That gap between what actually happened and the meaning you assigned it? That's where most of our suffering lives. And it might be costing you some of the most important relationships in your life.

In this episode, Pam Rader and Erin Payne unpack a powerful yogic teaching — the Snake and the Rope — and explore what it really means to make decisions when you're flooded with fear, anxiety, or self-protection.

What you'll discover in this episode:

🐍 The Snake and the Rope parable — why your mind mistakes harmless "ropes" for dangerous "snakes," and how that one error drives reactive decisions that damage relationships

🌑 What "dusk" really means — the flooded, in-between state where your nervous system is predicting danger from the past and projecting it onto the future — and why this is the worst time to decide anything

🧠 The sophistication trap — how the smarter you are, the more convincing your snake story becomes (and why that's dangerous)

💡 The God Space — the gap between sensation and verdict where your freedom lives and where you get to choose the meaning you assign

🔦 3 practical tools to move from dusk into the light:

• Check your light level: Am I flooded right now? Can I even trust this story?

• Name the storm: This is my nervous system — not a verdict
• Ask "What else could this mean?" — and let it be a hypothesis, not a conclusion

Pam shares a raw, personal story about navigating relationship uncertainty and a returning PTSD response — and how naming the experience (instead of acting on it) changed everything. Erin shares what happened when she almost ended a friendship over a conversation that was actually an act of love.

The bottom line: Your mind doesn't experience events — it experiences its interpretation of events. Patience isn't a cliché. It's a nervous system skill.

As Pam's grandpa used to say: "You can have a situation and get yourself bent out of shape — but then you have the same situation AND you're bent out of shape."

Don't make decisions in the dusk.

Resources & Links: 🌐 Pam: pamrader.com | 📲 @pamrader 🌐 Erin: erinpayne.ca | 📲 @erin_payne 📺 YouTube: @coachpamrader

✨ Become the Catalyst — Pam's 6-month coaching certification, launching Fall 2026 → pamrader.com 🏕️ Grit & Grace Retreat — Join the waitlist → pamrader.com/gritandgrace

If this episode helped you see something differently, share it with someone who's stuck in the dusk right now. And if you love the show, a rating or review helps more people find these conversations. 🙏

Have you ever caught yourself leading with your hardest chapters — the divorce, the breakdown, the business that fell apart — as proof you've earned the right to be taken seriously?

In this episode, Pam Rader and embodiment coach Erin Payne pull apart a pattern that shows up in even the most self-aware people: the story we keep telling about ourselves that masquerades as inspiration but quietly keeps us tethered to the past.

Pam shares the moment her partner challenged her: Why do you keep leading with everything you've overcome? What followed was an uncomfortable and liberating discovery — beneath the desire to serve was a quiet thread of victimhood, a blind spot around self-worth dressed up as street credibility. Erin opens up about her own version: the "enlightenment loop" — doing so much healing work that the work itself becomes the identity.

In this episode:

• How to tell the difference between victimhood and inspiration
• The "managed survivor" vs the "conscious creator" — and how to shift
• Mooji's invitation: stop telling your story for one minute and see what remains
• How your body knows whether a story is healing you or holding you back
• Borrowing belief when you don't yet have enough of your own

Work with Pam or Erin: https://pamrader.com https://erinpayne.ca

Connect with us: Instagram: instagram.com/pamrader | instagram.com/erin_payne YouTube: youtube.com/@coachpamrader

If this episode stirred something in you, share it with someone who needs permission to set their story down. A 30-second rating helps new listeners find us — thank you! 💛

Keywords: you are not your story, identity shift, letting go of the past, victim mentality, personal reinvention, conscious creator, self-worth, trauma identity, managed survivor, embodiment coach, Mooji, personal growth podcast, Grit and Grace podcast

What if the thing quietly killing your relationship isn't the big blowouts — but the small patterns you've never even noticed?

In this episode of Grit and Grace, Pam and Erin sit down with Aftin Jolly, Registered Clinical Counselor and Level 2 Gottman-trained couples therapist based in Kelowna, BC. Aftin brings clinical expertise and raw honesty to one of our most requested topics — relationships. The good, the messy, and the "are we actually going to make it" moments.

THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF RELATIONSHIP DESTRUCTION Gottman research identifies four patterns that predict relationship breakdown: — Contempt: The #1 predictor of failure. It's the look that says "I'm better than you." — Criticism: How "helpful" comments quietly erode your partner's self-worth — Defensiveness: Why avoiding accountability destroys connection long-term — Stonewalling: The difference between needing to regulate and using silence as punishment

WHAT WE ALSO COVER — The Emotional Bank Account: why one negative interaction takes 20 positives to balance — Bids for attention and how they build or drain your relationship daily — Why emotional intimacy erodes before physical intimacy — and what to do — The safety vs. desire teeter-totter (Esther Perel's framework) — Why no conflict is not the same as happiness — The weekly check-in question that keeps couples connected before crisis

WORK WITH PAM

If this episode stirred something up and you're ready to stop waiting for things to get better on their own, Pam offers 1:1 coaching to help you move toward more freedom and fulfillment — in your relationships and your life. 👉 pamrader.com

WORK WITH ERIN Erin works 1:1 with clients who are ready to do the deeper work. If her voice resonated with you today, connect with her at www.erinpayne,ca or connect with her on Instagram. 👉 @epayne

BECOME THE CATALYST — FALL 2026 Ready to turn your own transformation into a purpose-driven career? Become the Catalyst is Pam's 6-month intensive coaching certification program built for people who are done playing small and ready to guide others toward real freedom. Enrollment opens Fall 2026. 👉 pamrader.com

GRIT AND GRACE RETREAT — FALL 2026 Something special is coming and you don't want to miss it. Get on the waitlist for the Grit and Grace Fall Retreat and be first to know when doors open. 👉 pamrader.com/gritandgrace

ABOUT AFTIN JOLLY Registered Clinical Counselor | Level 2 Gottman Couples Therapist | Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator Based in Kelowna, BC | Available via Zoom aftinjollycounseling.com | @aftinjollycounseling

RESOURCES MENTIONED The Gottman Institute — gottman.com Esther Perel — estherperel.com Terry Real — relationallife.com Byron Katie — thework.com

If this episode helped you see your relationship differently, share it with someone who needs it. Leave a review and drop a comment — we read every one.

In this episode, Pam and Erin dive deep into the Law of Assumption — the teaching made famous by Neville Goddard and later built upon by Bob Proctor — and explore how our unconscious assumptions about love, money, worthiness, and belonging quietly shape every outcome in our lives.

This one gets personal. Pam shares how a deep-seated assumption about addiction shaped her experience with her son, how an unexamined belief about heartbreak made it inevitable, and how a disciplined shift in assumption brought the relationship she has now into being. Erin unpacks how her assumptions played out in a decade-long relationship, a recent breakup, and a stranger at a soccer field who turned out to be married — and what all of it revealed about the beliefs running quietly in the background.

But this isn't a manifestation-from-the-couch episode. It's a real, honest, sometimes messy conversation about what it actually takes to rewire the mind.

In this episode you'll explore:

• What the Law of Assumption actually is — and why it's not magic, toxic positivity, or a wish list
• How your unconscious assumptions are shaping your relationships, finances, and sense of self — right now
• The difference between a disciplined and undisciplined mind, and why affirmations alone don't work
• How attachment styles (anxious and avoidant) are rooted in core assumptions — and how to shift them
• Why the brain prioritizes familiarity over truth — and how to use that to your advantage
• The daily practice that begins to rewire your nervous system and build new identity states
• Why "desirable vs undesirable" is more powerful than "right vs wrong" when examining your patterns
• How one aligned action can shift an assumption at the cellular level

Pam's reflection on the disciplined mind: "Your subconscious mind is like a movie projector. Most people are trying to change the movie on the screen while continuing to feed the same film through the projector."

The practice they leave you with: Observe the assumption. Interrupt the catastrophic rehearsal. Practice the feeling you want — not fake happiness, but safety, worthiness, openness, and abundance — until the nervous system learns that the new assumption is survivable.

If you recognized yourself anywhere in this episode — in the resentment loops, the doom scrolling, the relationships that kept proving you right about the wrong things — this is your invitation to look at what's playing in the background. And to ask yourself: what would I create if I believed something different?

Resources & Next Steps:

🎙️ Enjoyed this episode? Please share it — we're in the top 20% of podcasts worldwide and our goal is top 10% in the next six months. Every share matters enormously.

🌿 Grit & Grace Retreat — Fall 2026 Our next ranch-based retreat is coming in September 2026. Stay tuned for the announcement.

💫 Work with Pam or Erin Both Pam and Erin work one-on-one with clients and offer group coaching programs. Reach out if this conversation stirred something in you.

pamrader.com

⭐ Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more people find the show.

You’re not just “irritated.”
You’re not just “tired of people.”

You might be resentful… and it’s costing you more than you think.

In this raw and honest conversation, Pam and Erin unpack one of the most misunderstood emotional patterns: resentment.

Not as something someone else is doing to you…
But as a powerful signal that you’ve abandoned yourself somewhere along the way.

Because here’s the truth:
Resentment doesn’t come out of nowhere.

It builds when:

• You say yes when you mean no
• You overgive hoping to be chosen
• You stay quiet to avoid conflict
• You expect people to meet needs you’ve never expressed

And then wonder why you feel exhausted, irritated, or secretly pissed off all the time.

This episode will help you:

• Understand what resentment is really telling you
• Identify where you’ve been out of alignment
• Stop leaking bitterness into your relationships
• Start having cleaner, more honest conversations
• Rebuild self-trust and personal responsibility

Because resentment isn’t the problem.

👉 It’s the clue.

💥 Key Takeaways

• Resentment is often what happens when your mouth says yes and your soul says hell no
• Resentment = self-abandonment + unspoken truth
• There’s a difference between clean resentment (a signal) and dirty resentment (a victimhood loop)
• Most resentment is built on unspoken expectations + invisible rules
• Underneath resentment is often grief, not anger
• The question that changes everything:
  👉 Where have I been dishonest?

🛠️ Practical Tools Shared

• Pause before projecting blame
• Identify the story vs. what actually happened
• Find where you abandoned yourself
• Ask: What did I need that I didn’t express?
• Have the clean conversation:

  “I’ve been saying yes when I don’t have capacity… and I need something to change.”

❤️ If This Hit Home…

You’re not alone.

This is the work.

And if you’re ready to go deeper:

• Work 1:1 with Pam or Erin pamrader.com
• Join the community
• Or come experience this work in real life at the Grit & Grace Retreat

🌿 Grit & Grace Retreat

4 days. Real conversations. Real transformation.
Horses, yoga, connection, and the kind of truth-telling that changes your life.

👉 pamrader.com/gritandgrace

🔁 Share This Episode

If you know someone who’s been quietly holding it together…
but is actually overwhelmed, depleted, or resentful—

Send this to them.

This might be the conversation they didn’t know they needed.

In this episode, Pam and Erin get real about the deeper meaning behind the things we just can't seem to let go of — from engagement rings and grandma's China to love letters from exes and shoes that don't even fit. What starts as a conversation about spring cleaning quickly becomes a raw, honest inquiry into attachment, identity, and how we've been looking for external proof of our own worth — often without even realizing it.

Pam shares why she listed her 1.8-carat engagement ring on Facebook Marketplace and what her partner's question — "can your ego handle letting go?" — cracked open for her. Erin opens up about keeping a ring from an abusive relationship and what that finally reveals about needing to feel chosen.

This episode will make you laugh, make you cringe (in the best way), and maybe take a wander through your house with fresh eyes.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why we hold onto things as "proof" we were chosen, loved, or worthy

• The difference between valuing yourself and choosing yourself

• How attachment to objects is really attachment to old identities

• What your love languages might actually be telling you about your wounds

• Buddhist non-attachment and the freedom on the other side of letting go

• The mac and cheese incident (you'll hear about it, you won't forget it)

LISTENER INQUIRY:

Take a wander through your house. Pick one thing you're holding onto. Ask yourself: why am I keeping this? Who is it really for? And what would open up if I let it go?

WORK WITH PAM + ERIN:

Grit and Grace Retreat | May 21–24, Spring Lake Ranch, BC

4 days of real work, real wilderness, and real transformation.

Learn more at pamrader.com

Connect with Pam: pamrader.com

In this thought-provoking episode of Grit & Grace, Pam and Erin dive into the hidden risks of blindly following popular ideas — from relationship trends and parenting philosophies to spiritual influencers and self-help movements.

Together, they explore how easily we can outsource our inner authority when charisma, belonging, or confirmation bias gets involved. Through personal stories and honest reflection, they unpack the difference between wisdom and coping strategies, and why learning to question everything is essential for living in truth and alignment.

This conversation is not about mistrust or cynicism — it’s about discernment. It’s about reclaiming your power to think for yourself in a world that constantly tells you what to believe.

If you’ve ever wondered whether the advice you’re following is truly serving you… this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why charismatic voices can feel convincing — and even intoxicating
• The difference between charisma and character
• How algorithms and confirmation bias shape our beliefs
• The danger of labeling others (and ourselves) through simplified psychology
• How unmet needs for belonging and validation can make us vulnerable to influence
• Questions you can ask to strengthen discernment and self-trust
• Why real wisdom is often simple — and found within

Key reflection questions shared in the episode:

• Where did this idea come from — and what pain may have shaped it?
• Is this concept helping me understand… or just defend my current viewpoint?
• Is this advice creating more connection in my life — or more separation?
• Am I seeking truth… or looking for someone to save me?

Ultimately, Pam and Erin remind listeners that wounded people sharing their stories isn’t the problem — the real danger is when we stop thinking and start following.

🎧 If this episode resonates:

Share it with someone who might need encouragement to trust their own inner wisdom.

🌿 Want to go deeper?

Join Pam, Erin, and Brian for the Grit & Grace Retreat (May 21–24) — a powerful 4-day experience focused on connection, clarity, courage, and coming home to yourself.

pamrader.com/gritandgrace

Listen up because being disappointed never felt like such a great opportunity!

In this conversation, Tammy and I reveal the deeply personal journey of surviving both domestic abuse and workplace harassment and how those experiences have led to a desire to serve and help others.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence we urge you to get help.

Tammy can be found at www.tammywardspeaks.com and on IG @yourtruthlieswithin

In this episode we explore the realm of Quantum Healing and Pam shares some profound but practical tips for unleashing your most authentic life.

You can find Pam Dhillon on Instagram @wildandwisepam and at www.pamdhillon.com

Originally from the Gwich'in Indian Band of Aklavik in the Northwest Territories, Joe (Foxdreamer) was raised by his grandfather, whom he highly respected as his greatest spiritual teacher.
Through both story and practice, he taught Joe the ways of their ancestral spirituality and how Energy flows through everything around us. Joe also learned to ask questions of our greater being and how to patiently listen for guidance and answers. Over the years, he has combined the knowledge of his Native beliefs with the wisdom gained from experience and the study of worldwide spiritual practices. And with those strengths, he has worked to help others create pathways to their true becoming, fulfilling their spiritual roles in the grand scheme of the world. He shares this knowledge through the art of storytelling, speaking from a place of truth, wisdom and purpose.
For those who are ready to be present and listen, Joe taps into universal energy to remove the obstacles holding you back. He allows our universal Energy to flow as it should, encouraging healing and positive direction. He invites an intentional connection with spirit so you can wake to your own genius, consciously creating your future.

Cindy Edgeson is a certified coach and a spiritual translator. She helps clients interpret and act upon the wisdom Joe shares during his clearings so that they can make meaningful changes in their lives.

This episode is pure magic and chalked full of great wisdom from my dear friends. I hope you will give it a listen!

If you want to connect with Joe and Cindy, please visit

www.foxdreamer.com

or follow them on Instagram and Tiktok

Cindy: @ones.coaching

Joe: @joefoxdreamer

As an EFT Master Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Theresa implements a unique and integrative approach to nervous system regulation, subconscious mind work, the Law of Attraction, and energy strategy. She loves helping other ADHD Entrepreneurial Moms reclaim their power, self-trust, and inner peace so they can cultivate their best life free from unnecessary stress, worry, or overwhelm.

In this episode, we explore Theresa's journey from Banker to healer, what the heck EFT is and why you should try it, and why ADHD is actually a superpower!

You can find Theresa at https://theresalearlevine.com/

and @theresalearlevine on IG

What if the most aligned version of you… isn’t the flashiest one?

In this episode, Pam and Erin are joined by our resident cowboy, Brian Thiessen, for a funny-as-hell and surprisingly profound conversation about the difference between being impressive and being inspiring—and why “choosing the mule” might be the most radical act of self-respect you make this year.

Brian shares the story of being cast as an extra in a western film… only to show up late and get stuck with Tim the mule—the one ride nobody wants if you’re trying to look cool.

Except… when the frozen ground turns into chaos and horses start going down, Tim is the only one who makes it through.

It’s hilarious. It’s humbling. And it’s a perfect metaphor for the way we chase “pretty horses” in life—approval, validation, status, busy-ness—while the steady, unsexy choice is often what actually keeps us safe and gets us to the other side.

• Why “being impressive” is basically a drug (hello dopamine hits + chasing validation)

• The sneaky ways we perform: over-functioning, over-working, over-disciplining, over-serving

• Spiritual bypassing disguised as “I’m just regulated” (but inside you’re plotting someone’s demise 😅)

• People-pleasing and the exhausting game of managing perceptions

• The identity whiplash of losing “the stuff” (relationships, homes, status)… and realizing you actually like who you’re becoming

• A simple but powerful audit: Where am I performing instead of living? Who am I trying to impress?

“Grit without showmanship. Grace without applause.”

This episode is for anyone who’s tired of curating their life like it’s a brand—and is ready to feel steady, true, and free.

If this conversation hits, you’ll LOVE the retreat.

Pam, Erin, and Brian will be guiding you through a transformative weekend on a private ranch on a private lake in the Cariboo—campfires, horses, incredible food, yoga + meditation, breathwork, and a grounded program designed to help you get crystal clear on what matters most and how to actually live from that place.

Spots are limited and this one will fill fast—the link is in the show notes.

If you’re ready to stop leaking life force into being “impressive” and start living aligned (for real), here are a few ways to go deeper:

• 1:1 Coaching with Pam (private, personal, powerful) pamrader.com

• Programs + group containers through Shift Labs / the Grit & Grace ecosystem

• Retreat experiences (including the Grit & Grace Retreat May 21–24) pamrader.com/gritandgrace

Ever notice how things can be good… and then your brain is like, “Cool cool cool—let’s ruin it”? 🙃
In this episode, Pam and Erin get hilariously honest about the sneaky ways a dysregulated nervous system can become addicted to intensity—creating drama, urgency, and “problems” where none exist… even when our wise adult knows better.

We unpack why calm can feel unsafe, why your body might confuse chaos with chemistry, and how to stop letting your old wiring drive the bus (without shaming yourself into a cortisol spiral).

• What nervous system dysregulation actually feels like (urgent, catastrophic, convincing)

• The “drama queen” twist: not stirring someone else’s pot… stirring your own

• How past intensity (relationships, workplace stress, chronic hypervigilance) can rewire your system

• Why we confuse intensity = depth = love (and how media trained us to do it)

• The neuroscience: when the limbic system fires, your prefrontal cortex goes offline

• “Humans prefer predictable pain over unfamiliar peace” (yep… that part)

• Why you need a safe person to “borrow” a prefrontal cortex when you’re activated

• The cost of intensity addiction: sabotaging good relationships, burnout, bad sleep, bad decisions

• The truth bomb: “Of course and no wonder” is healing… and you’re still responsible to repair

• Calm is a learned state (and you need reps to expand your capacity for safety)

• Take a break until your wise adult re-enters the building

• Longer exhales, slow movement, orienting, nature, feet on the floor, hand on heart

• Delay big conversations or decisions until you’re regulated

• Find a mantra that’s true enough to land in your body (not empty affirmation fluff)

• “Tell on yourself” without blaming: “My nervous system got activated—give me a minute.”

• “My system tried to prevent a future fall by creating a present problem.”

• “Calm feels like withdrawal when you’ve lived in chaos.”

• “Healing isn’t the absence of intensity—it’s holding intensity without letting it drive the bus.”

• “Peace doesn’t mean I disappear. It means I arrive.” 🔥

• Where does calm feel unfamiliar in your life?

• What do you tend to question the moment things go well—loyalty, interest, worthiness?

• What happens if you don’t act on the intensity for 24 hours?

• What “high-level significance” are you trying to get through urgency, anger, or drama?

Share it with the friend who spirals after a country song (no judgment, Erin 😅), or the one who confuses butterflies with nervous system activation.

And if you want to practice this work in real time with amazing humans…

📍 May 21–24 | Spring Lake Ranch | 100 Mile House, BC
Horseback riding, yoga, breathwork, campfires, two-stepping, laughter, and a program built to help you reawaken—without having to white-knuckle your way through life.

pamrader.com/gritandgrace

Next episode: the Cowboys ride in with Western wisdom + hilarious stories you don’t want to miss. 🤠🔥

In this heartfelt episode of the Grit and Grace Podcast, co-host Pam Rader opens up about her ongoing journey of reinvention and what it truly means to live authentically. With Erin Payne by her side, the conversation moves through themes of service, freedom, and the kind of depth in relationships that brings lasting fulfillment.

Pam shares hard-won wisdom on why resilience matters, how the words we speak to ourselves shape our reality, and why breaking free from constraints is essential to growth. Together, Pam and Erin reflect on the joy of collaboration, the birth of Grit and Grace as a venture rooted in both grit and grace, and the transformative power of community and friendship.

This episode is both a personal unveiling and an invitation: to show up unapologetically, to evolve instead of arrive, and to embrace gratitude as a practice that can change everything.

Check out gritandgraceretreats.com and pamrader.com to see how you can connect with our community.

Akary shares her own path from self-betrayal to self-advocacy and reveals how breath work, narrative reframing, and human design are potent tools for emotional freedom. Together, they unpack the impact of trauma, the myths around healing being hard, and the transformative power of community-based learning. If you’ve ever felt stuck in survival mode or curious about nervous system regulation, this episode is a must-listen.

Our conversation gets deep into the waters of community, leadership, social impact and meaningful connection. You don't want to miss this extraordinary episode with one of Kelowna's most loved game-changers!

Dhorea is currently working on an incredible project to bring a Holistic Women's Recovery Center to the Okanagan.

You can find Dhorea on Instagram @hemiholistichealing @dhorea08

Grit & Grace with Pam Rader & Erin Payne

What if the thing causing the most chaos in your relationships…
isn’t what happened — but what you told yourself it meant?

In this honest (and hilariously cringey) episode, Pam and Erin pull back the curtain on the emotional spirals we all experience — from insecurity and jealousy to over-processing childhood wounds and defending feelings that may not actually be based in truth.

This conversation explores the powerful — and often uncomfortable — reality that our thoughts create meaning, meaning creates emotion, and emotion drives behaviour and results.

If you’ve ever found yourself picking fights in your head, overanalyzing a partner’s behaviour, or holding onto emotions that keep you stuck… this episode will hit home.

Expect real stories, uncomfortable truths, and practical tools to help you take radical emotional responsibility — without suppressing your feelings.

Because sometimes the most loving thing you can do…
is check yourself before you wreck yourself.

• Why emotional expression without self-awareness can damage relationships

• The difference between feeling emotions and believing every thought that creates them

• How insecurity, comparison, and old programming show up in adult relationships

• The danger of “always” and “never” thinking

• Confirmation bias, the reticular activating system, and emotional storytelling

• How radical responsibility builds self-trust and relationship safety

• Why examining your thoughts creates clarity, alignment, and empowerment

• A powerful perspective shift: What else could this mean?

Events are neutral.
The meaning we give them isn’t.

When we question our assumptions instead of defending them, we reclaim our power — and often save our relationships in the process.

⭐ Follow the podcast
⭐ Share with a friend who needs this conversation
⭐ Leave a review — it helps more people discover Grit & Grace

Your support helps us grow this community of honest conversations and real transformation.

Join us for the Grit & Grace Retreat — an immersive experience designed to help you build emotional resilience, clarity, and authentic connection.

👉 Learn more:
pamrader.com/gritandgrace

emotional intelligence, relationship advice, self awareness, mindset growth, personal development podcast, insecurity in relationships, overthinking, radical responsibility, emotional regulation, attachment patterns, leadership mindset, communication skills, healing childhood wounds

• 00:00 Welcome + why “cringe = growth”

• 01:00 What shame does to the body (threat alarms, cortisol, anxiety)

• 01:30 The antidote: name it → own it → (eventually) love it

• 02:05 “We’re all one decision away…” empathy over moral superiority

• 03:00 When hiding grows the shame (attention = fertilizer)

• 03:48 Erin’s dating story: unexpected high + “new eyes” on her life

• 05:50 Pam’s realization about control in marriage & choosing a steadier partner

• 09:50 The ambulance story: “Sir, call 911.” “Ma’am… I am 911.”

• 12:20 Parenting cringe: public vs. private standards and validation traps

• 17:10 De-shaming other parents in the wild (“You’re doing great, mama.”)

• 19:45 Old wounds → deep shame (bullying, labels, bodies, learning styles)

• 20:10 Inner-child work & playful “timeline” repair (give Past You what she needed)

• 23:30 Infidelity, integrity, and real repair vs. passive-aggression

• 31:25 Comparison culture as a shame machine

• 33:05 The pasta saga: radical feedback > people-pleasing

• 38:20 Finances, labels (ADHD/dyslexia), and permission to say “I don’t know”

• 40:05 Brené Brown’s shame resilience in four moves

• 43:00 Take your power back by owning the narrative + retreat invite

• Name it to tame it. Shame thrives in secrecy; it shrinks when spoken out loud to a safe person.

• Comparison is a thief. The more we chase idealized versions of ourselves, the more shame sticks.

• Tell the truth (kindly). Honest feedback—given and received—builds resilience faster than validation-hunting.

• Compassion isn’t a hall pass. It’s seeing the whole picture (age, skills, modeling) and then choosing aligned action now.

• Own your story = own your power. When you tell it, nobody can weaponize it against you.

• 3-step Shame Reset:

  1. “What exactly am I ashamed of?” (use plain words)

  2. “What rule/expectation am I unconsciously trying to meet?” (Is it even true?)

  3. “What’s one aligned action I can take today?”

• Inner-Child Check-in (5 min): Picture the moment the shame began. Ask: What did you need right then? Give it imaginatively—voice, backup, a wiser friend, even a silly redo. Notice your body soften.

• Conversation Starter: Tell one trusted person a 60-second “cringe” story this week—just the facts, no spin. End with: “Here’s what I learned and value now.”

• Journal Prompts:

  • Where am I managing others’ perceptions instead of my truth?

  • If I stopped comparing for 30 days, what would I try?

  • What part of me needs my compassion today?

• Brené Brown on Shame Resilience (naming shame, reality checks, reaching out, speaking it)

• Work with Pam Rader (Coaching • Leadership • Speaking):

  • Website: https://pamrader.com

  • Shift Labs: https://shiftlabs.ca

  • Apply/Book a Call: ⟶ insert your direct booking link here

• Work with Erin Payne (Coaching • Women’s Work • Nervous System & Alignment):

  • Website/Booking: ⟶ insert Erin’s link here

  • Social (optional): ⟶ insert Erin’s IG/link here

• Grit & Grace Retreat — April 17 (Cariboo, BC) with Pam, Erin, and our favorite cowboy:

  • Details & Waitlist/Registration: ⟶pamrader.com/retreats

  • Questions? Book a quick call with Pam: pamrader.com

“There’s no shame worth keeping. When you own your story, there’s nothing left for anyone to use against you.”

Share it with a friend who needs a laugh and a little less pressure to be perfect. Rate & review to help more folks turn life’s grit into grace.

In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Susan Power, founder of Powered Up Leadership in Halifax, to explore the evolving landscape of leadership in today’s world. Together, we dismantle the outdated notion that leadership is just a title or a role. Instead, we make the case that leadership is a way of being—how you show up in your work, relationships, and daily life.

We talk about why social-emotional skills are no longer optional—they're essential in a world that demands connection, self-awareness, and agility. Susan shares her top strategies for aspiring leaders and speaks candidly about the importance of leading yourself first through self-care, clarity, and aligned action.

Whether you’re stepping into a leadership role or redefining what leadership means to you, this episode will leave you feeling inspired, grounded, and ready to lead from the inside out.

Connect with Susan Power:
🌐 Website: https://www.poweredupleadership.ca
🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/powerup

🧭 Want to deepen your leadership journey? Join our free community at The Shift Collective and explore tools, coaching, and conversations that bring heart-led leadership to life.

You can find Pam @pamrader on Instagram , www.pamrader.com or Shiftlabs.ca

Join or FREE Skool community and get free resources here:

https://www.skool.com/shift-labs-1121/about?ref=2f69a7bd0af64779bb0d0f6243f73378

Follow Nicole on Instagran @_thisholylife

What if the most mature thing you could do this week… is not respond?

In this episode, Pam and Erin slow it right down and talk about something deceptively simple—but wildly life-changing: the pause. Not the “I’m biting my tongue so I don’t lose it” kind of pause… but the kind that becomes a ritual—a way of living that creates depth, dignity, and way fewer “I can’t believe I said that” moments.

This conversation was inspired by a beautiful novel Pam couldn’t put down: The Correspondent by Virginia Evans—a story told through handwritten letters that reminded us what it feels like to communicate with intention… not impulse.

• Why speed isn’t the same as depth (and why “quick replies” often cost us)

• The neuroscience of reactive communication: amygdala hijack, cortisol spikes, and why your “wise self” basically goes offline

• How most “communication” is actually emotional discharge
  (“We don’t respond… we release.” 🔥)

• A hilarious (and painfully relatable) real-life story from Pam about returning a curling iron… and how silence did the work

• Why delayed responses can be maturity—not avoidance
  (and how Pam’s divorce process has unexpectedly taught her that)

Pam breaks it down into an easy framework you’ll recognize immediately:

1. Triggered Self – flooded, reactive, defensive, fast-fingered on the keyboard

2. Protective Self – strategic, righteous, looking for validation (“I’m right, right?!”)

3. Sovereign Self – grounded, clear, dignity intact, speaking from “what matters most”

And yes… we talk about how the Protective Self loves to recruit a friend into the drama triangle. (We’ve all done it.)

If you take nothing else from this episode, take this:

1. Regulate — don’t respond while activated (move your body, breathe, walk, journal, do the somatic thing)

2. Name it — what is it really? hurt? fear? humiliation? rejection? (naming reduces intensity)

3. Identity check — who do I want to be in this story? what would my future self do?

4. Precision response — fewer words, cleaner tone, no emotional leakage
   “Sovereignty is concise.”

Because honestly… wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t have to repair everything all the time?

• “We don’t respond, we release.”

• “The pause restores wisdom.”

• “Don’t assume a peaceful person is unskilled at war.”

• “Draft it. Don’t send it. Sleep on it. Then speak from who you’re becoming—not who you were in pain.”

If you want a soothing, soul-nourishing read (or listen), Pam highly recommends The Correspondent by Virginia Evans—and shares why she’s inspired to start writing letters again (the real kind… with paper).

If your nervous system is craving a reset—and your heart is craving clarity—this is your invitation.

Join Pam + Erin (and yes… the cowboy) for a transformative weekend on a private ranch and private lake in 100 Mile, BC. Expect:

• yoga + meditation

• breathwork

• a grounded personal development program you can actually apply

• horses + horseback riding

• campfire magic + lots of laughter

• the kind of space where you can finally hear yourself again

It’s deep enough to change you… and light enough that you’ll have a blast.

👉 Link to reserve your spot is in the show notes. Spots are limited.

• “I wish I could unsend that text.”

• “I don’t trust what I’m about to say right now.”

• “I want to be calm… but I also want to be honest.”

• “I’m tired of repairing. I want to lead myself better.”

Until next time—take the pause. It’s not giving up. It’s growing up.

pamrader.com/gritandgrace

If you’ve ever wondered “Am I in danger… or is my nervous system just convinced I am?” this episode will land.

• What a panic attack feels like in the body (and why it can mimic a heart attack)

• The key truth: panic is NOT dangerous—but it’s intensely uncomfortable

• Why triggers from the past can hijack the present (even when life is safe now)

• The idea of “parts” that are still stuck in the year the trauma happened

• Why “just calm down” doesn’t help (and what does)

• Healing options beyond talk therapy:

  • EMDR

  • Brainspotting

  • Somatic approaches (movement, yoga, walking)

  • EFT/Tapping

• A simple but powerful distinction:
  Intuition is soft and subtle. Anxiety is loud and urgent.

• Co-regulation: how your nervous system is influenced by the people around you

• Parenting + anxiety: how to model emotional truth without dumping it on your kids

• How to meet yourself where you are (even if you’re not ready to “love” the anxiety yet)

Silvia shares that anxiety is often a messenger—and when we stop shaming it and start listening, it doesn’t need to scream.

• Website: sylviaaraya.com

• Books: available on Amazon (also linked on her website)

If you love someone who struggles with anxiety or panic (including you), send them this episode. That’s why we’re here.

And if you’re coming to get “some cowboy on”… Grit & Grace Retreat (May) is in motion and we cannot wait. 🤠✨

Subscribe, rate, and review if this episode helped you—your support helps the right people find the show.

Until next time: may you find tools to turn the grit of anxiety into grace.

This episode goes far beyond theory. It’s a heart-forward exploration of how our attachment styles influence our lives, how curiosity opens unexpected pathways for healing, and how we can soften into relationships—not as places to perform, but as sacred training grounds for becoming more whole.

You’ll hear Dr. Rebecca share vulnerably about her own journey of reconnecting with her intuition, navigating the unknown, and learning to trust the body as a compass. The conversation weaves attachment theory with spirituality, trauma-informed embodiment, psychedelic healing, and the profound empowerment that comes from taking responsibility for our own evolution.

If you’re navigating love, heartbreak, patterns that keep repeating, or the desire for deeper connection—with yourself or with a partner—this episode will meet you right where you are.

To find out more about Dr. Reid and her groundbreaking work, check out https://www.madeformiracles.ca/

To join us on our inaugural Grit and Grace Retreat, check out pamrader.com to get on our waitlist.

Lynn brings more than two decades of experience supporting professionals, educators, and individuals through evidence‑based therapy and group programs like “Know Your Worth” and “90‑Day Design for Life” (empoweredlives.ca). Her journey—even symbolized by the rugged resilience of a vintage 1969 Ford truck—speaks to the inner strength born from battling life’s toughest roads (empoweredlives.ca).

• Unpacking Self-Worth: Lynn and Pam dive into how societal pressures and internal comparisons chip away at our sense of value—and why this matters for both women and men.

• The Power of Connection: They emphasize how community, shared vulnerability, and emotional safety are vital anchors in restoring a sense of belonging and self-acceptance.

• Challenging Negative Narratives: Listeners will discover how to identify and counter harmful internal stories through self-reflection, reframing, and curiosity.

• Real, Actionable Takeaways: Lynn offers practical steps you can take today—like scheduling intentional self-care, anchoring through support networks, and cultivating vulnerability as a bridge to resilience.

• A Call to Inner Work: Learn how embracing imperfection and reflecting on your worth can guide you from insecure comparison toward grounded self-compassion.

This episode is a heartfelt invitation: reconnect with your worth, step into your community, and embrace the work of healing—not in spite of, but because of your complexity. Whether you're feeling isolated, uncertain, or simply seeking a gentler way forward, Lynn’s wisdom and warmth are a guiding light.

Tune into Episode 64 to rediscover what it truly means to know your worth.

When someone you love is suffering from addiction, the pain doesn’t just belong to them—it ripples through the entire family. In this raw and real episode of Authenticity Unleashed, Pam Rader is joined by clinical psychotherapist, addiction counselor, and clinical supervisor Asha Altun to talk about the often-overlooked side of recovery: the family.

Together, they explore:

• Why addiction is a family disease—and what that really means

• The damaging myths of “tough love” and “doing it alone”

• The shame, guilt, and powerlessness families often carry

• Practical ways to set boundaries with love (not resentment)

• How to support your loved one without abandoning yourself

• What it really takes to stop rescuing and start healing

• The game-changing role of family recovery groups and retreats

Pam and Asha also share details of an exciting new offering: a transformational family recovery retreat coming October 2025 in partnership with West Coast Sober Living. This immersive experience is designed to give families real tools, real support, and real healing—whether your loved one is in recovery or not.

If you've ever felt isolated, helpless, or unsure how to help someone you love through addiction—this episode is for you.

💛 Resources Mentioned:
✔️ Free Family Support Group (Wednesdays with Asha)
✔️ Free Family Support Group (Thursdays with Pam’s team) Link:

https://www.skool.com/shift-labs-1121/about?ref=2f69a7bd0af64779bb0d0f6243f73378
✔️ Family Retreat Info & Registration – October 2025

https://shiftlabs.ca/retreat

📢 Share this episode with someone who needs it—you could change (or save) a life.

🎙 Episode: A Conversation with Charles Canaan – Understanding the Opioid Crisis and the Power of Compassion

In this powerful episode, I sit down with Charles Canaan to discuss the heartbreaking realities of the opioid crisis and why education, awareness, and compassion are essential if we want to create real change. We dive into the impact of stigma, the human cost of addiction, and how treating suffering people with kindness can transform lives.

This conversation is deeply personal, timely, and incredibly important. If you’ve ever wondered how you can make a difference—or if you’ve been personally touched by addiction—this episode will give you new insights and a renewed sense of hope.

If this conversation moves you, I invite you to take the next step: join us for the upcoming screening of the powerful documentary Toxic on February 18th.

This film sheds light on the hidden realities of the opioid crisis, challenges misconceptions, and shows what’s possible when we respond with empathy instead of judgment.

🎬 Event Details: 📅 Date: February 18, 2025 📍 Location: Mary Irwin Theatre (Rotary Center for the Arts) Kelowna 

 ⏰ Time:7pm 

 🎟️ Get your tickets here: https://rotarycentreforthearts.com/events/event/139401/

This is more than just a film—it’s a conversation that needs to happen. Be part of the movement to shift perspectives and create a more compassionate world.

✔️ The current landscape of the opioid crisis—what’s happening and why it matters

✔️ The devastating impact of stigma and how it prevents people from getting help

✔️ The transformative power of compassion-first approaches to addiction recovery

✔️ Why we must rethink the way we treat suffering people ✔️ The Toxic documentary and how it opens the door to change

💬 What resonated most with you in this episode? Share your thoughts and tag me on Instagram @pamrader! 🔗

Don’t forget to grab your tickets for the Toxic screening on February 18th—this is a film that will change the way you see the world.

Together, we can shift the conversation from blame to hope, healing, and humanity.

🎟️ Don’t Miss the Screening of "Toxic" – February 18th!
In This Episode, We Discuss:Join the Conversation:Listen now and be part of the movement! 🎧✨

Do you measure your wealth solely by your bank balance? Research shows that after $75,000 annually, more money doesn't significantly impact happiness. In this transformative episode of Authenticity Unleashed, Pam explores the five essential dimensions of wealth that create a truly rich life: health, relationships, time, spiritual connection, and financial resources.

Drawing from groundbreaking studies, including the Harvard Study of Adult Development, Pam reveals how nurturing these interconnected forms of wealth leads to deeper fulfillment than financial success alone. You'll discover:

• Why good relationships reduce premature death risk by 50% and how to deepen your most important connections
• The surprising link between loneliness and smoking (they carry the same health risks!)
• Practical strategies for building each type of wealth without sacrificing the others
• How to align your time and money with your deepest values

Whether you're feeling trapped in the rat race or seeking greater meaning beyond material success, this episode provides a roadmap to creating genuine abundance in all areas of life. Plus, learn why people who prioritize time over money report significantly higher life satisfaction, and how you can redefine wealth on your own terms.

Join Pam for an inspiring exploration of what it truly means to live a wealthy life – one rich in health, love, time, purpose, and yes, financial stability too. The journey to authentic abundance starts here.

For more information on working with Pam or programs offered by Shift Labs please visit pamrader.com or shiftlabs.ca

He is a successful serial entrepreneur, a devoted family man, and a community leader based in Ottawa, Canada.

As the driving force behind LIVE LIKE THEY DREAM Inc., Sean isn’t just a Real Estate Broker; he’s the compassionate Team Leader steering the Sean Frost Real Estate Team toward success.

Imagine a conductor leading an orchestra, harmonizing real estate deals while crafting dreams with his two licensed custom home-building companies: Black River Homes and Elm Homes. Yet, amidst these ventures, Sean’s heart finds its center in the role of a dedicated Dad, where his family takes the spotlight as the most cherished part of his life.

Beyond his ventures in real estate, Sean's creative spirit shines through I Am Sean Frost Inc., where he navigates the world of music production, nurturing the careers of artists like TwoTiime and JSTN DMND and Pro Wrestler Joshua Bishop.

Sean's commitment extends beyond business and creativity to community engagement. He is a passionate football supporter (soccer), partnering with Atletico Ottawa to bring the spirit of

professional sport to the local community. Sean collaborates with impactful organizations like CHEO and The Ottawa Boys and Girls Club, driven by his desire to create a brighter future for future generations. In 2022, Sean's dedication was honoured with the Volkswagen

Canada's Gamechangers award, recognizing his commitment to using sports as a force for positive change in communities. This award is a testament to Sean's legacy and his hope to pass on a culture of community engagement to his children.

This one is a banger folks! If you want to be inspired to live BIG this episode delivers!

You can find Sean on Instagram @iamseanfrost

• What “invisible contracts” are and how they get written in childhood/body

• Common contracts: hyper-independence, control, people-pleasing, playing small, being “the strong one,” “the entertainer,” the caretaker

• The nervous system piece: why insight alone isn’t enough (somatic reactions, cellular memory)

• Bob Proctor’s “terror barrier” and breaking patterns through new action

• Acknowledge → Accept → Declare → Do (one aligned action)

• Reframing old memories (inner child / re-parenting)

• “Blame well” (crediting our caregivers for the strengths their flaws grew in us)

• Writing new contracts that fit who you are now

• Pam’s old contract: “I’ll take care of everything.” The cost: exhaustion, resentment, never receiving support.

• Erin’s tender edge: the “I’m not chosen” story and how it pulls her toward victim mode until she lovingly re-claims the mic.

• What role did you take on that no one explicitly asked you to (entertainer, fixer, caretaker, achiever, peacekeeper)?

• What are you afraid would happen if you stopped performing that role?

• When you’re triggered, what age does the feeling belong to? What did that younger you really need?

• Write a new contract in plain language: “It’s safe for me to receive support.” “My worth isn’t tied to achievement.” “Being fully myself is a gift.”

Work with Pam (1:1 coaching, groups): pamrader.com

Grit & Grace Retreat — April 17–20, 2026 • Cariboo, BC (Spring Lake Ranch) https://gritandgraceretreats.com
→ Join the waitlist / learn more: add your link here

• Listen & subscribe: Grit & Grace (everywhere you get podcasts)

• Share this episode with someone rewriting their story. Tag us with your new contract!

• 00:41 Welcome & why “invisible contracts”

• 02:30 Common contracts we inherit or write as kids

• 06:20 “I choose you”: Erin on healing the “unchosen” story

• 08:55 Pam’s “I’ll take care of everything” contract & the cost

• 10:40 Conscious vs. subconscious; why the body runs the show

• 12:50 Hitting the terror barrier (and what to do)

• 17:20 The 4-step pathway: Acknowledge → Accept → Declare → Do

• 18:55 Pair action with a calming emotion to lock in change

• 21:15 Finding the basement scrolls (metaphor) & updating clauses

• 24:10 Re-parenting & reframing old memories

• 30:25 Roles we adopt: entertainer, caretaker, leader, fixer

• 36:10 New-path metaphor: machete work > well-worn trail

• 39:00 Triggers as teachers; shadow work with compassion

• 40:20 New contracts we’re claiming now + retreat invite

• 42:35 Teaser: Cowboy joins next episode on masculine/feminine

1. Invisible Contracts: The Promises We Forgot We Made

2. Renegotiating Your Life: Rewrite the Unseen Agreements

3. Triggers, Terror Barriers & New Deals with Yourself

4. From “I’ll Do It All” to “I Receive”: Updating Old Roles

5. The Basement Scrolls: Finding and Rewriting Unconscious Contracts

6. Chosen By Me: Healing the Old “Pick Me” Story

7. Awareness, Acceptance, Declaration, Action

8. Your Nervous System Isn’t the Enemy (It Just Needs New Data)

9. The Entertainer, The Fixer, The Strong One—Retiring Old Parts

10. Triggers as Treasure: Shadow Work with Grit & Grace

11. From Well-Worn Paths to New Trails (Bring a Machete)

12. Blame Well, Love Better: Re-Parenting the Past

13. When Insight Isn’t Enough: Body-Led Change

14. The Cost of Being “The Strong One” (and How to Stop Paying)

15. Your New Contract Starts Today

We explore:

• Expanding capacity when life suddenly doubles your load (single parenting, finances, new roles)

• How grief and excitement can co-exist inside new rituals and seasons

• Dating after long relationships—meeting your light and shadow without losing yourself

• Security, nervous system wobble, and the pull to seek rescue vs. self-trust

• Creating boundaries that keep your peace in (not people out)—and surviving the backlash

• Autopilot vs. authorship: why “what I’ve always done” won’t take you anywhere new

• Speaking vulnerably as a form of self-love (and an antidote to isolation)

• Letting grit polish you into something more aligned, authentic, and free

Favorite ideas & one-liners:

• “Autopilot always takes you home—but never somewhere new.”

• “No souls are harmed in the making of your new life.”

• “What would love have me do right now?”

Try this:

• Name one “first” you’re in. What new ritual could honour it?

• Ask: If no one was watching, how would I create this moment?

• Write a boundary that keeps your peace in. Practice saying it kindly, once.

• Replace autopilot with authorship: choose one small, courageous action today.

Resources & next steps:

• Want support while you navigate your own season of firsts? Work with Pam 1:1 or join our community for coaching, practices, and weekly prompts.

• Get on the Grit & Grace Retreat waitlist for April 2026—come do this sacred work with Pam, Erin, and Brian (details via Pam’s socials @pamrader and website pamrader.com.

If this episode served you, follow the show, leave a review, and share it with someone who’s walking through their own firsts. Here’s to turning life’s grit into gold.

In this episode, Pam explores the difference between endlessly seeking knowledge and truly living what we know. She shares a personal story of 25 years of spiritual seeking, the moment she chose to set aside the textbooks, and the freedom that comes from listening inwardly.

Drawing on the ancient yogic story of the sage Bharadvāja—who spent three lifetimes memorizing sacred texts only to be told he’d gathered just a handful of true wisdom—Pam reminds us that collecting knowledge is only the first step. The real transformation happens when we act on what we already know, trust ourselves, and live from an in-formed place.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in overthinking, waiting for permission, or searching for the “right” answer from experts, this episode is an invitation to pause the seeking, tune in to your own knowing, and choose new action.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:
✅ The personal story behind Pam’s decision to stop seeking and start listening
✅ The teaching of Bharadvāja and its modern relevance
✅ Why knowledge alone doesn’t create change
✅ How over-studying can become avoidance
✅ Practical questions to help you trust your inner wisdom

Reflection Questions:
🌿 Where in your life are you gathering knowledge but avoiding action?
🌿 What do you already know you want to do or change?
🌿 How would your life feel if you trusted yourself more?

Call to Action:
This week, choose one small action you already know you want to take. No more waiting for permission. Remember: no one is paying as much attention as you think. You’re free to create the life you want.

Connect with Pam:
🌿 Website: pamrader.com
🌿 Shift Labs: shiftlabs.ca
🌿 Join The Shift Collective Community

In this episode, we explore Luke's rise from the depths of adverse childhood experiences that left him in a constant state of rage, leading him to a life of unspeakable violence, addiction and incarceration.

His transformation is nothing short of a miracle, and this episode will leave you with hope in your heart and actionable steps you can take to be a part of the solution to the evergrowing mental health, addiction and homelessness crisis.

If you love someone who struggles with addiction you can join Loving Your Addict on Zoom every Thursday at 7pm with this link.

https://shiftlabs.podia.com/lovingyouraddictmeeting

In this honest and timely conversation, Pam Rader and Erin Payne explore why our culture’s obsession with “being happy” often disconnects us from our humanity—and how so-called undesirable emotions can actually become portals for healing, clarity, and personal power.

As the holidays approach—a time that can amplify grief, stress, and emotional complexity—this episode offers grounded wisdom, nervous-system-based insights, and practical tools for working with your emotions instead of against them.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why “positive vibes only” can create shame around normal human emotions

• How unprocessed emotions get stored in the nervous system

• The emotional arc: why feelings must be allowed to complete

• Sadness, anger, doubt, jealousy, and fear as messengers—not mistakes

• Anger as a protector and boundary-setter (when integrated consciously)

• How focus, posture, and self-talk shape our emotional state

  • When emotions are asking to be felt—and when they’ve become habits

  • Why holding space (for ourselves and others) is sacred work

  Pam also shares a powerful yogic story that reminds us: darkness has always had a place in wisdom traditions—and it has something to teach us.

  This episode is an invitation to slow down, get curious, and ask a different question:
  What is this emotion here to show me?

  ✨ If you’re navigating the holidays with mixed emotions—or simply want a more compassionate relationship with yourself—this conversation will meet you right where you are.

  🔗 Learn more about upcoming Grit & Grace retreats and offerings at pamrader.com

Pam also explores the anxiety of comparing herself to others in her field, a pattern many of us face when stepping into new spaces. Discover the simple truth that led her out of the weeds and back onto the path. Through this episode, Pam invites you to shift your perspective on personal growth, self-imposed expectations, and the power of being exactly where you’re meant to be—right now.

Tune in for an authentic, relatable discussion on navigating overwhelm, cultivating resilience, and staying connected to your unique journey.

Connect and Explore Further:

Shift Labs:

https://shiftlabs.ca

Leadership coaching and personal development resources for creating a life and business you love.

The Shift Collective Community

https://theshiftcollective.skool.com

Join our free community on Skool for coaching, personal growth, and self-leadership resources.

In this powerful episode, Pam Rader sits down with Zach Smith, founder and CEO of Anywhere.com, to explore how travel can be more than just a break from daily life—it can be a path to deeper self-discovery and global connection.

Together, they challenge the norms of cookie-cutter tourism and dive into what it means to travel with curiosity, presence, and intention. From fostering meaningful cultural immersion to shifting from escapism to enrichment, Zach shares how the travel industry—and travelers themselves—can evolve to create experiences that are truly transformative.

Whether you’re dreaming of your next adventure or rethinking how you show up in the world, this conversation will inspire you to travel not just to see more, but to become more.

Topics include:

• Why presence is the secret ingredient to powerful travel

• How curiosity leads to cultural connection and personal growth

• The difference between escaping life and expanding it

• What it means to be a conscious traveler in today’s world

Quote to remember:
"Travel is about connection—and connection is where transformation begins." – Zach Smith

In this solo episode of Authenticity Unleashed, Pam Rader takes you on a deeply personal ride through the Wild West of reinvention — a chapter marked by heartbreak, self-discovery, dating after divorce, grief, growth, and building a new life on her own terms.

Through 9 raw, real, and richly told life lessons, Pam reflects on the unpredictable journey of becoming — not despite the chaos, but because of it. Whether you're starting over, navigating uncertainty, or learning to trust yourself again, this episode will leave you feeling seen, supported, and inspired to rise.

• Why choosing yourself is the ultimate act of healing

• The danger of outsourcing your life to “experts”

• How to honor grief without letting it define you

• Letting go of people-pleasing and trusting your intuition

• Releasing what no longer fits — including identities and relationships

• The courage it takes to burn it all down and start again

• How to embrace messiness and feel your way forward

• What to do when your life changes and your circle does too

• The freedom in trying things on — and choosing what aligns

Through candid stories and soul-level insights, Pam offers a powerful reminder:

You’re not broken. You’re becoming.

• Website: www.pamrader.com

• Instagram: @pamrader

If this episode moved you, please rate and review the podcast on Spotify or Apple — and don’t forget to share it with a friend who’s navigating their own wild west.

This is your life. You get to write the story. So make it one you’d want to watch.

#AuthenticityUnleashed #PamRader #LifeAfterDivorce #Reinvention #GriefHealing #TrustYourGut #StartOver #PersonalGrowthPodcast #FemininePower #SelfLeadership #WildWestWisdom

Jonas lives life on his terms and continues to expand what's possible in his life by always challenging the status quo. In this episode, we discuss what it takes to create your life on purpose and explore the role of doubt as the villain in the movie of your life. Jonas shares invaluable wisdom on living authentically and unapologetically. This is a fantastic interview with an extraordinary man who will inspire our listeners to become their own "life managers". Enjoy!

Check out shiftlabs.ca and pamrader.com for more ways to connect!

In this episode of Grit & Grace, Pam Rader and Erin Payne dive into a conversation many of us didn’t realize we needed—the hidden cost of being “reasonable.”

You know the pendulum:

• On one end, emotional chaos and oversharing.

• On the other, being so calm, regulated, and “mature” that you quietly disappear.

Somewhere along the way, emotional regulation got confused with self-silencing.

Pam and Erin explore how many of us—especially thoughtful, self-aware people—use reasonableness as a socially acceptable way to:

• Avoid discomfort

• Keep the peace

• Stay liked

• Protect ourselves from judgment

…and how that choice slowly chips away at our confidence, desires, self-trust, and even our dreams.

This episode is an honest, funny, and deeply grounding exploration of what it actually means to live in alignment—not as an emotional disaster, and not as a spiritually bypassing saint, but as a human being willing to tell the truth kindly, clearly, and courageously.

• Why “being reasonable” is often fear in disguise

• How emotional regulation can turn into self-abandonment

• The difference between honesty and harshness

• Why calm doesn’t always equal peace

• How people-pleasing masquerades as maturity

• The missing communication skill that keeps us stuck at the extremes

• Why pursuing your desires may look unreasonable—but might be the most reasonable thing of all

• How expanding your capacity often requires doing the thing that makes you want to pee your pants

Pam and Erin also share personal reflections on career, identity, entrepreneurship, separation, and what it takes to choose an unreasonably alive life—rather than a merely acceptable one.

“If you do reasonable things, you’ll have a reasonable life.
If you do unreasonable things, you gain access to an unreasonably extraordinary one.”

Take a moment to reflect on where you’ve been:

• Staying quiet instead of speaking up

• Choosing comfort over truth

• Playing small to keep others comfortable

• Calling self-betrayal “emotional intelligence”

What might shift if you allowed yourself to redefine what reasonable really means?

Pam and Erin extend an invitation that might feel a little unreasonable—and very aligned:

The Grit & Grace Retreat
📍 Spring Lake Ranch, 100 Mile House, BC
🗓️ May 21–24

Four days of horses, yoga, campfires, deep conversations, laughter, and spaciousness—designed to help you reconnect with what matters and remember who you are when you stop performing for everyone else.

Sometimes the most unreasonable thing you can do…
is choose yourself.

If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who might need permission to stop being so reasonable.
It helps the show grow, and we’re grateful you’re here.

Until next time—
may you keep turning grit into grace.

Pam dives into all things energy, the spirit world and how our emotional state attracts our experiences. Listen to learn why using your intuition is more powerful than using your brain!

Dr. Divi has been a family doctor for 25 years and is the founder of the Mind Body Spirit Center.

She is also an author, international speaker & teacher.

Her training post-medical school is wide and diverse. She is trained as a Mind Body Spirit Practitioner from the University of Washington. Dr Divi is also a Certified Medical Intuitive.

Through working with and crafting her intuitive skills, she now works with people with a variety of issues, including Abundance, Life Purpose, Stress Management, Depression, Chronic pain, Parenting difficulties & more…

All of our life issues are connected with each other, which is why Dr Divi loves what she does. It is never boring!

In Dr. Divi’s work, she has discovered that shifting mental and emotional states have an impact beyond words in our lives. It affects our pocketbook, our daily happiness, our relationships and our body!

Dr. Divi is a world-recognized teacher and healer in this field and helps people individually and in groups.

She has been featured on the TED Stage, in Movies, on CBC radio, in the Huffington Post, on National TV and more!

You can find Dr. Divi on Instagram @drdivi or on her website drdivi.com

You can find Mitch at mitchcalvert.com or follow him on instagram @mitchcalvertfitness

In this final episode, I reflect on the incredible journey we’ve shared—our guests, the grit we’ve unpacked, the lessons learned, and the community that’s grown around these conversations. This podcast has always been about living in truth, even when life burns down to the ground. And as I rise yet again from my own ashes, it’s time to evolve.

This is not the end—it’s an evolution.

I’m thrilled to introduce the next chapter: The Grit & Grace Podcast. Alongside my co-host Erin Payne—and the occasional cowboy perspective from Brian Thiessen—we’ll explore how to take life’s grit and let it polish us instead of grind us down. Expect stories of resilience, reinvention, laughter, and transformation—plus wisdom from experts to help you rise into alignment with what matters most.

Thank you for being part of Authenticity Unleashed. Your support, presence, and willingness to get real with me has been everything. I hope you’ll join me as we step boldly into this new space together.

✨ Follow Grit & Grace wherever you get your podcasts—and let’s keep rising.

Curious about working with Pam? Check out pamrader.com.

Dating someone with avoidant tendencies has become both mirror and teacher for me. I open up about moments when my nervous system panicked, the roots of those responses in my past relationship, and the humbling gift of seeing how the same dynamics I once resented are now playing out in reverse.

We’ll explore:

• What attachment styles are and how they develop

• How anxious and avoidant patterns dance together in relationships

• Why these styles aren’t character flaws but protective strategies

• My own raw experience of confronting anxious attachment

• Practical ways to move toward secure attachment

This episode is for anyone who has felt rejected, smothered, overwhelmed, or terrified of being abandoned in love—and wants to bring more compassion, self-awareness, and healing to their relationships.

It’s vulnerable work. It’s necessary work. And it’s work that can transform not just our connections with others, but our relationship with ourselves.

If this resonates with you, please share it with someone who might need to hear it.

✨ Resources and Links

👉 Learn more about my coaching and programs: https://www.shiftlabs.ca
👉 Join our community and find resources for self-leadership and personal growth: https://www.pamrader.com
👉 Connect with me on Instagram: [your Instagram handle if you want to include it]

From softening into feminine energy to releasing the pressure to perform for others, Pam opens up about the surprising gifts of starting over at 53. She reflects on what happens when the lens you've been looking through shatters — and how that moment can become a doorway to pure potential.

This is an episode for anyone who has ever felt like life unraveled… only to realize they were finally becoming who they were always meant to be.

In this episode, Pam explores:

• The courage to defy conventional advice and follow what feels true

• Why she no longer manages others’ perceptions of her

• The power of choosing energy, honesty, and trust over "checkbox" success

• How she’s rediscovering long-forgotten parts of herself

• The unexpected beauty of a blank canvas at midlife

If you're craving authenticity, depth, and permission to reimagine your life — this one’s for you.

👉 Learn more or connect with Pam at www.pamrader.com

For more information on how to work with me please visit pamrader.com . Follow me on instagram @pamrader

In this solo episode, I break down the truth about boundaries—what they are, what they aren't, and how we often get them wrong. Many of us were never taught how to set boundaries, instead learning to be people-pleasers as a survival strategy. But that’s not a way to live. I unpack the critical distinction between boundaries and ultimatums—one being an act of self-responsibility, the other a form of control.

But here’s something most people haven’t thought about: Being boundaryless isn’t just about failing to say no—it’s also about overstepping into other people’s space. When we impose our ideas, advice, or presence on others without considering their needs or boundaries, we unintentionally harm relationships and our own well-being. This episode will help you identify hidden ways you may be crossing boundaries (without even realizing it) and what to do instead to cultivate healthier, more respectful connections.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• The key difference betweenboundaries vs. ultimatums (and why one is manipulation and the other is self-responsibility).
• Why we struggle to set boundaries and how early conditioning plays a role.
• The unexpected waywe cross boundaries without realizing it—through unfiltered self-expression, advice-giving, and presence.
• How to createhealthy boundaries that protect both your well-being and your relationships.

Join the Conversation:
Did this episode resonate with you? Share your thoughts in our free Skool community,The Shift Collective, where we dive deeper into personal growth, leadership, and self-mastery. Join here: https://www.skool.com/shift-labs-1121/about

Check out pamrader.com and shiftlabs.ca for more great content

This episode is for anyone who has had a hard year—marked by endings, grief, disappointment, or emotional exhaustion—and is ready to stop carrying the weight of resentment into the new year.

Together, Pam and Erin explore:

• What forgiveness is (and what it definitely is not)

• Why resentment feels justified—but quietly drains our life force

• How forgiveness can coexist with anger, grief, and strong boundaries

• Why self-forgiveness is the foundation of forgiving others

• And how peace becomes non-negotiable once you’ve truly tasted it

Drawing on teachings from Baron Baptiste, Byron Katie, and Deepak Chopra, this episode offers both deep reflection and practical tools you can use immediately—especially during emotionally charged family gatherings and year-end transitions.

Dynamic and inspirational, Ryan "the Lion" brings his unique energy and sacred knowledge to everything he does. Whether in his own One Yoga studios or as an ambassador of yoga to communities worldwide, his expression of this ancient yet vital tradition consistently touches people's hearts. Ryan's commitment to honouring his teachers leads him to be equally devoted to continuing his studies as to teaching. 

Mental health challenges have recently altered Ryan's life and practice. Drawing inspiration from his deep love for his daughters, Kiyah, Thora Grace, and Fern, and from his partner Dani, Ryan rededicated himself to his practice and wellness. This intense period of darkness has ignited in him a renewed relationship and passion for sharing the profound healing power of yoga.  

Ryan believes that through steady practice and devotion, all people – regardless of their age, gender, race, or religion, can experience the Oneness of Yoga.

In today's episode, Ryan generously shares his journey from his meteoric rise to the status of a celebrated teacher to his struggle to rise out of the darkness of depression.

Ryan's infectious energy and authenticity are undeniable, and his story of resilience will inspire you!

But what if your love language isn’t just a preference…
What if it’s a signal of where you didn’t receive the love you needed most?

In this episode, Pam Rader takes you beneath the surface of the love languages to explore the hidden wounds they reveal — and how you can use them as a map for deep personal healing.

You’ll learn:

• Why our most craved love language often points to childhood unmet needs

• How to stop outsourcing your healing through your partner’s behavior

• Gentle practices to reconnect with and re-parent your inner child

• Why the real work of love begins with coming home to yourself

This isn’t about fixing you — it’s about understanding you. And that changes everything.

Whether you're in a relationship, healing from heartbreak, or seeking to deepen self-love, this episode will give you powerful insight into your patterns — and how to transform them.

🎧 Tune in, and discover what your love language is really trying to tell you.

In this heart-opening episode of Authenticity Unleashed, Pam sits down with Nicole Richard, founder of Wax Pencil Headshots, for a powerful conversation about what it really means to belong. Together, they explore the unseen ripple effect of everyday kindness, the transformative power of operating from the belief that "I am enough," and how giving back can be one of the most direct paths to personal fulfillment. Nicole shares her journey as an entrepreneur, creator, and community-builder, and reminds us that impact often begins with the smallest, most intentional acts. If you’ve ever struggled with self-worth or questioned your place in the world, this episode will leave you inspired and grounded in your own value.

Find Nicole at waxpencil.com

Get the newly released Audible version of my best-selling memoir "Through the Cracks" here:

https://www.audible.ca/pd/Through-the-Cracks-Audiobook/B0D5FDCKMY?eac_link=w27VQiqlQHuW&ref=web_search_eac_asin_1&eac_selected_type=asin&eac_selected=B0D5FDCKMY&qid=GOVIsfg2g4&eac_id=142-2359876-8892746_GOVIsfg2g4&sr=1-1

In this enriching conversation, I sit down with my dear friend and spiritual teacher, Jaromyr Kynl, to explore what it truly means to integrate spirituality into everyday life. We go beyond the ashram, temple, or place of worship and into the real, raw human experience—where spirituality isn’t something we visit but something we live.

Together, we unpack:
✨ Spirituality in real life—how it weaves into relationships, emotions, and daily struggles
✨ The difference between spiritual practice and spiritual bypassing
✨ How truth and love shape our inner world and the way we engage with others
✨ The power of holding space for all human emotions as a form of deep spiritual practice

This episode is inspiration for anyone seeking a more embodied, heart-centered approach to spirituality—one that embraces both the light and the shadows of being human.

Tune in and discover how to make spirituality a lived experience, no matter where you are on your journey.

🔗 Learn more about Jaromyr Kynl and his work at www.amonkstus.com

🎧 Listen now and join the conversation!

From the camaraderie that defines life on the rodeo circuit to the calculated relationship cowboys have with risk and fear, Brian reveals how a simple, rugged way of life holds timeless lessons for today’s chaotic world. He shares how visualization, mindset, and discipline became not just tools for success in the arena, but cornerstones for navigating relationships, setbacks, and personal growth.

Together, Pam and Brian explore the balance between toughness and empathy, the power of the law of attraction, and why sometimes the simplest truths cut the deepest. The conversation culminates in the exciting vision of a Grit & Grace retreat, designed to help others reconnect with their authentic selves through cowboy logic, resilience, and straight-shooting simplicity.

This episode is a rare blend of cowboy grit and heartfelt grace—a reminder that sometimes the wisdom we need most comes from dusty arenas, wide-open skies, and the courage to live unapologetically real.

Check out gritandgraceretreats.com and pamrader.com to see how you can connect with our community.

1. Shattering

2. Withdrawal

3. Internalizing Rejection

4. Rage

5. Lifting

These stages go beyond the traditional grief model—and straight into the heart of what it really feels like to lose someone you love. Whether you're reeling from a breakup, navigating divorce, or processing an unexpected ending, this episode offers you compassion, clarity, and truth.

Drawing from my personal experience, I open up about the emotional and biochemical rollercoaster that heartbreak creates. You’ll learn about the dopamine crash, why the 30-day no-contact rule works like a detox, and how to survive the rawness of withdrawal without losing yourself in it.

This is not about rushing your healing.
It’s about normalizing the pain, making sense of the madness, and reminding you:
✨ You are not alone.
✨ You are not broken.
✨ And you will rise.

If you're in the thick of it, this one’s for you. 💗

• Join our free community for support and coaching:

  Absolutely—this sounds like a powerful and vulnerable episode. Here’s a title and a set of show notes that capture the emotional depth and insight of your message while inviting listeners in:

  "Heartbreak Recovery: The 5 Stages No One Talks About"

  In this raw and real solo episode, I share the 5 often overlooked stages of healing from heartbreak:

  1. Shattering

  2. Withdrawal

  3. Internalizing Rejection

  4. Rage

  5. Lifting

  These stages go beyond the traditional grief model—and straight into the heart of what it really feels like to lose someone you love. Whether you're reeling from a breakup, navigating divorce, or processing an unexpected ending, this episode offers you compassion, clarity, and truth.

  Drawing from my personal experience, I open up about the emotional and biochemical rollercoaster that heartbreak creates. You’ll learn about the dopamine crash, why the 30-day no-contact rule works like a detox, and how to survive the rawness of withdrawal without losing yourself in it.

  This is not about rushing your healing.
  It’s about normalizing the pain, making sense of the madness, and reminding you:
  ✨ You are not alone.
  ✨ You are not broken.
  ✨ And you will rise.

  If you're in the thick of it, this one’s for you. 💗

  • Join our free community for support and coaching: https://www.skool.com/shift-labs-1121/about?ref=2f69a7bd0af64779bb0d0f6243f73378

  • Book a free 30-minute call: pamrader.com Connect with me on Instagram: @pamrader

  • Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it

  
  

• Book a free 30-minute call: [Insert Link]

• Connect with me on Instagram: [@yourhandle]

• Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it

In this episode of Authenticity Unleashed, I sit down with Cindy Legare, a wellness mindset coach who helps high achievers create lasting transformation by addressing the subconscious mind. Cindy’s work goes beyond surface-level strategies, diving deep into the beliefs that shape our behaviors—because without a shift in the mind, change in the body (or life) won’t stick.

We explore:

• Why mindset is the missing link in sustainable weight loss and self-image transformation.

• The difference between traditional coaching and subconscious reprogramming.

• How emotional blind spots keep us stuck and what to do about them.

• Cindy’s signature “Mind Shit to Mind Shifts” approach to rewiring beliefs, one bite and one belief at a time.

• Practical ways to shift your thinking for more of what you want and less of what you don’t.

This conversation is packed with insight, humor, and practical wisdom to help you break free from limiting beliefs and create real, lasting change. Tune in and learn how to stop letting your mindshit hold you back!

Check out Cindy at cindylegare.com

Follow her on Instagram @cindylegare

Episode #42: Authenticity Unleashed – A Conversation with Andres Schabelman, Author of Captains Wanted

In Episode #42 of Authenticity Unleashed, we dive into a profound conversation with Andres Schabelman, author of the forthcoming novel Captains Wanted. Andres, a former tech entrepreneur who was among the first 30 employees at Airbnb and later served as VP of International Expansion at Fiverr, has transitioned into the creative arts as a comedian, actor, writer, and travel host.

Drawing from his rich cultural background—born to Argentine-Jewish parents and raised within a Catholic-Colombian community in New Orleans—Andres shares insights into his journey of self-discovery and authenticity.

In this episode, we delve into:

• Identity and Self-Alignment: Exploring the challenges of fitting in, pleasing others, and the masks we wear, as depicted in Captains Wanted.
• Staying in Our Goodness: Discussing the importance of remaining true to oneself amidst external pressures.
• The Cost of Validation Seeking vs. Living Authentically: Analyzing how the pursuit of external approval can lead to self-abandonment.
• The Tenderness of Revealing Our True Selves: Reflecting on the vulnerability involved in embracing and expressing our authentic identities.

Andres’s novel offers a beautiful story that sheds light on the journey back to self and to living in alignment with our true values. This episode is filled with insights and inspiration for anyone seeking to reconnect with their authenticity.

For more about Andres and his work, visit his official website.

Captains Wanted is available for pre-order now.

In this episode:

• The rise of “boss babe” as armor vs. authentic power

• Why softness started to feel unsafe—and how to change that

• River & riverbanks: a simple map for masculine/feminine balance

• Resentment as self-abandonment (and the RAS trap that keeps it alive)

• From complaints to clear requests: scripts that land

• Rest as a strategy, not a reward

• Creating a safe inner “container” so you can flow again

Try this: Reflection prompts

• Where am I leading from fear or proving?

• What part of me is ready to soften?

• What unspoken expectation am I holding (that could become a clean request)?

• Where can I practice surrender without losing power?

One simple script
“When X happens, the story I make up is __. The impact is __ and I notice myself pulling away. What would help me feel respected/seen is __. Could we try that?”

If this resonated:

• Share the episode with a friend who’s tired of hustling to feel worthy.

• Rate & review—your words help the show reach the right ears.

• Join the Grit & Grace Retreat waitlist for Spring 2026—early bird details go to the list first. pamrader.com/gritandgrace

What if dating wasn’t about finding the one—but becoming the one?

In this episode of Authenticity Unleashed, I sit down with dating coach Tyler Dudding, who specializes in helping high-value women attract emotionally available, aligned partners without settling or self-abandoning. We dive deep into why the dating game has shifted—and how conscious women can stop chasing and start magnetizing love that actually feels good.

Tyler shares his signature framework for calling in partnership from a place of personal power, why the desire for masculine leadership in relationships is not outdated, and how dating becomes a portal for self-growth when you do the inner work. We also explore why dating apps might not be serving your highest self and what to focus on instead.

This conversation is part relationship strategy, part soul evolution. Whether you're single, dating, or in a situationship that’s draining you—this episode will offer new insights, healing truths, and empowering perspectives.

Tune in if you’re ready to:

• Attract a conscious, emotionally mature partner

• Stop overgiving or “performing” in dating

• Let go of low-effort connections and claim high-value love

• Turn your dating journey into a powerful personal development path

💌 If this episode speaks to you, don’t forget to share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram with your biggest insight.

Check out Tylerdudding.com and follow him on IG @tylerdudding

Have you ever felt like you were meant for more—but something keeps holding you back? Maybe you hesitate to speak up, you downplay your expertise, or you’re waiting for the “right time” to finally step into your full potential.

Here’s the truth: Playing small comes at a cost. And it’s not just lost opportunities—it’s lost confidence, lost growth, and lost impact.

In today’s episode, I’m unpacking why we shrink ourselves, how to recognize the hidden costs of playing small, and, most importantly, how to break free from fear and start stepping into your power.

Because you weren’t made to sit in the shadows—you were made to shine. And the world needs your voice, your leadership, and your impact.

In this episode, we cover:
✅ How to recognize where you’re playing small in your life and business
✅ The hidden cost of underestimating yourself (and why it’s keeping you stuck)
✅ 4 powerful steps to start playing bigger today
✅ A bold challenge to push past fear and take action

Plus, I’ll share a personal story of when I held myself back—and what it took to finally step into my next level.

🔥 Take Action Now: What’s one bold step you’re going to take today? Share it with me! Send a DM on Instagram (@pamrader), or post in The Shift Collective to be part of the conversation.

🚀 Ready to stop playing small for good?
If you’re ready to step into leadership, own your voice, and build unshakable confidence, my Leadership Unleashed program is designed to help you do exactly that. Join us now and start leading from a place of clarity, power, and impact.

🎯 Enroll Here: [Insert link to Leadership Unleashed]

📩 Want a free resource to go deeper?
Join my Skool community, The Shift Collective, for exclusive coaching, self-leadership tools, and support from a community of growth-minded leaders. It’s free to join!

🔗 Join The Shift Collective Here: https://www.skool.com/shift-labs-1121/about

💬 Tag me on Instagram – @pamrader and share your biggest takeaway!
⭐ Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it helps others find the show!
🎧 Subscribe so you never miss an episode!

👉 Remember: The only thing standing between you and your next level is the choice to step forward. Let’s do this together.

#AuthenticityUnleashed #StopPlayingSmall #LeadershipUnleashed #MindsetShift #StepIntoYourPower

We took their brilliant insights and pulled them apart through our own lived experience — sharing real examples, honest reflections, and what this work actually looks like inside long-term relationships. From the pull of the adaptive child to the responsibility of the wise adult, we explore why harmony isn’t the goal — repair is.

Terry Real’s teachings have influenced so much of how we approach relational work, and this episode is both a reflection on his ideas and an invitation to practice them in real life — imperfectly, consciously, and with courage.

If you care about your relationships and want tools that actually work when things get hard, this one’s for you.

Join us at the Grit & Grace Retreat to explore this work in an embodied, grounded way — in community, in nature, and in real time

. https://pamrader.com/gritandgrace

For more information on how to work with Pam please visit pamrader.com or shiftlabs.ca

Follow Coach Erin Payne on Instagram @_epayne_

With raw stories and real talk, they explore the power of vulnerability, self-acceptance, and authenticity, inviting you to make space for your inner child and embrace the freedom of living true to yourself. This is a conversation about letting old identities fall away so that something more real—and more whole—can rise.

If you’ve ever wondered why “finding your purpose” still feels empty, this episode will show you that what you’re really seeking is wholeness.

Check out gritandgraceretreats.com to get on the waitlist for our next retreat.

Work with Pam at pamrader.com

Work with Erin at erinpayne.ca

In this powerful episode, Pam sits down with Cynthia Moore, author of Dancing on Coals, to explore how trauma can become a profound catalyst for personal growth and healing. Together, they discuss the importance of expanding our capacity to be with discomfort, the distinction between the wounded self and the higher self, and simple yet potent techniques to become more present and reconnect with ourselves.

This conversation offers insight, hope, and practical tools for anyone seeking to navigate life’s challenges with greater presence, resilience, and inner wisdom.

In this heartfelt and inspiring episode, I am joined by Paige Mathison, clinical counsellor, motivational speaker, and founder of Another Chapter Counselling in Kelowna, BC. Paige brings her unique background in psychiatric nursing, trauma-informed care, music, and comedy to explore the transformative power of laughter, presence, and play in healing ourselves and others.

• Workplace Mental Health Injuries: The challenges of navigating mental health in professional environments and the importance of systemic change to prioritize well-being.
• The Power of Laughter and Humour: How laughter can combat shame, heal trauma, and serve as a catalyst for connection and resilience.
• Presence and Play: Why cultivating presence and inviting play into our lives are essential for joy, healing, and living authentically.
• Re-humanizing Systems: Paige's mission to bring humanity back to healthcare, leadership, and other systems that often overlook individual needs.
• Small Moments, Big Impact: The ripple effects of aligning with values, embracing resilience, and finding joy in the everyday.

With over a decade of experience in psychiatric nursing, Paige Mathison is passionate about helping people uncover their strengths, heal from life’s challenges, and reconnect with their joy and purpose. As a clinical counsellor, she uses her trauma-informed approach to inspire resilience and authenticity in everyone she works with.

Her dynamic combination of mental health expertise, music, and comedy allows Paige to bring a light-hearted yet profound perspective to her work. Whether speaking to healthcare professionals, trauma survivors, or leaders, she champions the importance of reducing burnout and embracing laughter as a healing tool.

Paige’s mission is to empower individuals and systems to live and operate in alignment with their values, demonstrating the transformative power of resilience and joy.

• Instagram & TikTok: @EmbracingJoys
• X (formerly Twitter): @Embracing_Joys

This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to laugh a little more, heal a little deeper, and live a lot more authentically. Tune in and let Paige inspire you to find the joy in your own journey!

In this captivating episode of Authenticity Unleashed, Pam Rader sits down with former NHL player Aaron Volpatti for a deep dive into the mindset and resilience required to overcome life’s biggest challenges. Aaron shares his remarkable journey from small-town kid to professional hockey player, illustrating how visualization and relentless determination fueled his success both on and off the ice.

Together, Pam and Aaron explore:

• The Power of Visualization: How crafting a clear mental picture of your goals can shape your reality.
• The Relentless Pursuit of Dreams: Insights on staying the course when the odds are stacked against you.
• Adversity as Preparation for Greatness: Why the struggles we face can serve as the ultimate training ground for success.
• A Primal Fascination with Fighting: A candid look at the role of fighting in hockey and what it reveals about human nature.
• The Hidden Gift of Bullying: While bullying is undeniably painful, Aaron reflects on how it shaped his character and resilience.

This conversation is a powerful reminder of the strength within all of us to rise above adversity and turn challenges into opportunities for growth. Whether you’re chasing your dreams, recovering from setbacks, or simply looking for inspiration, this episode delivers.

Resources & Links:

• Learn more about Aaron Volpatti and his story ataaronvolpatti.com

• Pam’s Authenticity Unleashed community and coaching programs: Shiftlabs.ca or join our free Skool Community at https://www.skool.com/shift-labs-1121

Join the Conversation:
Did this episode inspire you? Share your thoughts and tag us on social media! @pamrader @aaronvolpatti

Tune in now to Authenticity Unleashed for this empowering and heartfelt discussion. 🎧

This episode dives into the role that communication plays in our success and why you should invest in getting more proficient at it.

Through personal stories and soulful reflections, Pam and Erin share how resilience is built in the trenches of life, how grace reveals itself when we least expect it, and how community can become the medicine we didn’t know we needed. With gentle humor, real talk, and a touch of magic, they invite you to see grit not as a grind but as the polish that shapes us.

If you’ve ever longed for a place where you feel understood, encouraged, and reminded that you’re not alone—this is it. Welcome to Grit and Grace.

Check out gritandgraceretreats.com and pamrader.com to see how you can connect with our community!

Anita shares her journey of having the courage to let go over and over again to continue to make space for what's next in her life. This episode is full of heartful gems and a wealth of wisdom to leave you touched, moved and inspired!

Dr. Nancy Crowell is a trained Doctor of Oriental medicine, functional medicine and a transformational nervous system coach. Her unique approach uncovers the thoughts and emotions at the core of any dis-ease and then incorporates this inner healing along with client-specific protocols for nutrition and well-being.

She’s been featured in places like Every Day Health, Medium, Oh Wabi Sabi, hosted the 5 season Conscious Eating Summit, the 3 season Limitless Energy Summit and is known among high-achieving entrepreneurs and celebs as THE expert and coach to radically transform their health so they can actually enjoy the freedom lifestyle they’re creating.

In this powerful episode Dr. Nancy and I dive into how the nervous system may be the root cause of most health issues and what you can do about it. Dr. Cowell drops some incredible wisdom that will change the way you think about trauma, health and healing.

You can find her at https://www.drnancycrowell.com/

or on IG @drnancycrowell

Pam sits down with Brian for a straight-talk conversation about masculine and feminine energy—minus the jargon and the rented Lamborghinis. What starts as a discussion about polarity quickly turns into something much more honest: how men and women can actually understand each other, communicate better, and meet in authenticity instead of blame.

From the old “protect and provide” script to the confusion modern men feel about being strong and soft, Brian brings a grounded, every-day voice to a topic that’s often over-theorized. His practical, good-humored “cowboy wisdom” balances Pam’s heart-led insight, giving listeners a fuller, more human perspective on how we can all show up—vulnerably, responsibly, and real.

Together they unpack:

• Why “roles” aren’t the problem—disconnection is

• What happens when women try to feel safe through control, and men try to love through protection

• How to listen without defensiveness and speak without blame

• Why communication—not polarity—is the real secret to healthy relationships

• The Cowboy’s take on what it means to “man up” without armouring up

This isn’t the polished “evolved male” narrative you see online—it’s something rarer: a real man, willing to get honest about confusion, softness, and what peace feels like on the other side of pretending.

If you’ve ever wondered what men are actually thinking, or how to make love feel less like keeping score and more like being seen, this episode is your invitation to slow down, drop the labels, and listen.

Want more grit-to-grace conversations (and maybe a campfire chat with the Cowboy)?
Join the Grit & Grace Retreat waitlist at pamrader.com

Now an international speaker with a celebrated Ted Ex talk, a Redbull Documentary based on his journey, the author of "Never Part of the Plan" and a mental health expert who is a living example of the power of gratitude, Mike Shaw is an extraordinary guest.

We dive into recreating identity, grappling with grief and the power of gratitude to heal body, mind and spirit.

This episode will leave you in awe of the power of the mind.

For more information on Mike Shaw and his journey check out mikeshawski.com

In this episode of Grit & Grace, Pam and Erin reflect on their experience at the Pathmaker Awards on International Women’s Day and explore a powerful truth about living an authentic life:

If you’re truly walking in alignment, you will be misunderstood.

And that’s not a problem—it’s the price of living truthfully.

Together they unpack the hidden ways we spend our lives managing other people’s perceptions, why the need to be understood can quietly sabotage our freedom, and how developing the courage to stand in your truth can change everything.

This conversation touches on family dynamics, people-pleasing, entrepreneurship, reinvention, and the quiet strength it takes to live a life that doesn’t always make sense to others.

Because the truth is:
When you stop trying to explain yourself to everyone… you finally have the energy to build the life that’s actually yours.

And along the way, you might just become the lighthouse that shows other “misfit toys” they’re not alone.

• Why alignment often leads to being misunderstood

• The hidden cost of trying to manage other people’s perceptions

• How people-pleasing is often rooted in the fear of being misunderstood

• Why defending your choices actually weakens your position

• The paradox of validation vs. self-worth

• Family dynamics and the experience of being the “black sheep”

• Why true leadership requires the courage to be disliked

• How to question the fears that keep you stuck in misalignment

• Why finding your tribe of fellow weirdos matters

• “The truth doesn’t need defending.”

• “The only two people I need applause from are my five-year-old self and my eighty-five-year-old self.”

• “If you want to belong, become a place where others belong.”

• “When we live someone else’s life, it’s poison.”

If this conversation resonates with you and you’re ready to explore deeper alignment in your own life, we would love to spend time with you in person.

Join us at the Grit & Grace Retreat
📍 Spring Lake Ranch — 100 Mile House, BC
📅 May 21–24

Expect meaningful conversations, yoga, breathwork, campfires, horses, line dancing, two-stepping with the Cowboy, and a community of beautiful humans who aren’t afraid to be a little weird.

Come meet your fellow ragamuffins and misfit toys.

You can find the retreat details in the link below.

If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need the reminder that they’re allowed to live life on their own terms.

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It was such a pleasure to share this conversation with Alex and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Brent Hayter can be found at PR Couselling on Instagram and you can look him up in Psychology Today to find out more.