it, still juggling business with motherhood and caring for her dad, and still carrying that little cloud of worry that never fully goes away.</p><p></p><p><b>Listen if you...</b></p><ul><li>You're lying awake wondering whether starting again means you've failed. </li><li>You run your own business but you never actually planned to.</li><li> You feel guilty for working when you're with your kids and guilty for not working when you're at your desk. </li><li>You've got a little cloud of financial worry following you around even when things are going well. </li><li>You know you're creative but you've buried it under client work and to-do lists.</li><li></li></ul><p><b>Keywords:</b> starting over after redundancy, building a business from nothing, creative business owner, work life balance small business, mum guilt business owner, women in business Cumbria, niching down, business owner financial anxiety, setting boundaries self-employed, entrepreneur overwhelm</p><p></p><p><b>Five Lessons</b></p><ol><li>You don't need a grand plan to start something that works. Lisa started by helping people for almost nothing. The business grew from doing the thing in front of her.</li><li>Redundancy can be the push you didn't know you needed. If you're in that moment right now, it might be the start of something, not the end.</li><li>The juggle never gets comfortable. Lisa talks openly about mum guilt, carer guilt and the pull between her business and the people who need her. She's set boundaries that make it survivable.</li><li>Creativity isn't a hobby, it's how some people make sense of the world. Lisa is niching back towards arts and theatre marketing because that's where she comes alive.</li><li>The financial worry doesn't disappear just because the business is doing well. Fifteen years in, Lisa still feels that little cloud.</li></ol><p></p><p><b>Quotable Moments</b></p><p>"I was charging ten pounds an hour and just putting myself out there."</p><p>"It's almost like a little cloud that comes around with you. What if that client disappeared?"</p><p>"Sitting at my desk is respite. It doesn't really feel like work because I love it so much."</p><p>"I just needed to do that thing."</p><p></p><p><b>About Lisa Jackson</b> Founder of Acorn Marketing, Penrith, Cumbria. Author of Dr. April and the Rainbow Farts. LinkedIn: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://linkedin.com/in/lisajackson26" target="_blank">linkedin.com/in/lisajackson26</a> | Instagram: @acorn_marketing</p><p></p><p><b>About Ben Hickman</b> ILM Level 7 qualified coach, Carlisle. Reflective Rebels exists to spread joy - the kind that comes from knowing who you are, what you want, and having the courage to go and get it.</p><p>Share this episode with one person who needs to hear it.</p><p><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk</a> | <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/" target="_blank">@reflectiverebels</a> | </p><p></p><p><b>Episode length:</b> 59 minutes</p>no00:59:2627Redundancy, Rainbow Farts & Building a Business From Nothing: Lisa Jackson's Storyfull<![CDATA[Trust Yourself: Building a Business From Scratch When Everything Feels Uncertain - Abigail's Story]]>Career change looks brave from the outside and feels like daily panic from the inside. Abigail Fleming spent fifteen years as a fashion designer in London before she did the maths on nursery fees, retrained from scratch, and started Ben the Hoose, her interior design business in Kendal. Four years in, she's still building, still scared, still going.

Listen if...

  • You feel a low hum of panic even when things are going well
  • You've made a career change and quietly wonder if you got it right
  • You walk into networking events in your own town where nobody knows your name
  • You did the maths on nursery fees and realised your old job wasn't going to bend around your new life
  • You're a few years in and still waiting for it to feel easier
  • You wonder if you're brave or just stubborn, and whether there's a difference

Keywords career change, imposter syndrome, business owner panic, working mum, mum guilt, starting a business after kids, building a business from scratch, business owner self-doubt, retraining, leaving London, interior design business, Cumbria business

Five lessons from the conversation

  • The old life rarely bends around the new one. Abigail did the maths on twelve-hour days and nursery fees and saw the thing most people don't want to say out loud. The brave bit isn't realising it. The brave bit is acting on it.
  • Panic isn't a sign you're doing it wrong. Abigail describes it showing up daily, four years into a business she loves. Most of us are taught to read fear as a stop sign. It's actually just weather.
  • You can be direct about what you want without being too much. On the first date with the man who'd become her husband, Abigail told him she wanted children and didn't want to waste her time. The clarity didn't push him away. It got her the life she was after.
  • Building something nobody's heard of yet is unglamorous work. There's no breakthrough moment. There's brochures dropped at suppliers, friendly hellos at building companies, networking events where you start from zero, and turning up again next week.
  • Trusting yourself isn't a feeling you arrive at. It's a thing you do while the panic is still happening. The closing line of the episode is about dating, but it transposes to every brave thing she's done since.

Quotable moments

"I don't want to waste my time." Abigail on the first date with her now husband, being clear from the start about what she wanted.

"Panic will come on a daily basis." Four years into running her own business, on what nobody tells you about going it alone.

"I can do anything attitude, until you land that job and you're like, gosh, how am I going to do it?" On the gap between confidence and reality the moment a big project lands.

"Just trust yourself to be who you are and be able to meet the person that loves you for being you." The line Abigail would give her younger self. Said about dating, lands somewhere much bigger.

About Abigail Abigail Fleming is the founder of Ben the Hoose, an interior design studio based in Kendal working with residential and commercial clients across Cumbria and Lancashire.

About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach helping small business owners find joy through self-knowledge, courage and brave action.

Support the podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.

Get in touch reflectiverebels.co.uk

Episode length: approximately 1 hour 1 minute

]]>e83d1cf0-22ce-44c4-951a-11047d8db237Tue, 14 Apr 2026 05:00:00 GMT<p>Career change looks brave from the outside and feels like daily panic from the inside. Abigail Fleming spent fifteen years as a fashion designer in London before she did the maths on nursery fees, retrained from scratch, and started Ben the Hoose, her interior design business in Kendal. Four years in, she's still building, still scared, still going.</p><p></p><p><b>Listen if...</b></p><ul><li>You feel a low hum of panic even when things are going well</li><li>You've made a career change and quietly wonder if you got it right</li><li>You walk into networking events in your own town where nobody knows your name</li><li>You did the maths on nursery fees and realised your old job wasn't going to bend around your new life</li><li>You're a few years in and still waiting for it to feel easier</li><li>You wonder if you're brave or just stubborn, and whether there's a difference</li></ul><p></p><p><b>Keywords</b> career change, imposter syndrome, business owner panic, working mum, mum guilt, starting a business after kids, building a business from scratch, business owner self-doubt, retraining, leaving London, interior design business, Cumbria business</p><p></p><p><b>Five lessons from the conversation</b></p><ul><li>The old life rarely bends around the new one. Abigail did the maths on twelve-hour days and nursery fees and saw the thing most people don't want to say out loud. The brave bit isn't realising it. The brave bit is acting on it.</li><li>Panic isn't a sign you're doing it wrong. Abigail describes it showing up daily, four years into a business she loves. Most of us are taught to read fear as a stop sign. It's actually just weather.</li><li>You can be direct about what you want without being too much. On the first date with the man who'd become her husband, Abigail told him she wanted children and didn't want to waste her time. The clarity didn't push him away. It got her the life she was after.</li><li>Building something nobody's heard of yet is unglamorous work. There's no breakthrough moment. There's brochures dropped at suppliers, friendly hellos at building companies, networking events where you start from zero, and turning up again next week.</li><li>Trusting yourself isn't a feeling you arrive at. It's a thing you do while the panic is still happening. The closing line of the episode is about dating, but it transposes to every brave thing she's done since.</li></ul><p></p><p><b>Quotable moments</b></p><p>"I don't want to waste my time." Abigail on the first date with her now husband, being clear from the start about what she wanted.</p><p>"Panic will come on a daily basis." Four years into running her own business, on what nobody tells you about going it alone.</p><p>"I can do anything attitude, until you land that job and you're like, gosh, how am I going to do it?" On the gap between confidence and reality the moment a big project lands.</p><p>"Just trust yourself to be who you are and be able to meet the person that loves you for being you." The line Abigail would give her younger self. Said about dating, lands somewhere much bigger.</p><p></p><p><b>About Abigail</b> Abigail Fleming is the founder of <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.benthehooseinteriors.com/" target="_blank">Ben the Hoose</a>, an interior design studio based in Kendal working with residential and commercial clients across Cumbria and Lancashire. </p><p></p><p><b>About Ben</b> Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach helping small business owners find joy through self-knowledge, courage and brave action.</p><p><b>Support the podcast</b> The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.</p><p><b>Get in touch</b> <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk</a></p><p><b>Episode length:</b> approximately 1 hour 1 minute</p>no01:01:1926Trust Yourself: Building a Business From Scratch When Everything Feels Uncertain - Abigail's Storyfull<![CDATA[Starting Over at 50 With No Plan, No Savings and No Confidence - Rebecca Bird's Story]]>You know that feeling where your career looks successful from the outside but it's quietly running you into the ground? Rebecca Bird was an MD, on anxiety pills and sleeping pills, so deep in the burnout cycle she couldn't see how bad things had got. In this episode she talks about walking away from all of it and starting again at 50 with nothing but a Canva flyer and three months' worth of belief.

Listen if you...

  • You've been working until 11pm and telling yourself it's just a busy phase.
  • You know you need to make a change but you're waiting until you feel ready.
  • You perform confidence at networking events while falling apart on the inside.
  • You've built something successful and you're quietly wondering why it doesn't feel like enough.
  • You don't know who you are without your job title.

Keywords: business owner burnout, starting over at 50, entrepreneur mental health, burnout recovery, imposter syndrome business owner, work life balance, career change, self-doubt, overcoming anxiety, setting up a business, starting a business after burnout, vulnerable leadership

Five Lessons from This Episode

  1. The hamster wheel doesn't announce itself. Rebecca didn't realise how bad things had got until she was on medication and off work. When you're in it, you can't see the wood for the trees.
  2. You don't need a plan, savings, or confidence to start. Rebecca's dad told her to "paddle your own canoe." She set up Precision HR in five days, gave herself three months, and assumed she'd end up getting a job.
  3. The fear doesn't go away, you just learn to do things scared. Rebecca was so anxious about networking that her counsellor gave her a strategy for what to do if nobody spoke to her. She went anyway.
  4. Some things belong in the f*** it bucket. Rebecca's sister bought her an actual bucket. If you can't change it and worrying won't help, it goes in the bucket. She still uses it.
  5. Growth and wellbeing don't have to be mutually exclusive. Rebecca's building again, but this time the work-life balance is non-negotiable.

Quotable Moments

"If I don't do it now, I never will. I'm going to be 50."

"I come across as this confident, outgoing person. I wouldn't have my photo taken. I never went networking anywhere."

"Are those emails you're doing till 11 o'clock at night going to make any real difference?"

"The worst thing for me would be sitting there thinking, well I failed and it's because I didn't do those things."

About Rebecca

Rebecca Bird is the founder of Precision HR, based in Cumbria. Find her on LinkedIn.

About Ben

Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach based in Carlisle. Reflective Rebels exists to spread joy, the kind that comes from knowing who you are, what you want, and having the courage to go and get it.

Support the Podcast

Share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.

Get in Touch

For coaching enquiries visit reflectiverebels.co.uk. Find Ben on Instagram, or LinkedIn.

]]>2b3065bf-7627-4f6c-aadf-3e0295a06ea8Tue, 31 Mar 2026 06:00:00 GMT<p>You know that feeling where your career looks successful from the outside but it's quietly running you into the ground? Rebecca Bird was an MD, on anxiety pills and sleeping pills, so deep in the burnout cycle she couldn't see how bad things had got. In this episode she talks about walking away from all of it and starting again at 50 with nothing but a Canva flyer and three months' worth of belief.</p><p></p><p><b>Listen if you...</b></p><ul><li>You've been working until 11pm and telling yourself it's just a busy phase.</li><li>You know you need to make a change but you're waiting until you feel ready.</li><li>You perform confidence at networking events while falling apart on the inside.</li><li>You've built something successful and you're quietly wondering why it doesn't feel like enough.</li><li>You don't know who you are without your job title.</li></ul><p></p><p><b>Keywords:</b> business owner burnout, starting over at 50, entrepreneur mental health, burnout recovery, imposter syndrome business owner, work life balance, career change, self-doubt, overcoming anxiety, setting up a business, starting a business after burnout, vulnerable leadership</p><p></p><p><b>Five Lessons from This Episode</b></p><ol><li>The hamster wheel doesn't announce itself. Rebecca didn't realise how bad things had got until she was on medication and off work. When you're in it, you can't see the wood for the trees.</li><li>You don't need a plan, savings, or confidence to start. Rebecca's dad told her to "paddle your own canoe." She set up Precision HR in five days, gave herself three months, and assumed she'd end up getting a job.</li><li>The fear doesn't go away, you just learn to do things scared. Rebecca was so anxious about networking that her counsellor gave her a strategy for what to do if nobody spoke to her. She went anyway.</li><li>Some things belong in the f*** it bucket. Rebecca's sister bought her an actual bucket. If you can't change it and worrying won't help, it goes in the bucket. She still uses it.</li><li>Growth and wellbeing don't have to be mutually exclusive. Rebecca's building again, but this time the work-life balance is non-negotiable.</li></ol><p></p><p>Quotable Moments</p><p>"If I don't do it now, I never will. I'm going to be 50."</p><p></p><p>"I come across as this confident, outgoing person. I wouldn't have my photo taken. I never went networking anywhere."</p><p></p><p>"Are those emails you're doing till 11 o'clock at night going to make any real difference?"</p><p></p><p>"The worst thing for me would be sitting there thinking, well I failed and it's because I didn't do those things."</p><p></p><p><b>About Rebecca</b></p><p>Rebecca Bird is the founder of Precision HR, based in Cumbria. Find her on <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-bird-msc-hrm-chartered-cipd-031b5194/" target="_blank">LinkedIn</a>.</p><p></p><p><b>About Ben</b></p><p>Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach based in Carlisle. <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.reflectiverebels.co.uk/" target="_blank">Reflective Rebels</a> exists to spread joy, the kind that comes from knowing who you are, what you want, and having the courage to go and get it.</p><p></p><p><b>Support the Podcast</b></p><p>Share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.</p><p></p><p><b>Get in Touch</b></p><p>For coaching enquiries visit <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk</a>. Find Ben on <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/" target="_blank">Instagram</a>, or <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/benhickman109/" target="_blank">LinkedIn</a>.</p>yes00:54:2325Starting Over at 50 With No Plan, No Savings and No Confidence - Rebecca Bird's Storyfull<![CDATA[Why Success Doesn't Feel Like Success (And What To Do About It)]]>Something weird happens when things are actually going well. You hit your targets, good stuff is happening, and then one piece of bad news lands and suddenly that's the only thing you can see. This episode is about why your brain does that, and what you can actually do about it.

Listen if you...

  • You've hit a goal you've been chasing for months and felt absolutely nothing when you got there.
  • You know rationally that things are going well, but one bad thing happens and it wipes everything else out.
  • Your response to stress is to work harder and quietly drop all the things that actually make you feel human.
  • You're so fixed on where you want to be in six months that you've stopped noticing where you are right now.
  • You've heard of gratitude journalling and always thought it sounded a bit naff, but you're starting to wonder.
  • You feel like you should have your shit together by now, and somehow that just makes it worse.

Keywords

business owner burnout, entrepreneur overwhelm, imposter syndrome, negativity bias, arrival fallacy, gratitude practice, mindfulness for business owners, fear of failure, self-worth, burnout recovery, overcoming self-doubt, business owner mental health

Key Moments

00:00 - Ben's recorded the intro five times and decides to just open with that. It tells you immediately what kind of episode this is going to be.

01:30 - A client leaves the Badass Business Lab saying they didn't get value for money. Ben fixates on it despite hitting his revenue targets the same week.

03:27 - The negativity bias, explained without the jargon. Why our brains do this and why it's not a personal failing.

04:05 - The arrival fallacy. How we're so busy chasing the next thing that we forget we're already standing on the last one.

05:05 - What Ben actually did about it, and it wasn't working harder.

07:54 - Getting curious about failure instead of just feeling bad about it. How sorting his own state first meant he could actually learn something and do something with it.

Quotable Moments

"I was taking away the things that make me feel good and acting habitually out of a sense of panic." The moment Ben clocked what his stress response was actually doing to him.

"Energy in is energy out." Not a throwaway line. This is the thing that got him out of it. If you're running on empty, you cannot do good work for the people who are counting on you.

"There only exists this one beautiful moment in the present." The reminder that the future you're anxious about doesn't exist yet, and right now is the only place any of this actually happens.

"There's no such thing as failure, only data." The reframe that made it possible to learn from the client leaving rather than just feel terrible about it.

About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified executive coach based in Carlisle, Cumbria. He works with business owners and leaders who want to build something worth having. reflectiverebels.co.uk

Support the Podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.

Get in Touch Interested in coaching? Head to reflectiverebels.co.uk or find Ben on Instagram and LinkedIn.

Episode length: 10:23

]]>7a08bd75-d6c7-4ab3-a032-5bdaa58dcf16Tue, 24 Mar 2026 07:00:00 GMT<p>Something weird happens when things are actually going well. You hit your targets, good stuff is happening, and then one piece of bad news lands and suddenly that's the only thing you can see. This episode is about why your brain does that, and what you can actually do about it.</p><p></p><p><b>Listen if you...</b></p><ul><li>You've hit a goal you've been chasing for months and felt absolutely nothing when you got there.</li><li>You know rationally that things are going well, but one bad thing happens and it wipes everything else out.</li><li>Your response to stress is to work harder and quietly drop all the things that actually make you feel human.</li><li>You're so fixed on where you want to be in six months that you've stopped noticing where you are right now.</li><li>You've heard of gratitude journalling and always thought it sounded a bit naff, but you're starting to wonder.</li><li>You feel like you should have your shit together by now, and somehow that just makes it worse.<p></p></li></ul><p><b>Keywords</b></p><p>business owner burnout, entrepreneur overwhelm, imposter syndrome, negativity bias, arrival fallacy, gratitude practice, mindfulness for business owners, fear of failure, self-worth, burnout recovery, overcoming self-doubt, business owner mental health</p><p></p><p><b>Key Moments</b></p><p>00:00 - Ben's recorded the intro five times and decides to just open with that. It tells you immediately what kind of episode this is going to be.</p><p>01:30 - A client leaves the Badass Business Lab saying they didn't get value for money. Ben fixates on it despite hitting his revenue targets the same week.</p><p>03:27 - The negativity bias, explained without the jargon. Why our brains do this and why it's not a personal failing.</p><p>04:05 - The arrival fallacy. How we're so busy chasing the next thing that we forget we're already standing on the last one.</p><p>05:05 - What Ben actually did about it, and it wasn't working harder.</p><p>07:54 - Getting curious about failure instead of just feeling bad about it. How sorting his own state first meant he could actually learn something and do something with it.</p><p></p><p><b>Quotable Moments</b></p><p>"I was taking away the things that make me feel good and acting habitually out of a sense of panic." The moment Ben clocked what his stress response was actually doing to him.</p><p></p><p>"Energy in is energy out." Not a throwaway line. This is the thing that got him out of it. If you're running on empty, you cannot do good work for the people who are counting on you.</p><p></p><p>"There only exists this one beautiful moment in the present." The reminder that the future you're anxious about doesn't exist yet, and right now is the only place any of this actually happens.</p><p></p><p>"There's no such thing as failure, only data." The reframe that made it possible to learn from the client leaving rather than just feel terrible about it.</p><p></p><p><b>About Ben</b> Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified executive coach based in Carlisle, Cumbria. He works with business owners and leaders who want to build something worth having. <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk</a></p><p></p><p><b>Support the Podcast</b> The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.</p><p></p><p><b>Get in Touch</b> Interested in coaching? Head to <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk</a> or find Ben on <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/" target="_blank">Instagram</a> and <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/benhickman109/" target="_blank">LinkedIn</a>.</p><p><b>Episode length:</b> 10:23</p>no00:10:24Why Success Doesn't Feel Like Success (And What To Do About It)full<![CDATA[I Just Thought, Why Not? Brave Decisions and Starting Over - Cat Park's Story]]>Most of us have a thing we keep almost doing. The idea we talk ourselves out of before it gets any air. The decision we're saving for when we feel more ready. Cat Park has never really understood that instinct. Her answer to a crossroads has almost always been the same: why not? If it doesn't work, change it. This conversation is about what it actually looks like to live that way.

Listen if you...

  • You've got an idea but you keep talking yourself out of it before you've even tried.
  • You're waiting for the right moment and it never quite arrives.
  • You tell yourself you'll do it properly when you've got a plan, and the plan never quite comes together.
  • You know what you want but you're scared of backing yourself and getting it wrong.
  • You look at other people making bold moves and wonder how they just do it without all the noise in their head.

Keywords brave decisions, giving it a go, bold action, business owner mindset, backing yourself, fear of failure, self-doubt, starting a business without a plan, reinvention, entrepreneurship, Reflective Rebels, UK business podcast

Five lessons

  1. The plan doesn't have to come first. Cat built Ten Letter PR from nothing but a laptop and a contacts list. No business plan, no financial backing, no roadmap. She sent emails and ran with it. The plan, if it came at all, came later.
  2. Fearlessness isn't the absence of doubt. Cat calls herself the biggest overthinker and means it. The difference isn't that she doesn't feel the hesitation. It's that she makes the call anyway and figures it out as she goes.
  3. Moments of disruption have a way of unlocking things. The 2005 Carlisle floods filled Cat's first house to waist height and somehow she came out of it thinking: there's definitely more to life than this. It was that thought, not the disaster itself, that sent her to London two weeks later.
  4. The "why not" instinct is a muscle. Cat was raised by a mother who modelled it, grew up with enough independence to trust it, and has spent her whole adult life exercising it. It gets harder as you get older and the stakes feel higher. But it doesn't have to disappear.
  5. Knowing when to let go is its own kind of brave action. Walking away from Ten Letter after twelve years wasn't a retreat. It was Cat applying the same instinct in reverse: this no longer fits, so what's next? The courage that builds things is the same courage that releases them.

Key moments

00:00 — Cat's Friday night routine. Tidy house, tidy mind, Prosecco, charcuterie board. You know exactly who you're listening to within five minutes.

05:50 — Growing up in rural Cumbria with a headteacher mum, locking up the house alone as kids, and where the independence came from.

24:00 — The 2005 Carlisle floods, the ferret in the Topshop shoebox, and the realisation that sent her to London two weeks later.

26:47 — Why bold moves felt easy when she was younger, and what's changed. The emotional heart of the episode.

33:00 — Day one at the music channel, the quiet confidence, and the six month prediction that came true.

57:44 — Handing Ten Letter to Nina. The conversation about letting go as its own act of courage.

Want to go deeper?

If this conversation has got you thinking about your own next move, Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach based in Cumbria. He works with business owners who are ready to stop waiting and actually do something about it. Find out more at reflectiverebels.co.uk or follow along on Instagram.

]]>80b5e770-8a2b-46ff-9f09-ba7be95148d8Tue, 17 Mar 2026 07:00:00 GMT<p>Most of us have a thing we keep almost doing. The idea we talk ourselves out of before it gets any air. The decision we're saving for when we feel more ready. Cat Park has never really understood that instinct. Her answer to a crossroads has almost always been the same: why not? If it doesn't work, change it. This conversation is about what it actually looks like to live that way.</p><p></p><p><b>Listen if you...</b></p><ul><li>You've got an idea but you keep talking yourself out of it before you've even tried.</li><li>You're waiting for the right moment and it never quite arrives.</li><li>You tell yourself you'll do it properly when you've got a plan, and the plan never quite comes together.</li><li>You know what you want but you're scared of backing yourself and getting it wrong.</li><li>You look at other people making bold moves and wonder how they just do it without all the noise in their head.</li></ul><p></p><p><b>Keywords</b> brave decisions, giving it a go, bold action, business owner mindset, backing yourself, fear of failure, self-doubt, starting a business without a plan, reinvention, entrepreneurship, Reflective Rebels, UK business podcast</p><p></p><p><b>Five lessons</b></p><ol><li>The plan doesn't have to come first. Cat built Ten Letter PR from nothing but a laptop and a contacts list. No business plan, no financial backing, no roadmap. She sent emails and ran with it. The plan, if it came at all, came later.</li><li>Fearlessness isn't the absence of doubt. Cat calls herself the biggest overthinker and means it. The difference isn't that she doesn't feel the hesitation. It's that she makes the call anyway and figures it out as she goes.</li><li>Moments of disruption have a way of unlocking things. The 2005 Carlisle floods filled Cat's first house to waist height and somehow she came out of it thinking: there's definitely more to life than this. It was that thought, not the disaster itself, that sent her to London two weeks later.</li><li> The "why not" instinct is a muscle. Cat was raised by a mother who modelled it, grew up with enough independence to trust it, and has spent her whole adult life exercising it. It gets harder as you get older and the stakes feel higher. But it doesn't have to disappear.</li><li>Knowing when to let go is its own kind of brave action. Walking away from Ten Letter after twelve years wasn't a retreat. It was Cat applying the same instinct in reverse: this no longer fits, so what's next? The courage that builds things is the same courage that releases them.</li></ol><p></p><p><b>Key moments</b></p><p>00:00 — Cat's Friday night routine. Tidy house, tidy mind, Prosecco, charcuterie board. You know exactly who you're listening to within five minutes.</p><p>05:50 — Growing up in rural Cumbria with a headteacher mum, locking up the house alone as kids, and where the independence came from.</p><p>24:00 — The 2005 Carlisle floods, the ferret in the Topshop shoebox, and the realisation that sent her to London two weeks later.</p><p>26:47 — Why bold moves felt easy when she was younger, and what's changed. The emotional heart of the episode.</p><p>33:00 — Day one at the music channel, the quiet confidence, and the six month prediction that came true.</p><p>57:44 — Handing Ten Letter to Nina. The conversation about letting go as its own act of courage.</p><p></p><p><b>Want to go deeper?</b></p><p>If this conversation has got you thinking about your own next move, Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach based in Cumbria. He works with business owners who are ready to stop waiting and actually do something about it. Find out more at <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk</a> or follow along on <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/" target="_blank">Instagram</a>. </p>no01:04:1623I Just Thought, Why Not? Brave Decisions and Starting Over - Cat Park's Storyfull<![CDATA[Fear of Failure: Why I Nearly Never Made This Episode]]>There's a thing you've been putting off. Ben nearly didn't make this episode for the same reason: fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear of looking like a plonker in front of people he respects. This solo episode is him thinking out loud about what actually stops us from doing the things we want to do, recorded walking up a hill in Cumbria because sometimes you just have to go.

Listen if you...

  • Have been telling yourself you'll do the scary thing when you've got more time, more confidence, or more of a clue what you're doing.
  • Know there's something you could put out into the world but keep finding reasons not to.
  • Spend more energy worrying about what people will think than actually doing the thing.
  • Feel like everyone else has it more together than you, and starting something new will just expose that.
  • Keep waiting to feel ready, even though you suspect ready isn't coming.

Keywords: fear of failure, overcoming self-doubt, perfectionism, fear of judgement, imposter syndrome, brave action, self-doubt business owner, courage, people pleasing, fear of what people think, UK business coaching podcast, starting something new

Five Lessons

  • Fear is almost never about the thing itself. The excuse is rarely the real reason.
  • Most people are not watching, and most people do not care. The audience you're performing for in your head is bigger than the one that actually exists.
  • The people it's not for don't matter. Make it for the one person who hears it and does something differently as a result.
  • You are not supposed to be good at something the first time. Aim for four out of ten. Get it done. Learn.
  • Life is in the doing, not the arriving. Waiting until you're ready means waiting through most of it.

Key Moments with Timestamps

00:01 — Ben explains why solo episodes are finally happening in season two.

02:30 — He admits the real reason he kept putting them off: self-doubt and fear of what people would think.

04:07 — Three things he'd say to a client standing where he was: most people won't see it, the ones who hate it aren't your people, and you're not supposed to be good at it yet.

06:34 — Why aiming for four out of ten is not lowering your standards but finally giving yourself permission to start.

08:00 — The invitation: write down the thing you've been wanting to do, ask three questions about it, then go.

Quotable Moments

"The ego trying to protect us from feeling like an outsider is one of the biggest things that stops us from going out there and doing the things we want to do."

"F**k them. This is not for them."

"It would be totally arrogant, bizarre and bonkers to believe that on go one, I'd be any good at this whatsoever."

"Life is not in me getting to the summit of the hill. Life's in this moment right now in me having a bloody go."

About Ben: Ben Hickman is a business coach and host of Reflective Rebels, on a mission to spread joy. reflectiverebels.co.uk

Support the Podcast: The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.

Get in Touch: reflectiverebels.co.uk and reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter

Episode length: Approximately 10 minutes.

]]>caee9efc-8821-4683-9efb-03edecbdef64Tue, 10 Mar 2026 07:00:00 GMT<p>There's a thing you've been putting off. Ben nearly didn't make this episode for the same reason: fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear of looking like a plonker in front of people he respects. This solo episode is him thinking out loud about what actually stops us from doing the things we want to do, recorded walking up a hill in Cumbria because sometimes you just have to go.</p><p></p><p><b>Listen if you...</b></p><ul><li>Have been telling yourself you'll do the scary thing when you've got more time, more confidence, or more of a clue what you're doing.</li><li>Know there's something you could put out into the world but keep finding reasons not to.</li><li>Spend more energy worrying about what people will think than actually doing the thing.</li><li>Feel like everyone else has it more together than you, and starting something new will just expose that.</li><li>Keep waiting to feel ready, even though you suspect ready isn't coming.</li></ul><p></p><p>Keywords: fear of failure, overcoming self-doubt, perfectionism, fear of judgement, imposter syndrome, brave action, self-doubt business owner, courage, people pleasing, fear of what people think, UK business coaching podcast, starting something new</p><p></p><p><b>Five Lessons</b></p><ul><li>Fear is almost never about the thing itself. The excuse is rarely the real reason.</li><li>Most people are not watching, and most people do not care. The audience you're performing for in your head is bigger than the one that actually exists.</li><li>The people it's not for don't matter. Make it for the one person who hears it and does something differently as a result.</li><li>You are not supposed to be good at something the first time. Aim for four out of ten. Get it done. Learn.</li><li>Life is in the doing, not the arriving. Waiting until you're ready means waiting through most of it.<p></p></li></ul><p>Key Moments with Timestamps</p><p>00:01 — Ben explains why solo episodes are finally happening in season two.</p><p>02:30 — He admits the real reason he kept putting them off: self-doubt and fear of what people would think.</p><p>04:07 — Three things he'd say to a client standing where he was: most people won't see it, the ones who hate it aren't your people, and you're not supposed to be good at it yet.</p><p>06:34 — Why aiming for four out of ten is not lowering your standards but finally giving yourself permission to start.</p><p>08:00 — The invitation: write down the thing you've been wanting to do, ask three questions about it, then go.</p><p>Quotable Moments</p><p>"The ego trying to protect us from feeling like an outsider is one of the biggest things that stops us from going out there and doing the things we want to do."</p><p>"F**k them. This is not for them."</p><p>"It would be totally arrogant, bizarre and bonkers to believe that on go one, I'd be any good at this whatsoever."</p><p>"Life is not in me getting to the summit of the hill. Life's in this moment right now in me having a bloody go."</p><p></p><p><b>About Ben: </b>Ben Hickman is a business coach and host of Reflective Rebels, on a mission to spread joy. <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk</a></p><p></p><p>Support the Podcast: The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.</p><p></p><p>Get in Touch: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk</a> and <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter</a></p><p></p><p>Episode length: Approximately 10 minutes.</p>no00:09:5622Fear of Failure: Why I Nearly Never Made This Episodefull<![CDATA[I Doubted Myself Every Single Day (And Built an Animation Studio Anyway) - Lou's Story]]>Lou wakes up every morning and her brain tells her she can't do it. That she's not good enough. That she should quit. Every day. And then she does it anyway.

Lou is the founder of an animation studio (built in Carlisle, run internationally) with credits on CBeebies and a viral flying pig racking up 16 million Giphy views in four months. She's been told by recruiters she'd never make it. By doctors she'd never heal. By her own head, daily, that this was impossible.

This conversation is about what self-belief actually looks like, not the Instagram version, but the daily, grinding, sometimes tearful reality of building something brave.

Listen if you:

  • Doubt yourself daily but refuse to give up on your dream
  • Want to build something meaningful but wonder if you're good enough
  • Need proof that self-belief can be built, not just born with
  • Are ready to stop waiting to feel ready

Key Takeaways:

  • Self-belief and self-doubt aren't opposites, they live side by side every day
  • The people who succeed aren't the ones without fear, they're the ones who get faster at bouncing back
  • Connections and relationships are the real engine behind every career breakthrough
  • Fail fast, learn fast. Don't spend a year on something when a day will tell you the same thing
  • Belief in yourself is a practice, not a personality trait

Timestamps:

  • 00:00 Introduction
  • 06:00 What makes people fall in love with characters and stories
  • 09:00 Little Lou — art easels, Saturday morning cartoons and the Teletubbies moment
  • 18:00 College, university and finding your people
  • 25:00 The recruiter who said "you're not good enough — come back when you're better"
  • 29:00 Quitting the day job and going all in
  • 39:00 Working on CBeebies' Cloudbabies — and having a baby at the same time
  • 42:00 Self-belief vs self-doubt — the daily fight
  • 47:00 The tools Lou uses to get out of her own head
  • 51:00 Healing from autoimmune illness the doctors said was incurable
  • 57:00 Pigasus — the flying pig with 16 million views and a serious message

Want more honest stories like this? Join the rebellion: reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter

Find Lou: @loukneath | @positivelypigasus | positivelypigasus.com | plus3k.tv

Find Ben: @reflective_rebels | reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter

]]>1660bfa3-4e74-47be-b68c-1ef8c3455eeeTue, 03 Mar 2026 07:00:00 GMT<p>Lou wakes up every morning and her brain tells her she can't do it. That she's not good enough. That she should quit. Every day. And then she does it anyway.</p><p>Lou is the founder of an animation studio (built in Carlisle, run internationally) with credits on CBeebies and a viral flying pig racking up 16 million Giphy views in four months. She's been told by recruiters she'd never make it. By doctors she'd never heal. By her own head, daily, that this was impossible.</p><p>This conversation is about what self-belief actually looks like, not the Instagram version, but the daily, grinding, sometimes tearful reality of building something brave.</p><p><b>Listen if you:</b></p><ul><li>Doubt yourself daily but refuse to give up on your dream</li><li>Want to build something meaningful but wonder if you're good enough</li><li>Need proof that self-belief can be built, not just born with</li><li>Are ready to stop waiting to feel ready</li></ul><p><b>Key Takeaways:</b></p><ul><li>Self-belief and self-doubt aren't opposites, they live side by side every day</li><li>The people who succeed aren't the ones without fear, they're the ones who get faster at bouncing back</li><li>Connections and relationships are the real engine behind every career breakthrough</li><li>Fail fast, learn fast. Don't spend a year on something when a day will tell you the same thing</li><li>Belief in yourself is a practice, not a personality trait</li></ul><p><b>Timestamps:</b></p><ul><li>00:00 Introduction</li><li>06:00 What makes people fall in love with characters and stories</li><li>09:00 Little Lou — art easels, Saturday morning cartoons and the Teletubbies moment</li><li>18:00 College, university and finding your people</li><li>25:00 The recruiter who said "you're not good enough — come back when you're better"</li><li>29:00 Quitting the day job and going all in</li><li>39:00 Working on CBeebies' Cloudbabies — and having a baby at the same time</li><li>42:00 Self-belief vs self-doubt — the daily fight</li><li>47:00 The tools Lou uses to get out of her own head</li><li>51:00 Healing from autoimmune illness the doctors said was incurable</li><li>57:00 Pigasus — the flying pig with 16 million views and a serious message</li></ul><p><b>Want more honest stories like this? Join the rebellion:</b> <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter</a></p><p></p><p><b>Find Lou:</b> <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/loukneath/" target="_blank">@loukneath</a> | <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/positivelypigasus/" target="_blank">@positivelypigasus</a> | <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://positivelypigasus.com" target="_blank">positivelypigasus.com</a> | <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://plus3k.tv" target="_blank">plus3k.tv</a></p><p></p><p><b>Find Ben:</b> <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/" target="_blank">@reflective_rebels</a> | <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter</a></p>no01:06:2421I Doubted Myself Every Single Day (And Built an Animation Studio Anyway) - Lou's Storyfull<![CDATA[Anxiety: Why It Hits During Good Times (Martha's Story)]]>Episode Summary:

If you've ever felt anxious when things are actually going well, this episode is for you.

Martha's story: How stability triggered anxiety, why "I'm not creative" became her biggest lie, and what wild swimming taught her about being human.

Listen if you:

  • Feel anxious even when you "should" be grateful
  • Tell yourself stories about what you can't do
  • Wonder why the good times sometimes feel harder than the bad ones
  • Think you're not the "creative type"

35 minutes of honest conversation about anxiety, creativity, and the stories we tell ourselves.

Key takeaways

  • Anxiety can emerge during stability, not just chaos - Sometimes when life finally settles, we start feeling things we've been too busy to process
  • From "I hate the Lake District" to finding peace in wild swimming - Our strongest "never" statements often hide our greatest transformations
  • "I'm not creative" to oil painting success - Challenging lifelong assumptions can unlock parts of ourselves we never knew existed
  • Making people laugh can be armour we outgrow - Using humour to deflect and fit in might protect us but can also disconnect us from our authentic selves
  • Therapy isn't just for crisis moments - Investing in mental health maintenance when things are good can be life-changing

Quotable Moments:

"I think marriage is a continual choice. Whether that takes 10 years to get married or it takes nine months to get married, if you are with somebody that is willing to work on it with you... the time thing doesn't make a big difference."

"It was paralysing to be honest and it was so different to who I thought I was... I didn't want to leave the house ever. And that was crazy to me because I'm a social person."

"There's a peace that you cannot describe... being in the middle of a lake, just looking around and taking that in, it makes you realise that you're quite small... it reminds you of the big things in life."

Mentioned in this episode

  • Wild swimming in the Lake District
  • Oil painting classes
  • The power of therapy for mental health maintenance
  • Louis Theroux documentaries (perfect 7:30pm viewing!)
  • King Silver (fantasy book recommendation)


If this episode resonates...

Are you ready to challenge the stories you've been telling yourself?

If you're standing at your own moment of questioning - whether it's about your career, your business, or simply who you think you are - you're not alone. Sometimes the biggest transformations start with the smallest question: "What if I'm wrong about this?"

Join my email community for reflections on living authentically, choosing your own enough, and stories that remind you your story isn't over yet.

And if this story resonates deeply - if you're ready to challenge your own stories and create real change - I'd love to explore how I can support your transformation.

Contact me today.


]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ben-hickman/episodes/Anxiety-Why-It-Hits-During-Good-Times-Marthas-Story-e35sn1n61549e10-67b8-4694-97d6-c81713eecac7Tue, 29 Jul 2025 06:57:27 GMT<p><b>Episode Summary:</b></p><p>If you've ever felt anxious when things are actually going well, this episode is for you.</p><p>Martha's story: How stability triggered anxiety, why "I'm not creative" became her biggest lie, and what wild swimming taught her about being human.</p><p>Listen if you:</p><ul><li>Feel anxious even when you "should" be grateful</li><li>Tell yourself stories about what you can't do</li><li>Wonder why the good times sometimes feel harder than the bad ones</li><li>Think you're not the "creative type"</li></ul><p></p><p>35 minutes of honest conversation about anxiety, creativity, and the stories we tell ourselves.<br /></p><p><b>Key takeaways</b></p><ul><li><b>Anxiety can emerge during stability, not just chaos</b> - Sometimes when life finally settles, we start feeling things we've been too busy to process</li><li><b>From "I hate the Lake District" to finding peace in wild swimming</b> - Our strongest "never" statements often hide our greatest transformations</li><li><b>"I'm not creative" to oil painting success</b> - Challenging lifelong assumptions can unlock parts of ourselves we never knew existed</li><li><b>Making people laugh can be armour we outgrow</b> - Using humour to deflect and fit in might protect us but can also disconnect us from our authentic selves</li><li><b>Therapy isn't just for crisis moments</b> - Investing in mental health maintenance when things are good can be life-changing<br /></li></ul><p><b>Quotable Moments:</b></p><p><i>"I think marriage is a continual choice. Whether that takes 10 years to get married or it takes nine months to get married, if you are with somebody that is willing to work on it with you... the time thing doesn't make a big difference."</i></p><p><i>"It was paralysing to be honest and it was so different to who I thought I was... I didn't want to leave the house ever. And that was crazy to me because I'm a social person."</i></p><p><i>"There's a peace that you cannot describe... being in the middle of a lake, just looking around and taking that in, it makes you realise that you're quite small... it reminds you of the big things in life."</i></p><p></p><p><b>Mentioned in this episode</b></p><ul><li>Wild swimming in the Lake District</li><li>Oil painting classes</li><li>The power of therapy for mental health maintenance</li><li>Louis Theroux documentaries (perfect 7:30pm viewing!)</li><li>King Silver (fantasy book recommendation)</li></ul><p><br /></p><p><b>If this episode resonates...</b></p><p><b>Are you ready to challenge the stories you've been telling yourself?</b></p><p>If you're standing at your own moment of questioning - whether it's about your career, your business, or simply who you think you are - you're not alone. Sometimes the biggest transformations start with the smallest question: "What if I'm wrong about this?"</p><p><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter" target="_blank"><b>Join my email community</b></a> for reflections on living authentically, choosing your own enough, and stories that remind you your story isn't over yet.</p><p><b>And if this story resonates deeply</b> - if you're ready to challenge your own stories and create real change - I'd love to explore how I can support your transformation.</p><p><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.reflectiverebels.co.uk/contact" target="_blank">Contact me</a> today.</p><p><br /></p>yes00:46:1311Anxiety: Why It Hits During Good Times (Martha's Story)full<![CDATA[I Can't Give Everything to Everyone Else Anymore - Laura's Story]]>Do you measure yourself by what you've accomplished instead of how you actually feel?

Laura did. Chief executive of a charity, studying for a degree, doing two voluntary roles, raising her son as a single parent. When people asked how she was, she'd rattle off what she'd achieved. "Yeah, I'm great, I'm fine."

Her friends knew it was coming. She didn't.

One afternoon at 3pm, her skin started crawling. Pancreatitis. Hospital for three months. Couldn't work, couldn't trust herself to make decisions, had to move back in with her parents.

The turning point: lying in bed one night, hearing her mum and dad tend to her son because she couldn't get up. That's when she thought: I can't give everything to everybody else anymore.

This conversation is about what happens when your body forces you to stop. About the "big shitty stick of motherhood" we beat ourselves with. About rebuilding when you realise you don't know who you are without all the roles. About learning to be Laura before being anything else.

Listen if:

  • You're checking emails while making breakfast for your kids
  • You say "I'm fine" while listing everything you've achieved
  • You feel guilty if you're not doing the best you can do all the time
  • Cleaning feels like "me time" because it's the only thing you can control
  • You don't know who you are without your roles

Five lessons from Laura's story:

1. You can't give everything away to everyone else 

Laura was chief executive, student, volunteer, single parent - trying to be all things to all people. There was no space left for her. That's not sustainable.

2. When you don't stop, your body will stop you

Laura ignored every warning sign until pancreatitis put her in hospital. If you don't choose to slow down, it chooses you.

3. Identity beyond roles takes rebuilding piece by piece 

After her breakdown, Laura didn't know who she was without CEO, mum, student. She had to rebuild from scratch: "Is that one of my pieces? Is that me?"

4. Vulnerability isn't weakness 

People called Laura an "ice queen" who never showed emotion. That compartmentalising left her isolated and burnt out. Now she 'cries at adverts' and feels stronger than ever.

5. Joy comes from presence, not proving yourself 

Laura used to measure herself by achievements. Now joy is playing PlayStation with her son, reading without scrolling her phone. Being there, not performing.


About the host

Ben Hickman is the founder of Reflective Rebels, coaching overwhelmed business owners and exhausted professionals. With 14+ years running his own business (including hitting burnout in 2015), Ben gets what it's like when you're giving everything away to things that maybe aren't the important things.

To find out more visit www.reflectiverebels.co.uk

We're done pretending everything's fine. We want more than coping. We want a life that feels like ours.

56 minutes • For anyone still trying to prove they're good enough

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ben-hickman/episodes/I-Cant-Give-Everything-to-Everyone-Else-Anymore-Lauras-Story-e39rdt0c0e00141-64d0-448a-84c0-2b8acbc6ae54Tue, 21 Oct 2025 15:00:00 GMT<p><b>Do you measure yourself by what you've accomplished instead of how you actually feel?</b></p><p>Laura did. Chief executive of a charity, studying for a degree, doing two voluntary roles, raising her son as a single parent. When people asked how she was, she'd rattle off what she'd achieved. "Yeah, I'm great, I'm fine."</p><p>Her friends knew it was coming. She didn't.</p><p>One afternoon at 3pm, her skin started crawling. Pancreatitis. Hospital for three months. Couldn't work, couldn't trust herself to make decisions, had to move back in with her parents.</p><p>The turning point: lying in bed one night, hearing her mum and dad tend to her son because she couldn't get up. That's when she thought: I can't give everything to everybody else anymore.</p><p>This conversation is about what happens when your body forces you to stop. About the "big shitty stick of motherhood" we beat ourselves with. About rebuilding when you realise you don't know who you are without all the roles. About learning to be Laura before being anything else.</p><p></p><p><b>Listen if:</b></p><ul><li>You're checking emails while making breakfast for your kids</li><li>You say "I'm fine" while listing everything you've achieved</li><li>You feel guilty if you're not doing the best you can do all the time</li><li>Cleaning feels like "me time" because it's the only thing you can control</li><li>You don't know who you are without your roles</li></ul><p></p><p><b>Five lessons from Laura's story:</b></p><p><b>1. You can't give everything away to everyone else</b> </p><p>Laura was chief executive, student, volunteer, single parent - trying to be all things to all people. There was no space left for her. That's not sustainable.</p><p><b>2. When you don't stop, your body will stop you</b></p><p>Laura ignored every warning sign until pancreatitis put her in hospital. If you don't choose to slow down, it chooses you.</p><p><b>3. Identity beyond roles takes rebuilding piece by piece</b> </p><p>After her breakdown, Laura didn't know who she was without CEO, mum, student. She had to rebuild from scratch: "Is that one of my pieces? Is that me?"</p><p><b>4. Vulnerability isn't weakness</b> </p><p>People called Laura an "ice queen" who never showed emotion. That compartmentalising left her isolated and burnt out. Now she 'cries at adverts' and feels stronger than ever.</p><p><b>5. Joy comes from presence, not proving yourself</b> </p><p>Laura used to measure herself by achievements. Now joy is playing PlayStation with her son, reading without scrolling her phone. Being there, not performing.</p><p><br /><b>About the host</b></p><p>Ben Hickman is the founder of Reflective Rebels, coaching overwhelmed business owners and exhausted professionals. With 14+ years running his own business (including hitting burnout in 2015), Ben gets what it's like when you're giving everything away to things that maybe aren't the important things.</p><p><b>To find out more visit </b><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="www.reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank"><b>www.reflectiverebels.co.uk</b></a></p><p>We're done pretending everything's fine. We want more than coping. We want a life that feels like ours.</p><p><b>56 minutes • For anyone still trying to prove they're good enough</b></p>yes00:57:5217I Can't Give Everything to Everyone Else Anymore - Laura's Storyfull<![CDATA[Becoming badass When the Five-Year-Old Stops Running the Show - Theresa’s Story]]>Theresa has lived many lives... across continents, careers, and versions of herself. From a childhood in Zimbabwe and South Africa to teenage years in Portugal and now life in Carlisle, she’s spent years learning what it means to belong, to rebuild, and to finally take up space as the adult version of herself.

In this conversation, she talks about movement, motherhood, grief, and growing into the kind of woman who calls her own shots. The kind who’s learned that strength isn’t about pretending everything’s fine, it’s about owning the whole story, even the messy chapters.

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve been performing someone else’s version of your life, or you’re just tired of holding it all together, this one’s for you.

Listen if you:

  • Feel like you’ve been “fine” for too long and want something more real
  • Keep shape-shifting to fit where you are but never quite feel at home
  • Need a reminder that confidence can come later in life, and that’s okay
  • Are trying to make peace with the messier parts of your story
  • Want to hear from someone who’s figured out how to stop shrinking herself


Lessons from her story:

  • You can start again — more than once. Reinvention isn’t failure; it’s what living looks like.
  • Confidence doesn’t appear overnight. It builds quietly through hard-won moments
  • You’re allowed to outgrow people, places, and versions of yourself.
  • Owning your story means owning all of it, even the parts you’d rather forget.
  • Community doesn’t just happen; you create it.

Memorable quotes:

“Five-year-old me was kind of running the show. Adult me actually knows what she’s doing and she can run the show.”

“Sometimes we’ve just got to talk about the shit things too — not just the ones that happen to us, but the ones we do. It’s all part of our story.”

“I always say the things other people don’t say. I get those looks like, ‘Oh gosh, you said that,’ and I’m like, yeah, I did.”

“If women are confident, it often comes across as something else. But it isn’t. I’ve stepped into my adult shoes — I’m properly living my life.”

“Granny made me become a celebrant. She didn’t follow her dreams, so I’m making sure I follow mine.”

About the Podcast

We’re Done Pretending is a Reflective Rebels podcast hosted by Ben Hickman. Real conversations about the beautiful, messy muddle of being human. No quick fixes. No corporate masks. Just honest stories about joy, loss, identity, and the work of becoming ourselves again.

Coaching: If this conversation resonated and you’re ready to find a life that feels good to you, email ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk.


Follow Reflective Rebels: https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/ on Instagram


Subscribe to the newsletter: reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter for news, and updates for exhausted humans.


Read Theresa’s writing: https://substack.com/@theresawritesnow

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ben-hickman/episodes/Becoming-badass-When-the-Five-Year-Old-Stops-Running-the-Show---Theresas-Story-e3afnt6fdd6377e-5ffa-4c3d-8140-cc41825d3002Tue, 04 Nov 2025 09:15:39 GMT<p>Theresa has lived many lives... across continents, careers, and versions of herself. From a childhood in Zimbabwe and South Africa to teenage years in Portugal and now life in Carlisle, she’s spent years learning what it means to belong, to rebuild, and to finally take up space as the adult version of herself.</p><p>In this conversation, she talks about movement, motherhood, grief, and growing into the kind of woman who calls her own shots. The kind who’s learned that strength isn’t about pretending everything’s fine, it’s about owning the whole story, even the messy chapters.</p><p>If you’ve ever felt like you’ve been performing someone else’s version of your life, or you’re just tired of holding it all together, this one’s for you.</p><p>Listen if you:</p><ul><li>Feel like you’ve been “fine” for too long and want something more real</li><li>Keep shape-shifting to fit where you are but never quite feel at home</li><li>Need a reminder that confidence can come later in life, and that’s okay</li><li>Are trying to make peace with the messier parts of your story</li></ul><ul><li>Want to hear from someone who’s figured out how to stop shrinking herself</li></ul><p><br />Lessons from her story:</p><ul><li><b>You can start again — more than once.</b> Reinvention isn’t failure; it’s what living looks like.</li><li><b>Confidence doesn’t appear overnight.</b> It builds quietly through hard-won moments</li><li><b>You’re allowed to outgrow people, places, and versions of yourself.</b></li><li><b>Owning your story means owning all of it, even the parts you’d rather forget.</b></li><li><b>Community doesn’t just happen; you create it.</b></li></ul><p></p><p><b>Memorable quotes:</b></p><p>“Five-year-old me was kind of running the show. Adult me actually knows what she’s doing and she can run the show.”</p><p>“Sometimes we’ve just got to talk about the shit things too — not just the ones that happen to us, but the ones we do. It’s all part of our story.”</p><p>“I always say the things other people don’t say. I get those looks like, ‘Oh gosh, you said that,’ and I’m like, yeah, I did.”</p><p>“If women are confident, it often comes across as something else. But it isn’t. I’ve stepped into my adult shoes — I’m properly living my life.”</p><p>“Granny made me become a celebrant. She didn’t follow her dreams, so I’m making sure I follow mine.”</p><p></p><p><b><i>About the Podcast</i></b></p><p><i>We’re Done Pretending</i> is a Reflective Rebels podcast hosted by Ben Hickman. Real conversations about the beautiful, messy muddle of being human. No quick fixes. No corporate masks. Just honest stories about joy, loss, identity, and the work of becoming ourselves again.</p><p><b>Coaching:</b> If this conversation resonated and you’re ready to find a life that feels good to you, email <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk</a>.</p><p><br /><b>Follow Reflective Rebels:</b> <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/reflectiverebels">https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/</a> on Instagram</p><p><br /><b>Subscribe to the newsletter:</b> <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter </a>for news, and updates for exhausted humans.</p><p><br /><b>Read Theresa’s writing:</b> <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="#" target="_blank">https://substack.com/@theresawritesnow</a></p>yes01:01:4018Becoming badass When the Five-Year-Old Stops Running the Show - Theresa’s Storyfull<![CDATA[Trailer: Season 1]]>For business owners whose days define them instead of the other way around. Who do everything for everybody else while drifting through their own existence.

Real people putting down their masks and sharing what's actually happening in their lives - not the LinkedIn version, but the honest truth about struggle AND joy, mess AND meaning. The kind of conversations that make you think, 'I'm not the only one who feels this way.'

You'll feel less alone in whatever you're going through, maybe learn something about yourself in their story, and find the courage to make a change in your own life.


]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ben-hickman/episodes/Trailer-Season-1-e35qqqn0bf474e6-45c6-4afd-bf38-df48eb01a4ecMon, 21 Jul 2025 13:28:13 GMT<p>For business owners whose days define them instead of the other way around. Who do everything for everybody else while drifting through their own existence.</p><p>Real people putting down their masks and sharing what's actually happening in their lives - not the LinkedIn version, but the honest truth about struggle AND joy, mess AND meaning. The kind of conversations that make you think, 'I'm not the only one who feels this way.' </p><p>You'll feel less alone in whatever you're going through, maybe learn something about yourself in their story, and find the courage to make a change in your own life.</p><p><br /></p> yes00:00:59Trailer: Season 1trailer<![CDATA[When Everything Goes Wrong: Finding What Actually Matters (Craig's Story)]]>Episode Summary:

What do you hold onto when everything falls apart?

Craig's story: From Bell's palsy at 15 to his partner's terminal cancer diagnosis, plus the Acer tree that became his anchor through it all.

Listen if you:

  • Feel like life keeps throwing curveballs at you
  • Wonder how some people stay grounded during chaos
  • Need to hear that kindness and humor matter more than having it all figured out
  • Are supporting someone through illness or crisis

42 minutes about resilience, anchors, and choosing kindness when life gets brutal.

Key Takeaways:

Difficult experiences can become sources of perspective - Bell's palsy at 15 taught Craig "it's not that bad" and "it'll be over eventually"

Finding your anchors matters - Whether it's an Acer tree for weeding, music in the front room, or running in the rain

Joy lives in small moments - Overheard conversations, watching team members grow, a son eating pizza for the first time

Being kind and helping others is what matters most - Using your struggles to help others through theirs

Everything happens for a reason - Finding peace with uncertainty and not always knowing what comes next

Quotable Moments:

"I've always been able, since then I think, been able to look at life and go, two things, it's not that bad. And I know it'll be over eventually."

"There's an Acer tree in our garden that probably saved me... I actually do enjoy it, but don't tell Jenny I enjoy it because it needs doing this weekend."

"Being nice to people matters, being kind matters, and trying to help people matters to me, because I know the things that I've struggled on."

Mentioned in This Episode:

  • Bell's palsy and its long-term impact
  • Moving from Burnley to the Lake District
  • High-end hi-fi and album listening
  • Running to Doors and Rage Against the Machine
  • The Acer tree as a place of refuge
  • Eden Valley Hospice fundraising
  • The importance of having someone to trust

Support & Resources

If Craig's story has brought up difficult feelings or you're facing similar challenges, support is available:

  • Samaritans: samaritans.org - for anyone struggling with difficult emotions
  • Macmillan Cancer Support: macmillan.org.uk - for anyone affected by cancer
  • Mind: mind.org.uk - mental health information and support
  • Bell's Palsy Association: bellspalsy.org.uk - specific support and information
  • Eden Valley Hospice: edenvalleyhospice.org - the hospice Craig is fundraising for


If This Resonates...

Are you looking for your own anchors when life feels uncertain?

Craig's story reminds us that resilience isn't about having all the answers - it's about finding the small things that ground us, being kind to others, and trusting that we'll get through whatever comes next.

Join our email community for more honest stories about finding strength in difficulty and joy in unexpected places.

And if you're navigating your own challenging time - whether it's work, business, relationships, or life transitions - I'd love to explore how coaching can help you. Sometimes we all need support to see what we can't see ourselves. Email me ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ben-hickman/episodes/When-Everything-Goes-Wrong-Finding-What-Actually-Matters-Craigs-Story-e369aj26b54af4f-e158-4a2b-bc5c-7bc04e93a984Tue, 12 Aug 2025 07:00:00 GMT<p><b>Episode Summary:</b></p><p>What do you hold onto when everything falls apart?</p><p>Craig's story: From Bell's palsy at 15 to his partner's terminal cancer diagnosis, plus the Acer tree that became his anchor through it all.</p><p>Listen if you:</p><ul><li>Feel like life keeps throwing curveballs at you</li><li>Wonder how some people stay grounded during chaos</li><li>Need to hear that kindness and humor matter more than having it all figured out</li><li>Are supporting someone through illness or crisis<br /></li></ul><p>42 minutes about resilience, anchors, and choosing kindness when life gets brutal.</p><p><b>Key Takeaways:</b></p><p><b>Difficult experiences can become sources of perspective</b> - Bell's palsy at 15 taught Craig "it's not that bad" and "it'll be over eventually"</p><p><b>Finding your anchors matters</b> - Whether it's an Acer tree for weeding, music in the front room, or running in the rain</p><p><b>Joy lives in small moments</b> - Overheard conversations, watching team members grow, a son eating pizza for the first time</p><p><b>Being kind and helping others is what matters most</b> - Using your struggles to help others through theirs</p><p><b>Everything happens for a reason </b>- Finding peace with uncertainty and not always knowing what comes next</p><p></p><p><b>Quotable Moments:</b></p><p>"I've always been able, since then I think, been able to look at life and go, two things, it's not that bad. And I know it'll be over eventually."</p><p>"There's an Acer tree in our garden that probably saved me... I actually do enjoy it, but don't tell Jenny I enjoy it because it needs doing this weekend."</p><p>"Being nice to people matters, being kind matters, and trying to help people matters to me, because I know the things that I've struggled on."</p><p><b>Mentioned in This Episode:</b></p><ul><li>Bell's palsy and its long-term impact</li><li>Moving from Burnley to the Lake District</li><li>High-end hi-fi and album listening</li><li>Running to Doors and Rage Against the Machine</li><li>The Acer tree as a place of refuge</li><li>Eden Valley Hospice fundraising</li><li>The importance of having someone to trust</li></ul><p></p><p><b>Support &amp; Resources</b></p><p>If Craig's story has brought up difficult feelings or you're facing similar challenges, support is available:</p><ul><li>Samaritans: samaritans.org - for anyone struggling with difficult emotions</li><li>Macmillan Cancer Support: macmillan.org.uk - for anyone affected by cancer</li><li>Mind: mind.org.uk - mental health information and support</li><li>Bell's Palsy Association: bellspalsy.org.uk - specific support and information</li><li>Eden Valley Hospice: edenvalleyhospice.org - the hospice Craig is fundraising for</li></ul><p><br /><b>If This Resonates...</b></p><p><b>Are you looking for your own anchors when life feels uncertain?</b></p><p>Craig's story reminds us that resilience isn't about having all the answers - it's about finding the small things that ground us, being kind to others, and trusting that we'll get through whatever comes next.</p><p><b>Join our </b><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter" target="_blank"><b>email community</b></a><b> </b>for more honest stories about finding strength in difficulty and joy in unexpected places.</p><p>And if you're navigating your own challenging time - whether it's work, business, relationships, or life transitions - I'd love to explore how coaching can help you. Sometimes we all need support to see what we can't see ourselves. Email me ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk</p>yes00:47:5712When Everything Goes Wrong: Finding What Actually Matters (Craig's Story)full<![CDATA[I Keep Doing What Everyone Else Wants: Finding Your True Creative Voice - Beatrix's Story]]>Do you spend all week waiting for Friday evening to finally do your real work? Not the emails, not the meetings - the work that actually matters to you?

Beatrix does. She waits all week for what she calls "mythological time" - when she can finally shift away from everyone else's demands and into genuine creative work. The problem: The to-do list could now fill seven days a week. Operational tasks have crowded out everything else.

From filmmaker to farmer to self-shooting director, Beatrix kept wearing different uniforms trying to fit what others expected. Until an Orthodox priest in Siberia looked her in the eyes and asked: "What's happened to your soul?" That question led her from London to Cornwall to the Outer Hebrides, and finally to making work on her own terms.

After four years of institutional funding rejection, she launched a crowdfunder and raised completion funding in four weeks - from people who actually wanted to see her work. Now she's self-distributing her documentary and working on a project that integrates everything she's been told to keep separate.

Listen if you:

  • Feel like your days define you instead of the other way around
  • Keep building things that look good but don't feel like yours
  • Wait all week for the moment you can finally do your real work
  • Have projects gathering dust because you couldn't get approval or didn't have the confidence to share them
  • Wonder why you keep shape-shifting to fit what others need
  • Feel like you've been tuning a radio dial your whole life trying to find your clear signal


Lessons from her story:

1. Mythological Time vs. To-Do List Time - You need to protect time for your real work with stubbornness. Otherwise the demands will eat everything.

2. The Priest's Question - Sometimes a stranger sees what you've been ignoring - that you've drifted so far from yourself you don't even notice anymore.

3. "I Didn't See There Was Any Choice" - Sometimes the bravest thing is admitting you can't keep going the way you've been going.

4. Four Years of Rejection, Four Weeks of Success - Gatekeepers saying "no" doesn't mean your work isn't good. It might just mean you're asking the wrong people.

5. Tuning the Radio Dial - Finding your true work isn't about choosing one thing. It's about integrating all the parts of yourself you've been told to keep separate.

Follow Beatrix: Website: trixpixmedia.com Social: @trixpixmedia

Coaching with Ben: If this resonates and you're ready to find your own clear signal, email ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk

Follow Reflective Rebels: @reflective_rebels (Instagram) | Ben Hickman (LinkedIn)

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ben-hickman/episodes/I-Keep-Doing-What-Everyone-Else-Wants-Finding-Your-True-Creative-Voice-Beatrixs-Story-e39566s779a0783-6104-4437-ae79-9f6b359e87c7Tue, 07 Oct 2025 06:00:00 GMT<p>Do you spend all week waiting for Friday evening to finally do your real work? Not the emails, not the meetings - the work that actually matters to you?</p><p>Beatrix does. She waits all week for what she calls "mythological time" - when she can finally shift away from everyone else's demands and into genuine creative work. The problem: The to-do list could now fill seven days a week. Operational tasks have crowded out everything else.</p><p>From filmmaker to farmer to self-shooting director, Beatrix kept wearing different uniforms trying to fit what others expected. Until an Orthodox priest in Siberia looked her in the eyes and asked: "What's happened to your soul?" That question led her from London to Cornwall to the Outer Hebrides, and finally to making work on her own terms.</p><p>After four years of institutional funding rejection, she launched a crowdfunder and raised completion funding in four weeks - from people who actually wanted to see her work. Now she's self-distributing her documentary and working on a project that integrates everything she's been told to keep separate.</p><p><b>Listen if you:</b></p><ul><li>Feel like your days define you instead of the other way around</li><li>Keep building things that look good but don't feel like yours</li><li>Wait all week for the moment you can finally do your real work</li><li>Have projects gathering dust because you couldn't get approval or didn't have the confidence to share them</li><li>Wonder why you keep shape-shifting to fit what others need</li><li>Feel like you've been tuning a radio dial your whole life trying to find your clear signal</li></ul><p><br /><b>Lessons from her story:</b></p><p><b>1. Mythological Time vs. To-Do List Time</b> - You need to protect time for your real work with stubbornness. Otherwise the demands will eat everything.</p><p><b>2. The Priest's Question</b> - Sometimes a stranger sees what you've been ignoring - that you've drifted so far from yourself you don't even notice anymore.</p><p><b>3. "I Didn't See There Was Any Choice"</b> - Sometimes the bravest thing is admitting you can't keep going the way you've been going.</p><p><b>4. Four Years of Rejection, Four Weeks of Success</b> - Gatekeepers saying "no" doesn't mean your work isn't good. It might just mean you're asking the wrong people.</p><p><b>5. Tuning the Radio Dial</b> - Finding your true work isn't about choosing one thing. It's about integrating all the parts of yourself you've been told to keep separate.</p><p></p><p>Follow Beatrix: Website: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="www.trixpixmedia.com" target="_blank">trixpixmedia.com</a> Social: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/trixpixmedia/" target="_blank">@trixpixmedia</a></p><p><b>Coaching with Ben:</b> If this resonates and you're ready to find your own clear signal, email <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="mailto:ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk" target="_blank">ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk</a></p><p><b>Follow Reflective Rebels:</b> <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/" target="_blank">@reflective_rebels</a> (Instagram) | <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/benhickman109/" target="_blank">Ben Hickman</a> (LinkedIn)</p>yes01:01:1416I Keep Doing What Everyone Else Wants: Finding Your True Creative Voice - Beatrix's Storyfull<![CDATA[Entrepreneur Identity Crisis: From Breakdown to Breakthrough (Ewa's Story)]]>What happens when life feels like a prison?

Ewa's story: From hiding her Polish identity to COVID breakdown to manifesting her way out of financial terror - and why she had to become "delusional" about money.

Listen if you:

  • Feel trapped by your own life
  • Struggle with money mindset and limiting beliefs
  • Hide parts of yourself to fit in
  • Wonder if there's more to life than what you're currently doing

Key takeaways:

  • Breakdown can lead to breakthrough - Ewa's pandemic crisis forced her to discover manifestation and rebuild her money mindset, proving that rock bottom can become your foundation.
  • Manifestation is practical mindset work - Not magical thinking but "training your mind to work for you, not against you." She had to become "delusional" about her goals while taking real action.
  • Freedom matters more than security - When micromanagement made her feel caged, Ewa chose uncertain self-employment over false security, even during a pandemic.
  • Childhood money stories can be rewritten - Growing up with scarcity beliefs, she consciously shifted from limiting herself to being open to unexpected income sources.
  • Authenticity requires refusing to stay small - After years of hiding her real self, Ewa now chooses to let her authentic self shine regardless of judgment.

Mentioned in This Episode:

Moving from Poland to UK at age 10

Google Translate conversations about ice cream

Early business ventures (jewelry, treehouse shop, Mars bars)

COVID-19 pandemic and self-employment leap

"You Are a Badass" and "You Are a Badass at Making Money" books by Jen Sincerro

TikTok viral success and social media growth

Spiritual awakening and manifestation discovery

Solo travel experiences

Lake District hiking and spontaneous adventures


If This Resonates...

Ready to refuse to stay small in your own life?

Ewa's story reminds us that sometimes the biggest breakdowns lead to the greatest breakthroughs. And that choosing freedom over security might be the scariest and best decision you ever make.

Join our email community for more honest stories about entrepreneurship, authenticity, and the courage to bet on yourself.

And if you're ready to explore your own rebellion against staying small - whether it's starting a business, changing careers, or just being more authentically you - I'd love to explore how coaching can support your journey. Contact me here.

Book links in this episode are affiliate links through Bookshop.org, which supports independent bookshops

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ben-hickman/episodes/Entrepreneur-Identity-Crisis-From-Breakdown-to-Breakthrough-Ewas-Story-e3788ijec419b2b-b14f-482e-8031-2190b6b814e9Tue, 26 Aug 2025 07:00:00 GMT<p>What happens when life feels like a prison?</p><p>Ewa's story: From hiding her Polish identity to COVID breakdown to manifesting her way out of financial terror - and why she had to become "delusional" about money.</p><p>Listen if you:</p><ul><li>Feel trapped by your own life</li><li>Struggle with money mindset and limiting beliefs</li><li>Hide parts of yourself to fit in</li><li>Wonder if there's more to life than what you're currently doing</li></ul><p></p><p><b>Key takeaways:</b></p><ul><li><b>Breakdown can lead to breakthrough</b> - Ewa's pandemic crisis forced her to discover manifestation and rebuild her money mindset, proving that rock bottom can become your foundation.</li><li><b>Manifestation is practical mindset work</b> - Not magical thinking but "training your mind to work for you, not against you." She had to become "delusional" about her goals while taking real action.</li><li><b>Freedom matters more than security</b> - When micromanagement made her feel caged, Ewa chose uncertain self-employment over false security, even during a pandemic.</li><li><b>Childhood money stories can be rewritten</b> - Growing up with scarcity beliefs, she consciously shifted from limiting herself to being open to unexpected income sources.</li><li><b>Authenticity requires refusing to stay small</b> - After years of hiding her real self, Ewa now chooses to let her authentic self shine regardless of judgment.<br /></li></ul><p><b>Mentioned in This Episode:</b></p><p>Moving from Poland to UK at age 10</p><p>Google Translate conversations about ice cream</p><p>Early business ventures (jewelry, treehouse shop, Mars bars)</p><p>COVID-19 pandemic and self-employment leap</p><p>"<a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://uk.bookshop.org/a/16251/9781473649521" target="_blank">You Are a Badass</a>" and "<a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://uk.bookshop.org/a/16251/9781473649569" target="_blank">You Are a Badass at Making Money</a>" books by Jen Sincerro</p><p>TikTok viral success and social media growth</p><p>Spiritual awakening and manifestation discovery</p><p>Solo travel experiences</p><p>Lake District hiking and spontaneous adventures</p><p><br /></p><p><b>If This Resonates...</b></p><p>Ready to refuse to stay small in your own life?</p><p>Ewa's story reminds us that sometimes the biggest breakdowns lead to the greatest breakthroughs. And that choosing freedom over security might be the scariest and best decision you ever make.</p><p><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter" target="_blank"><b>Join our email community </b></a>for more honest stories about entrepreneurship, authenticity, and the courage to bet on yourself.</p><p>And if you're ready to explore your own rebellion against staying small - whether it's starting a business, changing careers, or just being more authentically you - I'd love to explore how coaching can support your journey. Contact me <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.reflectiverebels.co.uk/contact" target="_blank">here</a>.</p><p></p><p>Book links in this episode are affiliate links through Bookshop.org, which supports independent bookshops</p>yes00:48:3613Entrepreneur Identity Crisis: From Breakdown to Breakthrough (Ewa's Story)full<![CDATA[Leaving the Life You ‘Should’ Live: Jim on Burnout, Reinvention, and Finding His Way Back to Himself]]>When the version of your life that looked “right” stops feeling like you, what happens next?

In this conversation, Jim talks honestly about the long arc of his working life: teaching in London, climbing the leadership ladder, reaching a point where the system no longer fed his soul, and the quiet realisation that something had to change.

We talk about identity, ambition, leaving a career that once made sense, and the strange relief of admitting “this isn’t who I want to be anymore.” And through it all, a clear thread runs: connection, conversation, nature, and the people we choose to share our lives with.

Jim reflects on optimism in dark moments, the pull of the fells, adventure, parenting, building something on your own terms, and what it means to feel like yourself again. Not in a big dramatic way, just in the very human way so many of us recognise.

If you’re standing in the messy middle of ambition, exhaustion and wanting a life that feels more yours, you might hear something in Jim’s story that steadies you.

Listen if you’re:

  • A business owner or leader wondering what “the next chapter” even is

  • Tired of spinning plates and pretending it’s all fine

  • In a career that once fit but doesn’t anymore

  • Questioning what success actually means

  • Craving connection, meaning and something real

Quotable moments:

  • “Sometimes it’s just moving on to the next chapter.”

  • “I felt divided – there was work me and there was real me.”

  • “What brings me joy is connection. It doesn’t need to be big stuff.”

  • “You can scream into those fells and the wind and they don’t give a shit.”

If this conversation lands with you, you’ll probably love the newsletter – stories, reflections and gentle rebellion for people who are done pretending everything is fine.

Join here: reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter

Connect: Instagram: @reflective_rebels

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ben-hickman/episodes/Leaving-the-Life-You-Should-Live-Jim-on-Burnout--Reinvention--and-Finding-His-Way-Back-to-Himself-e3bp5nga0d14a85-c5b7-407d-a31d-37d9c77010aeTue, 02 Dec 2025 15:12:52 GMT<p><strong>When the version of your life that looked “right” stops feeling like </strong><em><strong>you</strong></em><strong>, what happens next?</strong></p><p>In this conversation, Jim talks honestly about the long arc of his working life: teaching in London, climbing the leadership ladder, reaching a point where the system no longer fed his soul, and the quiet realisation that something had to change.</p><p>We talk about identity, ambition, leaving a career that once made sense, and the strange relief of admitting “this isn’t who I want to be anymore.” And through it all, a clear thread runs: connection, conversation, nature, and the people we choose to share our lives with.</p><p>Jim reflects on optimism in dark moments, the pull of the fells, adventure, parenting, building something on your own terms, and what it means to feel like yourself again. Not in a big dramatic way, just in the very human way so many of us recognise.</p><p>If you’re standing in the messy middle of ambition, exhaustion and wanting a life that feels more <em>yours</em>, you might hear something in Jim’s story that steadies you.</p><p><strong>Listen if you’re:</strong></p><ul><li><p>A business owner or leader wondering what “the next chapter” even is</p></li><li><p>Tired of spinning plates and pretending it’s all fine</p></li><li><p>In a career that once fit but doesn’t anymore</p></li><li><p>Questioning what success actually means</p></li><li><p>Craving connection, meaning and something real</p></li></ul><p><strong>Quotable moments:</strong></p><ul><li><p>“Sometimes it’s just moving on to the next chapter.”</p></li><li><p>“I felt divided – there was work me and there was real me.”</p></li><li><p>“What brings me joy is connection. It doesn’t need to be big stuff.”</p></li><li><p>“You can scream into those fells and the wind and they don’t give a shit.”</p></li></ul><p><strong>If this conversation lands with you</strong>, you’ll probably love the newsletter – stories, reflections and gentle rebellion for people who are done pretending everything is fine.<br /></p><p><strong>Join here:</strong><a href="https://www.reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank"> reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter</a></p><p><strong>Connect: </strong>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">@reflective_rebels</a></p><p></p> no00:56:10110Leaving the Life You ‘Should’ Live: Jim on Burnout, Reinvention, and Finding His Way Back to Himselffull<![CDATA[Get Your Hands Dirty (Why We Need to Feel Nature Again) - Ray's Story]]>Episode Summary

Ever felt like you're too comfortable? Too insulated from real experiences? Ray's story follows a man who's spent his life saying "yes" to random invitations, from "do you want to come climbing?" at a carnival to adventures that nearly killed him in Peru.

If you're feeling stuck in routines or wondering whether you should follow that thing that's been calling to you, Ray's story shows what's possible when you trust what grabs you physically and get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Five Lessons from Ray's Story

1. Say yes to throwaway conversations
The biggest opportunities often come disguised as casual suggestions. The magic isn't in the invitation - it's in saying yes when most people would say "maybe later."

2. Your body knows before your brain does
Ray felt those Welsh hills in his bones before he could articulate why. Sometimes you need to trust what grabs you physically, not what makes logical sense.

3. The humble ones change everything
Ray calls himself a "right wimp" while describing surviving at 19,000 feet. Often the humble ones shape other people's lives - they're too busy doing the work to notice how extraordinary they are.

4. Let people get messy
Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is stop protecting them from getting their hands dirty.

5. Keep going when you're broken
Ray was "wobbly" for years after a school attack but never stopped living. You don't have to be fixed to keep moving forward.

Key Quotes

"It's hard to describe - you know when something grabs you, when something kind of gets hold of you."

"Get out there and do something. Get your hands dirty. Bang your head on the wall. Smack your knuckles on the rock."

"You've just got to get out there and feel a bit of nature. Get away from all this comfort and material bollocks."

Connect with Reflective Rebels

If Ray's story stirred something in you - if you recognise that feeling of being too comfortable or wondering what you're missing by playing it safe - you're not alone.

Join the email community at reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter for honest insights about getting unstuck and first access to gatherings where you can connect with other people who are done pretending everything's fine.

And if you're ready to make changes that feel scary but right - drop me an email about coaching. Because sometimes we need support to say yes to the things that matter.

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ben-hickman/episodes/Get-Your-Hands-Dirty-Why-We-Need-to-Feel-Nature-Again---Rays-Story-e38i6r01de1d321-b5df-435c-b8ea-e237ef1908c3Tue, 23 Sep 2025 06:00:00 GMT<p><strong>Episode Summary</strong></p><p>Ever felt like you're too comfortable? Too insulated from real experiences? Ray's story follows a man who's spent his life saying "yes" to random invitations, from "do you want to come climbing?" at a carnival to adventures that nearly killed him in Peru.</p><p>If you're feeling stuck in routines or wondering whether you should follow that thing that's been calling to you, Ray's story shows what's possible when you trust what grabs you physically and get comfortable being uncomfortable.</p><p><strong>Five Lessons from Ray's Story</strong></p><p><strong>1. Say yes to throwaway conversations</strong><br />The biggest opportunities often come disguised as casual suggestions. The magic isn't in the invitation - it's in saying yes when most people would say "maybe later."</p><p><strong>2. Your body knows before your brain does</strong><br /> Ray felt those Welsh hills in his bones before he could articulate why. Sometimes you need to trust what grabs you physically, not what makes logical sense.</p><p><strong>3. The humble ones change everything</strong><br />Ray calls himself a "right wimp" while describing surviving at 19,000 feet. Often the humble ones shape other people's lives - they're too busy doing the work to notice how extraordinary they are.</p><p><strong>4. Let people get messy</strong><br />Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is stop protecting them from getting their hands dirty.</p><p><strong>5. Keep going when you're broken</strong><br /> Ray was "wobbly" for years after a school attack but never stopped living. You don't have to be fixed to keep moving forward.</p><p><strong>Key Quotes</strong></p><p>"It's hard to describe - you know when something grabs you, when something kind of gets hold of you."</p><p>"Get out there and do something. Get your hands dirty. Bang your head on the wall. Smack your knuckles on the rock."</p><p>"You've just got to get out there and feel a bit of nature. Get away from all this comfort and material bollocks."</p><p><strong>Connect with Reflective Rebels</strong></p><p>If Ray's story stirred something in you - if you recognise that feeling of being too comfortable or wondering what you're missing by playing it safe - you're not alone.</p><p>Join the email community at <a href="https://www.reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter</a> for honest insights about getting unstuck and first access to gatherings where you can connect with other people who are done pretending everything's fine.</p><p>And if you're ready to make changes that feel scary but right - drop me an email about coaching. Because sometimes we need support to say yes to the things that matter.</p> yes00:51:1615Get Your Hands Dirty (Why We Need to Feel Nature Again) - Ray's Storyfull<![CDATA[When the Metrics Stop Making Sense: Ricky on Purpose, Possibility & Letting Life Change Shape]]>If you have been feeling a quiet shift in yourself that you cannot quite name but you know is there, this conversation might give you some company.

Ricky talks about the moments that shaped him, the things he has let go of, and the parts of himself he is finding again. We go from childhood memories of being the tech obsessed “shiny buttons” kid, to DJing in dark clubs, to building a tech agency, to the grounding work he does as a Samaritans listening volunteer.

He also speaks about being born with one leg and what it meant to grow up with parents who backed him fully while keeping things real. From early limitations he had to face, to the quiet courage of choosing what felt true to him, Ricky shares how these experiences shaped how he moves through the world.

There is also an honest moment about how he and his partner made peace with the version of their life that does not include children right now. Not with regret, but with clarity and acceptance.

We also get into the shift he is feeling today. The old metrics of success like speed, productivity and constant growth no longer land. What feels more important now is community, meaning and a softer way of living.

Do you need a goal to take action, or can you follow what feels human and true?

Listen if you:

  • are questioning the old definitions of success
  • want conversations that sit in the grey
  • feel a shift but do not yet have words for it
  • prefer honesty over performance
  • are navigating changes in identity, purpose or energy

Key quotes

"I always loved the shiny buttons."

"At some point I realised being a fireman probably was not going to happen."

"There is something softer pulling me now."

"I have always liked helping people."

Ricky's SoundCloud

Listen here: Fake Blood, Sweat and Tears

Connect with Reflective Rebels

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ben-hickman/episodes/When-the-Metrics-Stop-Making-Sense-Ricky-on-Purpose--Possibility--Letting-Life-Change-Shape-e3b2q3d9c0de8a6-74ad-4f50-8034-1ce42964bf67Tue, 18 Nov 2025 07:00:00 GMT <p>If you have been feeling a quiet shift in yourself that you cannot quite name but you know is there, this conversation might give you some company.</p> <p>Ricky talks about the moments that shaped him, the things he has let go of, and the parts of himself he is finding again. We go from childhood memories of being the tech obsessed “shiny buttons” kid, to DJing in dark clubs, to building a tech agency, to the grounding work he does as a Samaritans listening volunteer.</p> <p>He also speaks about being born with one leg and what it meant to grow up with parents who backed him fully while keeping things real. From early limitations he had to face, to the quiet courage of choosing what felt true to him, Ricky shares how these experiences shaped how he moves through the world.</p> <p>There is also an honest moment about how he and his partner made peace with the version of their life that does not include children right now. Not with regret, but with clarity and acceptance.</p> <p>We also get into the shift he is feeling today. The old metrics of success like speed, productivity and constant growth no longer land. What feels more important now is community, meaning and a softer way of living.</p> <p><strong>Do you need a goal to take action, or can you follow what feels human and true?</strong></p> <h2>Listen if you:</h2> <ul> <li>are questioning the old definitions of success</li> <li>want conversations that sit in the grey</li> <li>feel a shift but do not yet have words for it</li> <li>prefer honesty over performance</li> <li>are navigating changes in identity, purpose or energy</li><p></p> </ul> <h2>Key quotes</h2> <p><strong>"I always loved the shiny buttons."</strong></p> <p><strong>"At some point I realised being a fireman probably was not going to happen."</strong></p> <p><strong>"There is something softer pulling me now."</strong></p> <p><strong>"I have always liked helping people."</strong></p> <p></p> <h2>Ricky's SoundCloud</h2> <p>Listen here: <a href="https://soundcloud.com/ricky-beaty/fake-blood-sweat-and-tears?si=4550c1fdc85d413eadc4bb796851dffd&amp;utm_source=clipboard&amp;utm_medium=text&amp;utm_campaign=social_sharing" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Fake Blood, Sweat and Tears</a> </p> <h2>Connect with Reflective Rebels</h2> <ul> <li><a href="https://reflectiverebels.co.uk" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Website</a></li> <li><a href="https://reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Newsletter</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Instagram @reflective_rebels</a></li> <li><a href="mailto:ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">Coaching enquiries</a></li> </ul> no00:55:0619When the Metrics Stop Making Sense: Ricky on Purpose, Possibility & Letting Life Change Shapefull<![CDATA[Business Owner Stroke Recovery: When Life Forces You to Slow Down - Patricia's Story]]>What do you do when your body says "enough" before you're ready?

Patricia's story: From working in finance in Hong Kong, to prison counseling, to stroke recovery - and why slowing down might not be the worst thing that could happen.

Listen if you:

  • Feel like you're always pushing through, never slowing down
  • Worry about what happens if you can't keep up the pace
  • Are dealing with health issues that have changed everything
  • Wonder if there's wisdom in being forced to rest

39 minutes about resilience, recovery, and finding meaning when life changes the rules.

Five Lessons from Patricia's Story

1. Your work identity isn't your worth Patricia discovered that the business impact she thought was crucial "actually didn't matter" and "mattered a lot to me" but not to others. Your value exists beyond your professional achievements.

2. Slow down or life will stop youPatricia was working "all hours God said" and "stressed to hell" until her stroke forced a complete halt. If you don't choose to slow down, it chooses you.

3. Adventure requires jumping without a netFrom Hong Kong to prison work to starting a business - Patricia's biggest life changes happened when they took leaps without guaranteed outcomes.

4. Real strength is knowing when to ask for helpPrison work taught Patricia that seeking help is "huge bravery, not failure" and that "backing down is a route you need to take."

5. Kindness is the pointAfter experiencing profound kindness during her recovery, Patricia realized "if you can extend a hand of kindness, it's incredible the amount of difference that can make."

Quotable moments:

"I still wake up every morning and think I'm still alive. I never used to do that but now I know what that feels like."

"Is anybody going to die? This is where we start the measuring from rather than going full-on panic stations."

"The things that are right in front of you that you just bypass... are actually the most important things, but you just walk by them as if they're nothing."

"If you can extend a hand of kindness, it's incredible the amount of difference that sometimes can make."

"Backing off is not a failure and backing down is a route that you need to take."

"I think it's very important for us all to be human and kind."

"There's a freedom in my heart when I hear the music and I hear the voice and that beautiful instrument that is the voice that just soars."

"Sometimes you've just got to present that really outlandish thought that this five foot woman's going to knock out this six foot two guy."


Resources Mentioned:

About the Host:Ben is a qualified coach and creator of Reflective Rebels, a community for people who want to live more authentically. Based in Carlisle, he's on a mission to spread joy because life is too short to be shit. Through honest conversations and practical support, Ben helps people figure out what matters to them and find the courage to make changes.

Connect with Patricia's story:If this conversation resonated with you, join the Reflective Rebels email community for honest insights, practical tools and first access to new gatherings. Or if you're ready for a change in your story, contact me about coaching.



]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ben-hickman/episodes/Business-Owner-Stroke-Recovery-When-Life-Forces-You-to-Slow-Down-Patricias-Story-e37uo3d6ac6c5ca-f83c-45a4-8c42-663369ad5e51Tue, 09 Sep 2025 06:00:00 GMT<p><b>What do you do when your body says "enough" before you're ready?</b></p><p>Patricia's story: From working in finance in Hong Kong, to prison counseling, to stroke recovery - and why slowing down might not be the worst thing that could happen.</p><p>Listen if you:</p><ul><li>Feel like you're always pushing through, never slowing down</li><li>Worry about what happens if you can't keep up the pace</li><li>Are dealing with health issues that have changed everything</li><li>Wonder if there's wisdom in being forced to rest<br /></li></ul><p>39 minutes about resilience, recovery, and finding meaning when life changes the rules.</p><p></p><p><b>Five Lessons from Patricia's Story</b></p><p><b>1. Your work identity isn't your worth </b>Patricia discovered that the business impact she thought was crucial "actually didn't matter" and "mattered a lot to me" but not to others. Your value exists beyond your professional achievements.</p><p><b>2. Slow down or life will stop you</b>Patricia was working "all hours God said" and "stressed to hell" until her stroke forced a complete halt. If you don't choose to slow down, it chooses you.</p><p><b>3. Adventure requires jumping without a net</b>From Hong Kong to prison work to starting a business - Patricia's biggest life changes happened when they took leaps without guaranteed outcomes.</p><p><b>4. Real strength is knowing when to ask for help</b>Prison work taught Patricia that seeking help is "huge bravery, not failure" and that "backing down is a route you need to take."</p><p><b>5. Kindness is the point</b>After experiencing profound kindness during her recovery, Patricia realized "if you can extend a hand of kindness, it's incredible the amount of difference that can make."<br /></p><p><b>Quotable moments:</b></p><p><i>"I still wake up every morning and think I'm still alive. I never used to do that but now I know what that feels like."</i></p><p><i>"Is anybody going to die? This is where we start the measuring from rather than going full-on panic stations."</i></p><p><i>"The things that are right in front of you that you just bypass... are actually the most important things, but you just walk by them as if they're nothing."</i></p><p><i>"If you can extend a hand of kindness, it's incredible the amount of difference that sometimes can make."</i></p><p><i>"Backing off is not a failure and backing down is a route that you need to take."</i></p><p><i>"I think it's very important for us all to be human and kind."</i></p><p><i>"There's a freedom in my heart when I hear the music and I hear the voice and that beautiful instrument that is the voice that just soars."</i></p><p><i>"Sometimes you've just got to present that really outlandish thought that this five foot woman's going to knock out this six foot two guy."</i></p><p><br /></p><p><b>Resources Mentioned:</b></p><ul><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://annancinema.co.uk/LonsdaleAnnan.dll/Home" target="_blank">Lonsdale Cinema</a>, Annan</li><li>Carlisle Hospital Stroke Unit</li></ul><p></p><p><b>About the Host:</b>Ben is a qualified coach and creator of Reflective Rebels, a community for people who want to live more authentically. Based in Carlisle, he's on a mission to spread joy because life is too short to be shit. Through honest conversations and practical support, Ben helps people figure out what matters to them and find the courage to make changes.</p><p></p><p><b>Connect with Patricia's story:</b>If this conversation resonated with you, join the Reflective Rebels <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter" target="_blank">email community</a> for honest insights, practical tools and first access to new gatherings. Or if you're ready for a change in your story, <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.reflectiverebels.co.uk/contact" target="_blank">contact me</a> about coaching.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>no00:42:0614Business Owner Stroke Recovery: When Life Forces You to Slow Down - Patricia's Storyfull