Last episode, Krystle shared the experiences that shaped her life. Today, Sunshine and Krystle takes those experiences and breaks down the manipulation, trauma responses, and patterns that Krystle didn't even realize were happening.

Welcome to Krystle’s Manipulation Whisperer episode.

We start with three little letters that can control so much of our lives without us even realizing it.

FOG. Fear. Obligation. Guilt.

Krystle opens up about how fear shaped her decisions long after the abuse ended, how obligation became a way of life, and how guilt kept her putting everyone else's needs before her own.

We revisit her relationships and uncover the manipulation hiding beneath the surface. Sexual coercion, triangulation, isolation, gaslighting, blame shifting, DARVO, future faking, intermittent reinforcement, and the slow erosion of her ability to trust herself.

We talk about what happens when someone manipulates you for so long that even when the evidence is sitting right in front of you, you still question what you know to be true.

And then there's the discard.

Sunshine uses an analogy from The Manipulation Whisperer about being thrown off a boat and desperately trying to get back on, never stopping to ask whether that boat was safe in the first place.

Krystle takes that analogy even further, explaining what it actually feels like when the person hurting you is also the person you believe can save you.

But we don't stop at identifying manipulation.

We talk about people-pleasing, loving someone's potential instead of who they actually are, the difference between empathy and self-abandonment, and why healing also means taking an honest look at our own behaviors.

Krystle shares how trauma affected her ability to handle conflict, why she sometimes shuts down when confronted, and how recognizing those responses has helped her begin changing them.

And we talk about the things that helped her find herself again. Meditation, movement, caring for her body, learning boundaries, laughter, and forgiveness.

Because recognizing what someone did to you is only part of healing.

The other part is learning how to trust yourself again.

And when we return to the question Krystle answered in her original episode, what would you tell yourself at your lowest point?, her answers bring everything full circle.

From a young girl who was afraid of everything to a woman who refuses to let that darkness consume her again.

Krystle calls herself a light.

Sunshine calls her a lighthouse.

And this episode shows us why.

Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, sexual coercion, emotional abuse, animal abuse, domestic violence, substance abuse, religious trauma, manipulation, and suicidal thoughts.

Want to know more about Krystle?

Follow Rooted & Wild on Facebook and Instagram.

https://www.facebook.com/share/16QPyrEQzQ5/?mibextid=wwXIfr

https://www.instagram.com/rootedandwild_krys?stkn=ZjV1bWZxY3R2eTRp

Want to learn more about manipulation?

Find Sunshine's book The Manipulation Whisperer, along with her other books, healing resources, and tools to help you recognize manipulation and rebuild trust in yourself.

or if you have a story you want to share on the podcast?

Visit SunshineFayeMedia.com

Sunshine Faye ☀️

For the first time on the podcast, Krystle tells hers.

We go back to childhood and talk about the experiences that shaped the way Krystle saw herself, the need to feel chosen, and how wounds we don't recognize when we're young can follow us into adulthood and relationships.

Krystle opens up about relationships, sexual coercion, sexual assault, addiction, infidelity, manipulation, religious trauma, shame, and the years she spent questioning herself instead of questioning what was happening to her.

We also talk about the darker parts of survival that aren't discussed enough, anger, revenge, losing pieces of yourself, and what it actually takes to find your way back.

But this is also a story about light.

About boundaries, forgiveness, healthy love, healing, and discovering that surviving the darkness doesn't mean you have to live there.

Krystle calls herself a light.

Sunshine calls her a lighthouse.

And when Krystle answers the question we ask every guest

what would you tell yourself at your lowest point?

well its exactly what she needed to hear at that time.

Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, sexual coercion, emotional abuse, substance abuse, religious trauma, and suicidal thoughts.

Want to know more about Krystle?
Follow Rooted & Wild on Facebook and Instagram.

https://www.facebook.com/share/16QPyrEQzQ5/?mibextid=wwXIfr

https://www.instagram.com/rootedandwild_krys?stkn=ZjV1bWZxY3R2eTRp

Want to share your story on the podcast or find Randin’s books, resources, and more?
Visit SunshineFayeMedia.com

Sunshine Faye ☀️

We sit down with Dave, creator of Is He Worthy?, to talk about dating, standards, red flags, relationship patterns, communication, non-negotiables, and how to take some of the emotion out of deciding who we allow into our lives.

Dave shares the heartbreak behind Is He Worthy? and how the end of his marriage and seeing the impact relationship failure had on his family, pushed him to create something designed to help people identify unhealthy or incompatible relationships before years are invested in them. 

We also break down the W.O.R.T.H.Y. assessment, why defining your standards before chemistry gets involved matters, and why your list of non-negotiables should continue to evolve as you do. 

We talk about why red flags can be so obvious from the outside but difficult to see when you’re the one emotionally invested, whether our past experiences can make us too quick to identify red flags, the difference between an apology and a pattern, passive-aggressive communication, and why sometimes the most important question isn’t whether someone wants you, but whether they actually match the life and relationship you want.

And when Dave answers the question we ask every guest 

what would you tell yourself at your lowest point? his answer is simple:

Never give up. Pasted text

IS HE WORTHY?

Website:
https://isheworthy.com

Dave’s website includes the Is He Worthy? book, relationship tools and assessments, resources, and links to his social channels. Pasted text

Sunshine Faye ☀️

At 21, she met a man who seemed to check every box she had been taught to look for. He was older, established, a returned missionary, educated, charismatic, and deeply involved in their faith. Within three weeks they were engaged. Six weeks later they were married.

And almost immediately, everything began to change.

What started with control, intimidation, broken belongings, and emotional abuse slowly escalated into physical violence, financial abuse, spiritual abuse, and fear that became part of everyday life for Kali and her children.

For nearly 20 years, Kali learned how to survive inside a life that looked completely different behind closed doors than it did from the outside.

Then one day, everything changed.

After witnessing an attack on her son and hearing the words that finally made something inside her snap, Kali made the decision she had spent years believing she couldn't make:

She was done.

But leaving wasn't the end of the abuse.

Kali shares what happened next — protective orders, stalking, financial control, the court system, hypervigilance, rebuilding her life, and learning who she was after spending nearly two decades surviving.

Today, Kali is a mother, professional, domestic violence advocate, survivor, and a woman who refuses to let what happened to her dictate what comes next.

⚠️ This episode discusses domestic violence, physical and emotional abuse, child abuse, spiritual abuse, strangulation, stalking, coercive control, financial abuse, and trauma.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or needs support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.

In this episode of Stories We Weren’t Supposed to Tell, we go back through Kali’s story and break down the manipulation tactics that kept her trapped in an abusive marriage for nearly 20 years.

We talk about how the relationship moved incredibly fast, the future faking and image management that helped build trust, and how small acts of control slowly escalated into intimidation, isolation, financial abuse, spiritual abuse, and violence.

We also break down how coercive control doesn’t always look like someone physically preventing you from leaving. Sometimes it looks like making relationships with family so exhausting that you stop reaching out. Sometimes it’s making you question your own judgment. Sometimes it’s using your beliefs, your children, your finances, or your own sense of responsibility against you.

Most importantly, we talk about how abuse can slowly expand what a person learns to survive. Every time Kali adapted to one level, another was added until things that once would have seemed unimaginable became her everyday life.

Because the cage isn’t always built overnight.

Sometimes the bars are added one at a time until you don’t even realize you’re living inside one.

And when we return to what Kali said she would tell herself at her lowest point, her story leaves us with something worth remembering:

There are brighter days ahead.

⚠️ This episode discusses domestic violence, physical and emotional abuse, child abuse, spiritual abuse, coercive control, financial abuse, intimidation, and manipulation.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or needs support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.

We sit down with Joe Tuia’ana, founder of the I Love You Bro Project, to talk about men’s mental health, suicide prevention, addiction, loneliness, connection, and what men actually need when they’re struggling.

Joe shares the moment that changed the direction of his life: an encounter with a man named Aaron on an overpass that began with four simple words — “I love you, bro.”

What happened that day eventually became the I Love You Bro Project and a growing network of support groups built to give men something many of them are missing: a safe place to show up, connect, be vulnerable, and realize they aren’t carrying everything alone.

We also talk about what Joe has learned from thousands of conversations and surveys with men, why trying to “fix” someone isn’t always helpful, how women can better support the men in their lives, and why simply being present can sometimes mean more than finding the perfect thing to say.

And when Joe answers the question we ask every guest — what would you tell yourself at your lowest point? — his answer brings the entire conversation full circle.

⚠️ This episode discusses suicide, suicidal ideation, addiction, alcoholism, trauma, and mental health struggles.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, call or text 988.

I LOVE YOU BRO PROJECT

Website:
https://www.iloveyoubroproject.org

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/iloveyoubroproject

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/iloveyoubroproject

YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@iloveyoubroPROJECT

Sunshine Faye ☀️

After nearly two years of being told she was the abusive one, Mercedes started questioning what she knew to be true.

One Google search changed everything.

She began reading about abuse expecting to recognize herself as the problem. Instead, she recognized him.

Mercedes contacted domestic violence resources, packed what she could, took her daughter, and left for a shelter.

But leaving didn’t mean the control ended.

Within hours, the man she had escaped found her at the shelter.

What followed were protective orders, threats, continued messages, changing stories, court battles, custody issues, financial consequences, and years of trying to create safety while still being legally connected to the person she escaped.

Mercedes also shares the reality survivors don’t always hear enough about:

Sometimes leaving is only the beginning.

Healing can mean learning that every message isn’t an emergency. It can mean setting boundaries you never thought you’d need. It can mean recognizing what your body remembers even when your mind knows you’re safe.

And sometimes healing means finally understanding:

You can have compassion for why someone became who they are without allowing their behavior to continue hurting you.

⚠️ Trigger Warning

This episode contains discussions of:

Domestic violence
Emotional & psychological abuse
Coercive control
Gaslighting & manipulation
Stalking and harassment
Threats of suicide
Protective orders
Custody and divorce
Child-related threats
Trauma and PTSD
Anxiety and mental health
Therapy and healing

Please listen at your own pace and take breaks if needed.

Disclaimer

Stories We Weren’t Supposed to Tell is a survivor-led podcast created to educate, raise awareness, and encourage healing. The experiences shared reflect one individual’s personal story and should not be used to diagnose yourself or others.

This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or legal advice. If you are experiencing abuse or are in crisis, please seek support from a qualified professional or local emergency services.

Episode Highlights

00:00 – Welcome Back & Part 1 Recap
05:00 – The moment Mercedes questioned her reality
08:00 – Realizing she might not be the abuser
12:00 – Calling domestic violence resources
15:00 – Packing the car & deciding to leave
18:00 – Arriving at the shelter
21:00 – He finds her
24:00 – Protective orders & continued contact
28:00 – The “stalker” story begins unraveling
34:00 – Saying “no” & watching the switch flip
39:00 – Court, protective orders & custody
45:00 – Years of continued control
50:00 – Divorce, parenting & protecting her daughter
55:00 – Trauma stored in the body
57:00 – What healing looks like now
1:00:41 – Final Thoughts

💛 If Mercedes’ story resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need to hear it.

Leaving an abusive relationship isn’t always the end of the story. Sometimes it’s the beginning of learning how to trust yourself again.

Next week: Krystle and Sunshine break Mercedes’ story down in The Manipulation Whisperer episode, identifying the manipulation tactics hiding underneath everything you just heard.

Connect with Sunshine Faye Media
🌐 sunshinefayemedia.com

Mercedes didn’t know she was being abused.

She believed she was the problem. She believed she was causing the chaos. And little by little, the reality being created around her became the only reality she knew.

What began as a relationship quickly became a world filled with accusations, mysterious text messages, a supposed stalker, paranormal experiences, unexplained packages, missing pets, threats, isolation, and constant accusations of cheating.

Mercedes also shares how religious expectations and not having healthy relationship examples made it even harder to recognize what was happening.

As the relationship progressed, the control intensified—psychological abuse, attempted strangulation, isolation from family and friends, threats involving her daughter, animal abuse, and a constant rewriting of reality that left her questioning herself instead of the person hurting her.

This is Part 1 of Mercedes’ story.

Sometimes abuse happens so slowly that you don’t realize your reality has changed until you no longer recognize yourself.

⚠️ Trigger Warning

This episode contains discussions of:

Domestic violence
Attempted strangulation
Emotional and psychological abuse
Coercive control
Gaslighting and manipulation
Religious trauma
Isolation
Stalking and harassment
Animal abuse
Pregnancy and birth
Threats involving a child
Depression and anxiety

Please listen at your own pace and take breaks if needed.

Disclaimer

Stories We Weren’t Supposed to Tell is a survivor-led podcast created to educate, raise awareness, and encourage healing. The experiences shared reflect one individual’s personal story and should not be used to diagnose yourself or others.

This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or legal advice. If you are experiencing abuse or are in crisis, please seek support from a qualified professional or local emergency services.

Episode Highlights

00:00 – Introduction & Trigger Warning
01:13 – Meet Mercedes
04:00 – Life before the relationship
07:00 – Meeting him & the first warning signs
12:00 – Reconnecting & ending her engagement
16:00 – The proposal & moving in together
19:00 – Strange messages & a changing reality
23:00 – Paranormal experiences, fear & sleep deprivation
27:00 – Marriage, COVID & escalating control
31:00 – When the violence became physical
35:00 – The “stalker,” random numbers & paranoia
40:00 – Isolation, gaslighting & questioning herself
45:00 – Pregnancy & psychological abuse
49:00 – Packages, fraud & explicit messages
53:00 – Missing pets & animal abuse
57:00 – Isolation, accusations & being tested
1:00:00 – Giving birth while essentially alone
1:04:44 – Final thoughts & what comes next

💛 If Mercedes’ story resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need to hear it. Every conversation helps break the silence surrounding abuse and manipulation.

Next week, Mercedes returns for Part 2 to share what happened when the reality she had been living in finally began to unravel—and what it took to escape.

Connect with Sunshine Faye Media
🌐 sunshinefayemedia.com

Now we’re breaking down what was actually happening underneath it.

In this episode of Stories We Weren’t Supposed to Tell, Krystle and Sunshine step into The Manipulation Whisperer to identify the tactics woven throughout Mercedes’ relationship and this one is unlike anything we’ve broken down before.

Because Mercedes wasn’t just being lied to.

Her reality was being manufactured.

Fake stalkers. Paranormal stories. Missing animals. Fake emergencies. Random messages. Mysterious packages. Accusations. Sleep deprivation. Isolation. Fear.

Individually, these things seemed confusing.

Together, they created an environment where Mercedes eventually stopped trusting her own perception and began relying on his version of reality instead.

We break down how love bombing and future faking pulled her in, how fear and exhaustion kept her confused, how triangulation created outside “proof,” how coercive control slowly removed her independence, and how intermittent reinforcement made the same person creating the fear feel like her only source of safety.

We also talk about DARVO, projection, financial control, trauma bonding, hoovering, isolation, communication control, intimidation, boundary testing, smear campaigns, and the nervous-system impact that can remain long after someone leaves.

Because manipulation doesn’t always convince you to believe one giant lie.

Sometimes it slowly teaches you to stop trusting your own truth.

⚠️ Trigger Warning

This episode discusses:

Domestic violence
Psychological & emotional abuse
Coercive control
Gaslighting & manipulation
Religious conditioning
Sleep deprivation
Stalking and surveillance
Animal abuse
Financial abuse
Threats and intimidation
Trauma bonding
Custody and protective orders

Please listen at your own pace and take breaks if needed.

Disclaimer

Stories We Weren’t Supposed to Tell is a survivor-led podcast created for education, awareness, and healing. We discuss manipulation tactics and behavioral patterns—not diagnoses.

This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or legal advice.

Manipulation Tactics We Break Down

01:08 – The Manufactured Reality
05:00 – Love Bombing & Future Faking
10:00 – Childhood Conditioning & Learning to Stay Quiet
15:00 – Early Red Flags & Boundary Testing
20:00 – Creating Fear Through a Manufactured Reality
25:00 – Sleep Deprivation, Paranoia & Hypervigilance
30:00 – Triangulation & Projection
34:00 – DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender
38:00 – Isolation & Coercive Control
42:00 – Financial & Communication Control
46:00 – Trauma Bonding & Intermittent Reinforcement
50:00 – Escape, Hoovering & Protective Orders
54:00 – Smear Campaigns & Continued Control
57:52 – Final Thoughts

💛 If you listened to Mercedes’ story and wondered, “How could someone possibly make another person believe all of this?”—this is the episode you need to hear.

The answer isn’t one manipulation tactic.

It’s what happens when dozens of them work together.

Once you learn to recognize the pattern, the manipulation begins to lose its power.

Next week: We introduce you to Callie and a story spanning decades of extreme abuse and survival.

Connect with Sunshine Faye Media
🌐 sunshinefayemedia.com

Together, we break down the psychological tactics that kept her trapped in a cycle of abuse, addiction, and self-doubt. We explore love bombing, future faking, gaslighting, blame shifting, projection, DARVO, JADE, FOG, triangulation, coercive control, financial exploitation, intermittent reinforcement, trauma bonding, emotional blackmail, hypervigilance, and the slow conditioning that made unhealthy feel normal.

One of the most powerful moments comes when Randin shares the advice she would give her younger self: "Don't listen to yourself." Not because her intuition was wrong, but because years of trauma, addiction, and manipulation had distorted the way she spoke to herself. That realization becomes a powerful conversation about gratitude, self-talk, rewiring the brain, and learning to replace shame with compassion.

This episode isn't about assigning blame or pretending survivors are perfect. It's about understanding how manipulation changes the way we think, why leaving is rarely as simple as walking away, and how accountability and healing can exist together.

Whether you're healing from an abusive relationship, struggling with the aftermath of addiction, or trying to understand why you stayed longer than you wanted to, we hope this conversation reminds you that you're not broken

you were manipulated.

And once you can recognize the pattern, you can begin to break it.

⚠️ Trigger Warning

This episode contains discussions of:

• Domestic violence
• Emotional abuse
• Manipulation tactics
• Gaslighting
• Trauma bonding
• Strangulation
• Addiction and recovery
• Infidelity
• Financial exploitation
• Coercive control
• Emotional blackmail
• Hypervigilance
• Mental health
• Grief and healing

Please listen at your own pace and take breaks if needed.

Disclaimer

Manipulation Whisper is an educational companion series within Stories We Weren't Supposed to Tell.

These episodes explore common manipulation tactics and trauma responses through real survivor stories to educate, raise awareness, and encourage healing.

The perspectives shared reflect our interpretation of the experiences described by our guest and are intended for educational purposes only. They should not be used to diagnose yourself or others and are not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or legal advice.

Episode Highlights

00:00 – Introduction & Why This Breakdown Matters
01:22 – Love Bombing & Future Faking
07:15 – Gaslighting, Blame Shifting & Projection
13:10 – DARVO, JADE & FOG
22:45 – Triangulation & Emotional Blackmail
30:10 – Financial Exploitation & Coercive Control
38:30 – Hypervigilance, Intermittent Reinforcement & Trauma Bonds
43:50 – Accountability vs. Abuse
46:00 – "Don't Listen to Yourself" & Rewiring Your Inner Voice

💛 If this episode helped put words to something you've experienced, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need to hear it. Every conversation helps survivors understand that what they experienced wasn't love

it was manipulation. And healing is always possible.

Connect with Sunshine Faye Media
🌐 https://sunshinefayemedia.com

and what it finally took to break free.

Together, we explore trauma bonding, coercive control, gaslighting, strangulation, addiction, pregnancy, the justice system, recovery, and the complicated grief that comes with losing someone who both loved and harmed you. Randin reflects on the choices she made, the shame she carried, and how healing allowed her to reclaim her life and become the woman she is today.

Whether you've experienced domestic violence, struggled with addiction, or are trying to understand why leaving an abusive relationship isn't as simple as walking away, we hope this conversation reminds you that healing is possible

and that your past does not define your future.

⚠️ Trigger Warning

This episode contains discussions of:

• Domestic violence
• Strangulation
• Trauma bonding
• Love bombing
• Emotional abuse
• Gaslighting and manipulation
• Addiction and substance use
• Pregnancy during abuse
• Incarceration
• Grief and homicide
• Mental health and recovery

Please listen at your own pace and take breaks if needed.

Disclaimer

Stories We Weren't Supposed to Tell is a survivor-led podcast created to educate, raise awareness, and encourage healing. The experiences shared in this episode reflect one individual's personal story and should not be used to diagnose yourself or others.

This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or legal advice. If you are experiencing abuse or are in crisis, please seek support from a qualified professional or local emergency services.

Episode Highlights

00:00 – Introduction & Trigger Warning
01:26 – Meet Randin
08:45 – Love bombing & the beginning of the relationship
20:30 – The first lies, manipulation & betrayal
34:30 – Violence begins to escalate
48:00 – Trauma bonds, addiction & staying stuck
1:05:00 – Pregnancy, strangulation & surviving abuse
1:25:00 – Recovery, rebuilding & becoming a mother
1:40:00 – Steven's death & complicated grief
1:50:00 – What healing looks like today

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need to hear it. Every conversation helps break the silence surrounding abuse, addiction, and healing.

Connect with Sunshine Faye Media
🌐 https://sunshinefayemedia.com

Gayleen opens up about domestic violence, gang culture, meth addiction, incarceration, and the difficult road to rebuilding her life. Along the way, she discusses the role self-worth played in her choices, the lessons learned through survival, and what ultimately helped her break free from the cycles that kept her stuck.

This conversation explores resilience, healing, recovery, and the courage it takes to start over. Gayleen's story is a powerful reminder that your past does not define your future, and that hope can exist even in life's darkest moments.

Takeaways

• The lasting impact of childhood trauma and not being believed

• How abuse and addiction can become intertwined

• The role self-worth plays in relationships and recovery

• Why healing requires both honesty and self-compassion

• Hope, resilience, and life after survival

Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:35 Gayleen's Story Begins

09:32 Finding Her Voice

16:07 Self-Worth and Survival

21:31 Early Signs of Abuse

28:21 Addiction and Escaping Reality

38:45 Recovery and Accountability

46:12 Leaving and Starting Over

52:30 Healing Through Motherhood

55:14 Life After Survival

In this episode of Stories We Weren't Supposed to Tell: Manipulation Whisper, we break down the psychological tactics that shaped Devin's childhood and followed him into adulthood. Together, we explore how financial control, moving the goalposts, parentification, silent treatment, triangulation, emotional neglect, unpredictable parenting, and chronic guilt quietly teach children to become caretakers, people-pleasers, and adults who struggle to believe they're enough.

One of the most powerful moments comes when Devin unknowingly reveals the wound he carried for yearsand how a simple two-word answer, "Good job," says more about healing than he probably realizes.

This episode isn't about blaming parents or assigning labels. It's about giving language to experiences many survivors have lived but never understood. Because once you can recognize the pattern, you can begin to break it.

Whether you're healing from childhood emotional abuse, trying to understand why you constantly put everyone else first, or supporting someone on their healing journey, this conversation offers insight, validation, and hope.

⚠️ Trigger Warning

This episode contains discussions of:

• Emotional abuse
• Childhood trauma
• Parentification
• Manipulation tactics
• Silent treatment
• Financial control
• Family dysfunction
• Emotional neglect
• Military deployment and family separation
• Hypervigilance
• Mental health and healing

Please listen at your own pace and take breaks if needed.

Disclaimer

Manipulation Whisper is an educational companion series within Stories We Weren't Supposed to Tell. The purpose of these episodes is to help listeners understand common manipulation tactics and trauma responses through real survivor stories.

This discussion reflects our interpretations of the experiences shared by our guest and is intended for education and awareness, not to diagnose individuals or replace professional medical, psychological, or legal advice.

Episode Highlights

00:00 – Introduction & Why This Breakdown Matters
01:10 – Why the Camaro Story Says So Much
04:30 – Why Survivors Minimize Their Own Abuse
08:45 – People-Pleasing, Caretaking & Feeling Like a Burden
13:20 – Financial Control & Moving the Goalposts
18:15 – Walking on Eggshells & Hypervigilance
22:40 – Parentification & Emotional Responsibility
27:15 – Confabulation, Wedding Chaos & Attention Seeking
31:30 – Isolation, Silent Treatment & Boundary Punishment
35:45 – The Role of Healthy Attachment
38:30 – "Maybe She Did..." The Aha Moment
40:10 – Why "Good Job" Was the Most Powerful Answer

💛 If this episode helped put words to something you've experienced, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it. Every conversation helps survivors understand that what they experienced wasn't "normal"—and that healing is possible.

Connect with Sunshine Faye Media
🌐 https://sunshinefayemedia.com

In this episode of Stories We Weren't Supposed to Tell, Devin shares what it was like growing up in a home where emotional control, silent treatment, guilt, and manipulation shaped his childhood. Looking back as an adult, he begins connecting the dots between those early experiences and the way they influenced his relationships, self-worth, boundaries, and parenting.

Together, we explore childhood conditioning, people-pleasing, hypervigilance, emotional neglect, therapy, meditation, and the courage it takes to break generational cycles. Devin's story is an honest reminder that healing isn't about pretending the past didn't happen—it's about understanding it so it no longer controls your future.

Whether you're healing from childhood trauma yourself or trying to better understand someone who is, we hope this conversation reminds you that you're not alone.

⚠️ Trigger Warning

This episode contains discussions of:

• Emotional abuse
• Childhood trauma
• Family dysfunction
• Manipulation
• Silent treatment
• Emotional neglect
• Divorce
• Alcoholism
• Military deployment and combat-related trauma
• Mental health
• Therapy and healing

Please listen at your own pace and take breaks if needed.

Disclaimer

Stories We Weren't Supposed to Tell is a survivor-led podcast created to educate, raise awareness, and encourage healing. The experiences shared in this episode reflect one individual's personal story and should not be used to diagnose yourself or others.

This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or legal advice. If you are experiencing abuse or are in crisis, please seek support from a qualified professional or local emergency services.

Episode Highlights

00:00 – Introduction & Trigger Warning
01:35 – Meet Devin
08:30 – Growing up in a controlling household
18:40 – Divorce, manipulation & childhood memories
28:10 – Being kicked out at fifteen
39:00 – Gifts, control & conditional love
50:30 – Learning to recognize manipulation
58:45 – Family dynamics & sister's wedding
1:07:30 – Silent treatment & walking on eggshells
1:15:00 – Therapy, meditation & healing
1:23:00 – Parenting differently & breaking generational cycles
1:30:00 – Relationships, boundaries & being alone
1:37:30 – What he'd tell his younger self
1:41:00 – Final thoughts & hope for survivors

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need to hear it. Every conversation helps break the silence surrounding emotional abuse and healing.

Connect with Sunshine Faye Media
🌐 https://sunshinefayemedia.com

Takeaways

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is an effective emotional survival toolkit for regulating emotions and setting boundaries.
• Manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, DARVO, and medical neglect have a profound impact on survivors, leading to self-doubt and trauma responses.

Chapters

• 00:00 Understanding Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
• 12:06 Impact of Gaslighting and Coercive Control
• 21:33 The Use of DARVO and Smear Campaigns
• 31:17 Medical Neglect and Self-Advocacy
• 43:04 Challenges with Boundaries and Autonomy

• • 50:24 Surviving and Overcoming Trauma

Takeaways

• Abuse often begins with boundary testing, grooming, and normalization, not physical violence.
• Love bombing, surveillance, minimization, and intimidation are powerful tools of control.
• Trauma bonds are strengthened through intermittent reinforcement and cycles of hope and disappointment.
• Future faking keeps survivors invested in potential rather than reality.
• Self-blame and low self-worth can become internalized long after the abuse ends.
• Being a fixer can keep people trapped in unhealthy relationships for years.
• Boundaries are essential for healing, even when they feel uncomfortable.
• Healing is not linear; it requires self-awareness, honesty, and choosing yourself repeatedly.

Chapters

00:00 The Manipulation Hidden in Plain Sight
08:12 Grooming, Boundary Testing, and Love Bombing
14:27 Surveillance, Control, and Walking on Eggshells
19:48 Minimization, Intimidation, and Sexual Coercion
25:36 Trauma Bonds and Intermittent Reinforcement
31:18 Future Faking and False Hope
35:42 The Fixer Trap and Self-Sacrifice
42:15 Self-Blame, Worthiness, and Internalized Messages
48:51 Boundaries, Healing, and Choosing Yourself
55:24 Get Up: The Turning Point Toward Recovery

Takeaways

• Recognizing manipulation and coercion in relationships
• The importance of self-love, healing, and understanding self-worth

Chapters

• 00:00 Recognizing Manipulation
• 11:53 Boundary Erosion and Coercion
• 22:01 Self-Love and Healing
• 28:29 Conditioning and Gaslighting
• 34:29 Fear-Based Control and Intimidation
• 40:43 Physical Control and Intimidation
• 48:22 Survival Planning and Healing
• 55:21 Clarity and Self-Realization

This episode looks at the ways early trauma can shape a survivor’s nervous system, how coercion can hide inside relationships, why consent is not real when fear and punishment are involved, and how survivors often carry shame that never belonged to them.

Sadie’s story is heavy, honest, and deeply human. It is not just about what happened to her. It is about what she survived, what she learned, and how she began rebuilding a life where safety, love, and truth could finally exist.

Content warning: This episode discusses sexual assault, coercive control, domestic abuse, childhood trauma, grief, dissociation, CPTSD, postpartum depression, hypersexuality, and suicidal thoughts. Please listen with care.

Chapters

00:00 Sadie’s anonymous story begins

03:20 High school and early relationship dynamics

08:30 Early trauma and survival patterns

12:00 How trauma shaped her relationship with her body

16:20 Marriage, pain, and pressure

22:00 Coercion and survival sex

29:00 Emotional punishment and control

34:30 Carrying the marriage alone

39:00 Power shifts and escalating behavior

43:00 Dissociation and emotional survival

49:30 Why this story was hard to tell

This episode dives into the trauma responses many survivors judge themselves for CPTSD, hypersexuality, trauma bonding, nervous system addiction, and the chemical withdrawal that happens when you finally go no contact.

They unpack why survivors often go back, why sex can become wired into safety, and why healing can feel physically unbearable long after the relationship ends.

Then they shift into the manipulation tactics used throughout Sadie’s story: sexual coercion, medical gaslighting, coercive control, weaponized incompetence, covert narcissism, DARVO, victim blaming, future faking, secrecy, and exploitation disguised as rescue.

This is not just a discussion about Sadie.

This is an educational breakdown for every survivor who has ever looked back at their own coping mechanisms and asked, why did I do that?

Because sometimes the body survives long before the mind understands what happened.

Trigger Warning: sexual assault, domestic violence, coercive control, trauma responses, narcissistic abuse, trauma bonds, childhood sexual trauma.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Intro + Why Sadie’s story needed a deeper breakdown
01:23 CPTSD and living in a body trained for danger
04:00 Hypersexuality after abuse and sex as a trauma response
08:30 Trauma bonding, nervous system addiction, and chemical attachment
14:45 No contact withdrawal and why survivors go back
21:40 Practical healing tools: breath work, journaling, shadow work, somatics
31:10 Sexual coercion, fawning, and compliance as survival
35:20 Medical gaslighting, coercive control, and weaponized incompetence
40:15 Covert narcissism, public charm, and isolation through responsibility
44:10 Justin: predatory rescue, boundary testing, blackout exploitation, DARVO
48:45 Victim blaming, future faking, guilt, and forced reporting
51:10 Childhood trauma roots + piecing memory together
52:38 Closing thoughts

Takeaways

• Childhood trauma and abuse
• Impact of family dynamics Resilience
• Impact of Childhood Trauma

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction and Support Resources
• 09:34 Challenges and Struggles in Iowa
• 16:15 Unsafe Home Environment and Family Dynamics
• 22:10 Lack of Disclosure and State Intervention
• 31:25 Support and Coping Mechanisms
• 40:30 Childhood Memories and Trauma
• 52:23 Impact of Mother's Addiction
• 01:05:32 Healing and Recovery
• 01:16:56 Parenting and Reflection

Takeaways

• Surviving abuse and manipulation
• The power of self-healing

Chapters

00:00 Maya's Story: A Mother's Struggle

01:57 Navigating Relationships: The Tinder Experience

04:39 Red Flags and Manipulation

06:44 Escalation of Control and Abuse

09:59 The Cycle of Abuse: Understanding the Dynamics

12:32 Physical Violence and Its Impact

15:10 Isolation and the Illusion of Control

16:41 Resources and Support for Victims

18:27 Conclusion and Reflection

25:12 Breaking the Cycle of Abuse

30:25 Finding Clarity and Strength in Adversity

32:03 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing

39:44 Embracing Worth and Personal Power

42:55 Understanding the Gravity of Domestic Violence

44:27 Resources and Support for Survivors

Because what Amber experienced wasn’t just a difficult childhood. It wasn’t just family drama.

It was manipulation.

The kind that starts so young you don’t even realize it’s happening the kind that teaches you fear instead of safety, confusion instead of clarity, and survival instead of self-worth.

In this episode of Stories We Weren’t Supposed to Tell, we break down the patterns behind Amber’s story:
fear-based control, emotional invalidation, parentification, gaslighting, triangulation, smear campaigns, and trauma bonding.

This isn’t about retelling her story.
It’s about helping you see it clearly.

Because once you can name it, you can stop blaming yourself for it and start choosing something different.

Content Warning: This episode includes discussions of childhood abuse, family trauma, and psychological manipulation. Please listen at your own pace.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to be perfect to be safe, like your emotions were “too much,” or like you’ve been questioning your own reality this episode will help you understand why.

Takeaways

• Fear-based control teaches obedience, not safety
• Emotional invalidation disconnects you from yourself
• Parentification keeps children emotionally responsible for adults
• Gaslighting distorts memory and reality
• Triangulation and smear campaigns are control tactics
• Perfectionism is often a trauma response
• Trauma bonding is created through push-pull cycles
• Awareness is the first step to breaking the pattern

Chapters

00:00 – Intro & Breakdown Purpose
01:30 – Initial Reactions
03:30 – Fear-Based Control
07:30 – Early Conditioning & Triggers
10:30 – Emotional Invalidation
15:30 – Boundaries & Anxiety
18:30 – Parentification
22:30 – Dependency & Control
26:00 – Gaslighting & Memory
30:00 – Perfectionism as Survival
33:00 – Body Image & Self-Worth
36:00 – Triangulation
38:30 – Smear Campaigns
40:30 – CPS & Escalation
42:30 – Trauma Bonding
43:09 – Final Truth & Reframe
44:30 – Resources & Closing

There are moments in life that split everything into before and after. This is one of them.

In this opening episode of Stories We Weren’t Supposed to Tell, Randin (Sunshine Faye) and Krystle share the raw truth behind why this podcast exists and the lived experiences that led them here.

From childhood intuition being silenced, to toxic relationships, abuse, anxiety, and losing connection with themselves… both women walk you through the turning points that forced them to face their truth. The moments where survival meant going quiet and the moments where healing began by finally speaking up.

This episode isn’t just an introduction.

It’s a reminder:

• You’re not crazy.

• You’re not weak.

• And you are not alone.

Because abuse thrives in silence… but healing begins the moment someone says, “that happened to me too.”

This is a space where truth is spoken, patterns are exposed, and survivors begin to take their power back…

together.

Welcome to the stories we weren’t supposed to tell.

Takeaways

• The impact of religious upbringing on intuition
• The healing power of truth and community

Chapters

• 00:00 The Voice of Intuition
• 08:37 Disconnecting from Intuition and Self
• 14:13 Dependency on Medications and Loss of Inner Voice
• 22:27 Early Sensitivity and Intuitive Experiences
• 28:15 The Healing Power of Truth and Community

Takeaways

• Recognizing the signs of abuse is crucial for reclaiming empowerment and self-protection.
• Understanding the impact of abuse on the victim's sense of safety and self-trust is essential for supporting survivors.

Chapters

• 00:00 The Start of Abuse
• 14:38 Intermittent Reinforcement and Gaslighting
• 21:24 Coercive Control
• 27:39 Sexual Coercion and Violence
• 32:40 Victim Blaming and Shame
• 41:38 Hoovering and Manipulation through Crisis
• 50:36 Hoovering and Manipulation through Crisis
• 56:49 Empowerment and Self-Protection

Takeaways

• Generational trauma impact
• Surviving childhood trauma
• Physical and mental health effects of trauma Advocating for oneself is crucial
• Understanding mental health abbreviations

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction and Personal Story
• 10:02 Impact of Trauma on Teenage Years
• 25:03 Coping Mechanisms and Misunderstandings
• 32:04 Physical and Mental Health Effects
• 39:08 Belief and Relief
• 45:23 Life Changes and Family Dynamics
• 54:23 Healing and Self-Discovery
• 01:00:27 Generational Trauma and Understanding
• 01:06:48 Personal Growth and Confidence
• 01:12:24 Life Transformation and Spirituality

Takeaways

• Predatory behavior targets vulnerable single mothers
• Grooming process involves gifts, appearance, and positioning as a stable adult
• Survivor's journey involves acknowledging the bad and finding closure
• Healing involves training the nervous system to relax and allowing something different
• Ending on a positive note can change one's demeanor

Chapters

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Context Setting

01:51 Targeting Vulnerable Individuals

04:25 Grooming and Manipulation Techniques

09:23 The Impact of Neglect and Abuse

13:34 Survival Mode and Coping Mechanisms

18:48 Family Dynamics and Enabling Behaviors

23:26 Healing and Moving Forward

26:58 Understanding Abuse and Its Impact

28:57 Resilience and Healing in the Face of Trauma

Because what she went through wasn’t random.
It wasn’t “just a toxic relationship.”

It was a pattern.

In this episode of Stories We Weren’t Supposed to Tell, we break down the manipulation behind Ashley’s story the tactics that kept her confused, attached, and questioning her own reality even after abuse escalated.

We’re talking about:

• Love bombing and instant intensity
• Boundary testing from the very beginning
• Gaslighting and memory distortion
• DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender)
• Reactive abuse
• Trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement
• Isolation and control
• Slow erosion of boundaries

This episode shows how abuse doesn’t just happen—it’s built.

Slowly. Intentionally. Strategically.

Because once you understand the pattern, you stop blaming yourself for staying…
and start seeing exactly what was done to you.

Content Warning: This episode includes discussions of domestic violence, strangulation, coercive control, and psychological manipulation. Please listen at your own pace.

If you’ve ever found yourself asking:
“Was it really that bad?”
“Did I overreact?”
“Why couldn’t I just leave?”

This episode will answer that.

Takeaways

• Love bombing creates fast emotional attachment and lowers defenses
• Early red flags are often disguised as “intensity” or “connection”
• Gaslighting works by planting small doubts over time
• DARVO flips accountability onto the victim
• Reactive abuse is provoked, then used against you
• Trauma bonds are built through cycles of harm and affection
• Boundaries are rarely broken all at once—they’re worn down slowly
• Isolation often increases after outside support pushes back
• Financial and emotional entanglement make leaving harder
• Awareness is the moment the cycle starts to break

Chapters

00:00 – Intro & Breakdown Setup
Why this episode matters

01:00 – Love Bombing & Instant Bond
Fast emotional attachment and intensity

03:00 – First Red Flag & Boundary Test
Overreaction to normal dating behavior

06:00 – Questioning Herself Early
Self-doubt begins immediately

08:00 – Fast Commitment & Future Faking
Rushed relationship and proposal

11:00 – First Physical Incident
Minimizing early violence

13:00 – Gaslighting & Reality Distortion
Rewriting events and planting doubt

16:00 – Cognitive Dissonance
Questioning every thought and reaction

18:30 – DARVO Explained
Turning victim into offender

21:00 – Reactive Abuse
Provoking reaction, then using it as proof

23:00 – Trauma Bonding Cycle
Abuse → apology → affection → repeat

25:00 – Isolation & Family Conflict
Pulling her away from support

27:00 – Boundary Erosion
Slowly pushing limits over time

29:00 – Financial Control & Entanglement
Business ties and divorce pressure

30:46 – Final Reflection & Healing
Awareness, growth, and breaking free

Takeaways

• Early signs of manipulation and control can be subtle and may escalate over time.
• Abusers often use threats, violence, and control to maintain power over their victims. Resilience in the face of trauma
• The importance of self-reflection and healing

Chapters

• 00:00 The Early Days
• 08:01 Escalation of Abuse
• 18:02 Living with the Abuser
• 22:52 Threats and Escalation
• 31:10 Animal Abuse
• 38:33 Stalking and Home Invasion
• 46:55 Assault and Trauma
• 53:29 Legal Proceedings and Protective Order
• 01:08:43 Healing and Self-Reflection

Amber shares what it’s like to grow up in a home where fear, perfection, and control were disguised as love.

From being told she was the product of rape
to surviving abuse, emotional manipulation, and identity erasure
to uncovering the truth about her mother’s calculated control tactics

Amber’s story exposes what happens when the person meant to protect you becomes the one manipulating the narrative.

This episode dives into:

• Childhood trauma and survival patterns
• The long-term impact of emotional and psychological abuse
• How manipulation hides inside family dynamics
• What it takes to break the cycle and choose yourself

This isn’t just a story about abuse.
It’s a story about recognition, boundaries, and reclaiming your life.

Content Warning: This episode includes discussions of childhood abuse, sexual abuse, coercive control, emotional manipulation, and false allegations. Please listen at your own pace.

If you’ve ever questioned your reality, minimized your pain, or struggled to set boundaries with family…
this episode will hit.

Takeaways

• Abuse doesn’t always look like violence it often looks like control, fear, and perfectionism.
• You can be manipulated your entire life and not recognize it until adulthood.
• Family roles (caretaker, peacekeeper, “perfect child”) are survival strategies not personality traits.
• Narcissistic abuse can escalate into extreme control tactics, including smear campaigns and false reports.
• Gaslighting inside families can distort your memory and your sense of reality.
• Setting boundaries will feel wrong at first but that doesn’t mean they are.
• Healing begins when you recognize: “This wasn’t normal.”
• Breaking the cycle means choosing your children and yourself over dysfunction.
• You can come from chaos and still create safety.

Chapters

00:00 – Introduction & Content Warning
Overview of Amber’s story and themes of control, trauma, and manipulation

01:00 – Chaotic Childhood & Early Abuse
Unstable upbringing, abusive father figure, and early trauma

04:30 – Identity Shock: “Unwanted” Narrative
Learning how she was conceived and the emotional impact

08:30 – Escalation of Abuse & Trauma Responses
Violence, fear-based control, and emotional shutdown

15:00 – Survival Through Perfection
Fear, punishment, and becoming “perfect” to stay safe

20:00 – Becoming the Caregiver
Taking on emotional responsibility for her mother

25:00 – The First Safe Parent
Her stepfather and finally feeling seen

30:00 – Leaving Home & Early Independence
Breaking away while manipulation continues

34:00 – Wedding Control & Narcissistic Traits
Control, criticism, and “Momzilla” behavior

38:00 – Smear Campaigns & Sabotage
False rumors and attempts to destroy her relationship

43:00 – CPS Calls & Extreme Manipulation
False allegations, investigations, and truth revealed

48:00 – Cutting Contact & Breaking the Cycle
Setting boundaries and walking away

50:30 – Recognizing Manipulation in Real Time
Finally seeing the patterns clearly

52:30 – Healing & Parenting Differently
Choosing to break generational cycles

53:30 – Message to Her Younger Self
Hope, strength, and self-worth

54:20 – Closing Message & Resources
Support, validation, and encouragement to seek help

Takeaways

• Overcoming trauma and finding strength
• The impact of past experiences on present choices Trauma bonds and addiction can trap individuals in abusive relationships.
• The impact of childhood abuse can influence acceptance of abuse in adulthood.

Chapters

• 00:00 First Experience of Physical Abuse
• 37:01 Forced Drug Use and Abuse
• 42:50 Violence and Police Involvement
• 49:17 Pivotal Moment and Escape
• 55:03 Support and Healing
• 01:03:44 Choosing Self-Care

Takeaways

• Emotional attachment and conditioning play a significant role in maintaining control over the victim.
• Isolation, financial control, and substance abuse are key tools used to perpetuate the cycle of abuse.

Chapters

• 00:00 The Manipulation Whisperer
• 08:48 Isolation and Financial Control
• 15:32 Conditioning and Learned Entrapment
• 23:12 Substance Use and Tracking
• 29:06 Normalization of Abuse

Sit with that.

In this episode Ashley shares what it’s like to survive a relationship that escalated from intense connection… to control… to violence that nearly turned deadly.

What started as deep conversation and attraction quickly turned into:

• verbal abuse within the first week
• manipulation and blame shifting
• physical violence
• gaslighting that made her question her own reality
• and a cycle of control that only got worse over time

This episode exposes how dangerous relationships don’t start out looking dangerous. They often look intelligent, charming, and safe until they’re not.

Ashley’s story is about surviving strangulation, coercive control, and emotional abuse… and the moment she realized she would not become another statistic.

Content Warning: This episode includes discussions of domestic violence, strangulation, coercive control, and emotional abuse. Please listen at your own pace.

If you’ve ever questioned your instincts, second-guessed your reality, or stayed hoping someone would change this episode is for you.

Takeaways

• Strangulation is one of the strongest predictors of homicide in abusive relationships
• Abuse often starts fast, intense, and emotionally addictive
• Early red flags are often minimized or rationalized
• Gaslighting can make you question your memory and reality
• Reactive abuse is used to flip the narrative onto the victim
• Trauma bonding keeps you emotionally attached even after harm
• Abusers escalate when control starts slipping
• Strength and empathy can be used against you
• Protecting them often feels more natural than protecting yourself
• Walking away is not weakness it’s survival

Chapters

00:00 – Intro & Strangulation Statistic
Why this story is life-or-death important

01:10 – The Initial Attraction
Intelligence, depth, and early connection

02:30 – First Red Flag (Week One)
Immediate verbal abuse and control

05:20 – The “Good Phase”
Love bombing and short-term stability

06:30 – First Physical Violence
Shoved into wall after birthday conflict

08:30 – Gaslighting Begins
Rewriting reality and self-doubt

09:10 – Fast Engagement & Control
Rushed commitment and blame shifting

12:00 – Wedding Day Red Flags
Control, resentment, and emotional withdrawal

15:00 – Business & Alcohol Issues
Control mixed with instability

18:00 – Escalation & Destruction of Property
Aggression and power struggles

21:00 – Push-Pull & Trauma Bonding
Cycles of abuse and affection

25:00 – The Strangulation Incident
Life-threatening violence and survival moment

30:00 – Aftermath & Police Involvement
Calling for help and hospital visit

37:00 – Protective Order & Court
Fear, love, and conflicting emotions

42:00 – Breaking the Order & Pull Back In
Manipulation and false change

45:00 – Isolation & Control Over Time
Separation from family and support

50:00 – Final Breaking Point (Children Involved)
When abuse extended to her child

55:00 – Divorce & Escaping Control
Leaving despite pressure and manipulation

57:00 – Reflection & Lessons Learned
Boundaries, intuition, and growth

1:01:26 – Final Message
“You’re not so strong that you can make him better.”