Circle In: The Family Leadership Center Podcast

026: Family Calendar: The Secret to More Connection and Less Chaos

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 05 Dec 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Are you the sole family scheduler? Drowning in "Mom/Dad, what are we doing?" questions? You're not alone! Being the only one managing the schedule can lead to stress, chaos, and missed opportunities for connection.

This week, we reveal the simple hack that transforms your family dynamic: the Family Calendar. 🗓️

When you talk about the schedule together and give everyone a voice, you don't just cut down on questions—you increase connection, teach responsibility, and boost cooperation.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

Why being the "Schedule Hero" actually hurts family teamwork.
How to use a shared calendar to intentionally carve out time for everyone's needs (school, work), wants (activities), and wishes (downtime).
Practical tips for teaching responsibility in your family.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. What questions or thoughts come up for you? Please share any original, or exciting ways you use and review the family calendar. We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🌮 Read more about Paige's Recipe for a Taco Night

♥️ Our Family Meeting Kit is AVAILABLE! Order yours today.

👥 Online Community: A supportive space where you get: expert answers to your questions, live workshops, coaching, downloadable content, and more!

🧘🏼 Join Paige's Self-Care for Parents online workshop. Self-care isn't selfish, it's a powerful parenting tool. December 17th, 12-1pm ET via Zoom.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

001: Peace Begins at Home

Family Leadership Center — Thu, 19 Sep 2024 13:28:00 GMT

When we get stuck thinking the kids have to change so we can calm down, we often end up using relationship draining tools like nagging, yelling, or ignoring. In this podcast, we share relationship building skills to use in the moment of emotional upset and preventative strategies to avoid dysregulation in the future. For more from Family Leadership Center, find us online at familyleadershipcenter.org

012: Breaking Mom Myths: The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 09 May 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Our gift to you this Mother's Day is a conversation about busting the Mom Myths that leave us anxious and overwhelmed. We'll share some of the myths we've personally believed, along with the ones we hear most often from colleagues and clients. And, most importantly, we'll offer low-effort, high-impact ways to care for your child's beloved Mom—you.

Join the Conversation: Share your own Mom Myth plus the ways you take good care of YOU. Share your thoughts on social media Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts. Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week.

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

👭Adult Friendships spark joy! Paige's interviews Jenny Wallace about her book, Never Enough.

💆Pampering vs. Self-Care

🔍Check out Episode 010: Whose Problem is it Anyway? for a refresher!

♥️ Marjie mentioned this German study on self-compassion.

📻 Unsung Hero Story

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

025: Family Meeting: The Art & Magic of Encouragement Questions

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 10:00:00 GMT

With the holidays fast approaching, oftentimes family time shifts into high gear—and that means a perfect chance to connect!

This week, we're giving you a simple, powerful tool called the Encouragement Question. It's built on a core idea: when kids (or even adults!) act out, it's often because they feel discouraged.

While it's a standard piece of your Family Meeting, it's actually a superpower you can use anywhere. Encouragement Questions are simply practice for listening without commenting. Just focus on hearing their thoughts, not shaping them. 🧘‍♀️

Quick Tips for a Great Question:

Keep it Open: Your question needs to be open-ended (there are no right or wrong answers!).
No Pressure Zone: Encourage people to pass if they don't want to answer—zero pressure! 🙅‍♂️

Why This Works

This low-stakes activity helps everyone—from the toddler to the teens—feel heard, valued, and understood, building mattering in real-time. By genuinely making space for silly thoughts or deep feelings, you send a powerful signal: who they are today is completely enough. ❤️

Pro Tip: Jot down hilarious or insightful answers! It's fun to look back at their wisdom later. ✍️

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. We would love to hear your original encouragement questions so we can share with our listeners. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

📋Grab your PDF of Encouragement Questions

🎧 Louise and Marjie talk about the Essence of Encouragement
♥️ We are getting rave reviews, order your kit for the holidays now! Family Meeting Kit is AVAILABLE!

💻 Want more Positive Parenting Tips? Join Paige for a 1 hour online workshop November 19th.

🎁 Join our annual giving campaign so we can widen our Circle.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

004: Parenting Hacks: 10 Ways to Foster Cooperation Through Chores

Family Leadership Center — Tue, 03 Dec 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Are you tired of nagging, bribing, or arguing to get your kids to do their chores? You are not alone! We had great feedback on our last episode and we were inspired to create this special BONUS episode, where we dive into 10 practical and creative strategies to make chores a smoother (and even enjoyable!) experience for your family. Whether you're dealing with toddlers, tweens, or teens, there's something here to help turn resistance into cooperation!

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Executive Director of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Certified Parent Educator and Coach at Balancing Act

Donate

🎁🎁 Double Your Gift: Matching Grant Through December 31, 2024

Resources

🧹Chores Without Wars: Turning Housework into Teamwork by Riki Intner and Lynn Lott

🧽Splish, Splash, Chores: Chores and Training Blog

📝Want to learn more? Check out this 60 minute PEP (Parent Encouragement Program) Webinar

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Balancing Act's newsletter

031: Unlocking Cooperation and Confidence: The 4 Crucial Cs

Family Leadership Center — Wed, 18 Feb 2026 10:00:00 GMT

What if your child isn't giving you a hard time, but is actually having a hard time because their internal buckets are empty? This week, we offer a powerful reframe for those moments of defiance and meltdown using the 4 Crucial Cs: Connect, Capable, Count, and Courage. When our needs go unmet, we often resort to "useless" behaviors—like power struggles or constant interruptions—to find a sense of belonging. By first noticing and then attending to these needs, you can transform your home into a place where respect comes first, and where everyone feels they truly matter.

🤝 Connect: Replace annoying attention-seeking with ten minutes of undivided "Special Time" to reinforce a feeling of belonging.
🛠️ Capable: Trade power struggles for intentional training, allowing kids to gain the mastery they crave through real-world skills.
🙉 Count: Listen to their perspective first so they feel their voice matters, turning "revenge" into its alter-ego–an ability to contribute meaningfully.
🏔️Courage: Normalize failure to build the resilience needed to face life without the paralysis of perfectionism.

📝Home Play: It might be helpful to consider home as the laboratory where we all can learn, practice and grow. Allow yourself to practice some of the ideas we share on the podcast. It takes courage to make mistakes.

This week we invite you to consider one strength of a child in your life today. Write it down. Next, think when, where and how you'll share this strength with them.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Need advice on how to help your child(ren) feel connected, capable, that they count or courageous? We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Listen Again to Episode 016: The Hidden Truth About Power Struggles

♥️ Read Paige's blog about how to Stay Encouraged (little things can make a big difference).

🧰Pick up a Family Meeting Toolkit if you don't already have one!

🤝Join our community and share what happens when you look for strengths and celebrate them with the children in your life!

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

009: Family Harmony Starts with Problem Identification: Here's How

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 28 Mar 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Many families have someone (often one of the parents) who is super capable and takes over the task of problem solving in the family. The challenge is that even if their ideas are great, they can run into trouble if the others don't buy into their solutions. What if we told you we have a tool that can help you focus, lower your emotions and get you into positive change? We have one and it's called problem identification! Today we focus on the importance of recognizing challenges without shame or blame. We discuss how pinpointing the core issue can lead to more effective solutions and open, compassionate conversations. Problem ID is a tool for families to address concerns without judgment, fostering a healthier, more understanding environment. Whether it's communication breakdowns, emotional needs, or different expectations, learning to identify the problem with empathy and respect can transform family dynamics. (As mentioned, check out Podcast 007 to hear Marjie & Louisa–Marjie's daughter–talk about the problem of people in a teenager's room!)

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Executive Director of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Balancing Act

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter and Wendy Tracy.

Donate

🎁🎁 Double Your Gift: Matching Grant!

Resources

🤹Alyson Schafer's new paradigm on parenting: When Being Too Nice Isn't So Nice

🔍Problem Identification Pocket Guide: What's the Headline? By Family Leadership Center

⏰Learn more and get on the waitlist for our upcoming Family Meeting Class

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Balancing Act's newsletter

010: Whose Problem is it Anyway? Understanding Problem Ownership

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 11 Apr 2025 09:00:00 GMT

As parents so often we get so wrapped up in issues- which aren't even ours to solve! Today, we tackle a question that every parent faces: Who really owns the problem—the child or the parent? Marjie and Paige explore the delicate balance between our own problems, our kids' problems, and a shared problem. Once we are clear whose problem it is, we know whether we need to take action, offer support, or discuss solutions.

We see how getting clear on who owns the problem helps us respond in the most effective way—whether it's stepping back, offering guidance, or finding a solution together. Problem ownership helps us get out of convincing and over explaining. From forgotten soccer shoes to help with setting the table, we discuss how parents can determine when to step back and when to step in. Whether you're a parent of a toddler, teenager, adult, or somewhere in between, this episode offers valuable insights into raising resilient, independent children while still offering the love and support they need. Tune in and you might just discover it's not your problem!

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Executive Director of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Balancing Act

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter and Wendy Tracy.

Resources

📋Learn more and get on the waitlist for our upcoming Family Meeting Class

⁉️Having trouble ID'ing your problems? We'd love to help, send an email to: questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

📒PocketGuide: Problem ID + Problem Ownership

⏰If you have the problem of Morning Mayhem, here's an affirmation for you!

🔍Check out Episode 009 for a refresher on Problem ID

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Balancing Act's newsletter

018: Finding Strengths: The Essence of Encouragement

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 01 Aug 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Join Louisa and Marjie Longshore at their kitchen table as they talk about an essential aspect of encouragement: finding strengths. They explore a powerful, and surprisingly simple, strategy for turning interpersonal challenges into shared successes, fostering more connection, fun, and engagement. Louisa shares how she built a habit of strength-finding in others (and herself) and grew a stronger team at work as a result.

💬Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. We'd love to hear how you helped your child (or yourself) find your strengths. Or if you struggle, let us know, we can work on it together.

send us a voice message through our Speakpipe
leave us an anonymous written message
email us questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

🩵Follow us on Instagram

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Louisa Longshore, Sailor, Camp Counselor, Student

Special thanks to our editor Max Cotter, and our team Marike Pienaar and Wendy Tracy. You make a valuable difference.

Resources

💪🏽To focus on strengths check out Episode 011 for a refresher on Noticing What's Right

💓Read Paige's Blog on Encouragement

🔬More science based tips on how amplifying strengths in parenting can help your kids.

📖 The CircleIN podcast from Family Leadership Center is based on Adlerian philosophy, including the work of Dr. Alfred Adler. Dr. Adler's core needs were translated into The Four Crucial Cs by Drs. Amy Lew and Betty Lou Bettner. The Cs are: Connect (belonging), Capable (movement, progress), Count (significance, mattering), Courage (encouragement).

Ansbacher, H. L., & Ansbacher, R. R. 1956. The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler, Basic Books. New York.
Bettner, B.L. & Lew, A. 1989. Raising Kids Who Can. Connexions Press. MA. (available for sale at familyleadershipcenter.org)
Dreikurs, R. & Soltz, V. 1964. Children: The Challenge. Hawthorn Books. New York.

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034: What's Your Style? Parenting on Purpose

Family Leadership Center — Wed, 01 Apr 2026 09:00:00 GMT

Does your day start with gentle good mornings and end with drill sergeant vibes? If you find yourself swinging from the Permissive Parent at breakfast ("Eat your breakfast, okay?") to the Autocratic Parent by bedtime ("Get in bed, NOW!!!"), you aren't alone. In fact, many parents find themselves caught in this pendulum swing, trying to be kind but eventually losing their patience when things don't get done.

In this episode, Marjie and Paige explore the four parenting styles and how they shape the roles our children play.

The Four Styles at a Glance:

🍭 The Permissive Parent (The "Feel Good" Approach): High warmth, low limits. We prioritize harmony and happiness. While it feels nice in the moment, we might accidentally treat our kids like "guests" in the home, leaving them without the life skills they need.
💂 The Autocratic Parent (The "Look Right" Approach): Low warmth, high limits. We prioritize order and obedience. While things might look "right" on the outside, it often trades long-term connection for short-term compliance—and can leave kids struggling to find their own voice.
📱 The Distracted Parent (The "Hands-Off" Approach): Life is busy, and sometimes we just let them figure it out. However, without our presence and coaching, kids can miss out on the vital training and connection that fuels their growth.
🛠️ The Encouraging Parent (The "Do Good" Approach): The sweet spot! This is High Warmth + High Expectations. We stop trying to "fix" our children and start solving problems with them through mutual respect.

This Week's Home Play: The Detective 🕵️‍♀️

Before we change a single habit, we have to see them!

Don't change a thing yet—just observe. Keep a shame-free log of your default moves:

Which style did your own parents use? (We often repeat what we know or swing to the opposite extreme).
When do you step in to "save" them? (e.g. forgotten lunches, tied shoes, or managing their big emotions for them).
When do you find yourself on repeat? (e.g. shoes, chores, or the "one more minute" screen-time battle).

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Let us know your Parenting Style! We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🤓 Read Paige's PEP blog: To Change the Walk, Start with the Talk describing that clay exercise

🎧 Listen Again: 032 Family Play

♥️ Book a 20-minute Free Parenting Consult with Paige

📚 Explore more on parenting styles in this FLC blog: All About Parenting Styles

🧰Pick up a Family Meeting Toolkit if you don't already have one!

Join our community and share what happens when you look for strengths and share them with the children in your life!

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

033: Out of the Nest: Reverse-Engineer Your Parenting

Family Leadership Center — Wed, 18 Mar 2026 09:00:00 GMT

What if you stopped parenting for today and started parenting for a Tuesday ten years from now? This episode introduces the "Out of the Nest" framework—a powerful exercise that helps you work backward from your long-term vision to handle today's reality. By shifting your focus from "fixing the behavior" to "building the human," you transform navigating family life into the exact training ground your kids need.

Paige and Marjie share:

The Dinner Guest Test: Imagine your child at age 30, knocking on your door for dinner. We look at the qualities you hope they have then (like resilience and kindness) and how the challenges you're facing now can become the gifts to develop those qualities.
What Tools Work?: We audit the common tools—nagging, rescuing, reminding, and punishing—and ask the hard question: Are these methods actually building the skills required for an independent adult?
Challenges as Opportunities: Learn how to reframe a screen-time battle or a sibling spat as a specific opportunity to teach self-advocacy and accountability.

Instead of acting as a short-term manager, start acting as a long-term mentor. Your home is the primary social laboratory— where everyone learns that mistakes don't define them, and the skills to navigate the challenges of life.

✍️Home Play: Imagine your child is 30 years old and visiting you. What is one quality you hope they have? Now, look at a struggle you had with them recently—how could that challenge be utilized to grow and practice that specific quality?

💬Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. We'd love to hear your thoughts on the "Out of the Nest" framework and answer your questions. Share your thoughts anonymously here, on Instagram, or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Take another listen to 004: Parenting Hacks: 10 Ways to Foster Cooperation Through Chores

♥️ Read Paige's Blog: The Path of Parenting

⚒️A parent's perspective on raising responsible, caring humans: Teaching Kids to Be Capable

🧰Pick up a Family Meeting Toolkit if you don't already have one!

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

032: The Family Play: Designing a Stage Where Everyone Can Shine

Family Leadership Center — Wed, 04 Mar 2026 10:00:00 GMT

Imagine your family dynamic is a play where the stage is set, the scenery is in place and the play is already underway. When children join the play, they interpret the family stage and then cast themselves in a role to find their own place (i.e. as "the funny one"). When you view your home through this lens, you gain the levity needed to stop "fixing" your kids and start enjoying your family's unique performance.

🔦 Your Spotlight: Notice how your children may become polar opposites to avoid competing for your attention, carving out unique space to ensure they belong.
🎭 Your Script: Realize that what you label "misbehavior" is often just a mismatch between your child's natural rhythm and the script you've established for the house.
🧥 Your Casting: When you stop casting your kids in rigid roles, you give them the freedom to take off old "costumes" and try on healthier ways of interacting with you.

Instead of acting as a stressed-out director trying to control every line, try being a curious producer who sees possibilities and appreciates the nuances of your family's show.

Home Play: This week's invitation is to notice and name a "role" you've accidentally cast a child in (e.g., "The athletic/good/bad/smart one" and catch them acting out of character this week, acknowledging the moment with a simple, neutral observation.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🧰Pick up a Family Meeting Toolkit if you don't already have one!

🎧 Take another listen to Episode 011: The Power of Noticing + Shining a Light on Strengths: How Positive Attention Builds Cooperation

🍻Read Paige's Blog, People are Prisms

♥️ Want to know more about Temperament

🤝Join our community

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

030: 5 Guidelines For Your Parenting Journey

Family Leadership Center — Wed, 04 Feb 2026 10:00:00 GMT

Between the morning scramble and the bedtime battles, it's easy for our homes to feel like a series of fires we're constantly trying to put out. This week, Paige and Marjie break down five essential guidelines designed to shift your home from a place of friction to a place of partnership.

Respect for self and others: We share how to balance essential self-care with empathy and establish boundaries to prevent burnout.
Trust & confidentiality: Why "public" correction is the enemy of connection. Learn how to foster a safe environment where kids feel secure enough to solve problems creatively.
Encourage each other: The power of shifting from nagging to noticing and how validating effort and contribution—rather than just results—can be a game changer.
Be responsible for getting your needs met: Model responsibility by clearly communicating your own needs instead of expecting mind-reading.
Be willing to experiment: Trade rigidity for curiosity. If a strategy fails, simply "reboot" with a new approach.

🛠️ This Week's Challenge

Don't try to overhaul everything at once! Pick just one guideline and apply it to a high-stress transition this week (like the morning rush or meal time). Notice how the atmosphere shifts when you apply one of the guidelines.

The End of Mind-Reading: Are you waiting for your family to "just know" what you need? We talk about modeling radical responsibility by communicating your needs clearly and kindly.
The Power of the Reboot: Trade rigidity for curiosity. If a plan fails, you haven't failed—you're just in an experiment. Learn how to "reboot" without the guilt.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Need advice on any parenting issue? We'd love to hear your family guidelines. We are always here to answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Check out Alyson Schafer's encouraging podcast: Parenting the Adlerian Way

✅ Learn more about Dr. Karen John's work

👀 Watch Karen John's 2020 presentation on democratic leadership here.

♥️ Join our New Neighborhood: Circle In Online Community

🧰Pick up a Family Meeting Toolkit if you don't already have one!

📖Read Paige's short blog: An Ode to Encouragement

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

016: The Hidden Truth About Power Struggles (It's Not About Control)

Family Leadership Center — Mon, 30 Jun 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Think your child is just being difficult? Think again. We reveal the surprising reasons behind power struggles and how you can shift the dynamic with empathy and clarity. We welcome a favorite guest, Certified Parent Educator, Patti Cancellier. This episode is your blueprint for fewer battles and more peace. Remember, peace begins at home.

_____________________________________________________

💬Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter.

send us a voice message through our Speakpipe
leave us an anonymous written message
email us questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

🩵Follow us on Instagram

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎥 Avoid Power Struggles and Worry About Yourself (hilarious 40 seconds of wisdom)

☕🏚️Paige has a short affirmation to exit the house in the morning without yelling!

📖Check out the book "Parenting Without Power Struggles" Patti mentioned.

🏋️Diminish Power Struggles by growing the C of Capable written by former FLC board member, Andy Hooper.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

028: Beyond the Noise: A Practical Framework for Every Parenting Moment

Family Leadership Center — Wed, 07 Jan 2026 10:00:00 GMT

Do you feel overwhelmed trying to sort through tons of parenting advice—from "gentle parenting" to warnings about "helicopter parenting"? You're not alone! This episode reveals our powerful, comprehensive framework that cuts through the noise and provides you with real-world solutions that solve problems while building the relationship with your child..

In this episode, they share the powerful principles that form the bedrock of everything we do at Family Leadership Center through our Circle In podcast, blog, classes and coaching.

It's not just one magical trick. It's a respectful framework—inspired by Adlerian psychology—that gives you the practical tools to meet the needs of the situation and set up a dignified, mutually respectful environment at home.

✨ What You'll Discover (and How It Can Change Your Family Life)

You'll hear personal stories and examples of how to shift from feeling reactive to parenting confidently, not punitively.

1. The Power of "Private Logic" (And Why You Need to Just Listen)

3. Strong Emotions Are a Learning Experience, Not a Crisis

4. Life's Too Important to Take Seriously

5. It's Not Just Nature or Nurture—It's Your Creative Self

➡️ Listen now to understand why this framework is the reason we've seen incredible, lasting success with families, and how you can start building a truly respectful and effective relationship with your kids.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. What questions come up for you? Want to know more about Adler? We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Parenting is too important to take Seriously! Listen to Episode 021: Barbara Fairfield: Less Drama, More Love: They Key to Peaceful Parenting

♥️ Read Paige's Parenting Journey she calls, The Path of Parenting

💻 Start 2026 off right with your very own Circle In Family Meeting Kit

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

020: Creating Routines, Especially When There is No Time

Family Leadership Center — Sun, 24 Aug 2025 17:56:00 GMT

Do your evenings feel like a second full-time job? Do you just know you need a routine, but don't have time to create one? This episode is for you.

Marjie and Paige dive into the surprising power of creating small, collaborative routines, even when you feel like you don't have time. Drawing from a real-life example of a family struggling with a child's challenging behavior, they reveal how a simple shift in mindset and a few strategic actions can bring a sense of calm, cooperation, and genuine connection back to your family life.

In this episode, you will learn:

A new mindset for busy parents: start seeing routines as a gift, not a burden.
The power of "Special Time": Why prioritizing this intentional connection can be the lever that increases cooperation and capability in all other areas.
The "Do Not Do" list: What to leave out of your routine to prevent overwhelm and maintain focus on what truly matters.

An organized evening isn't just about getting things done; it's about the feeling of peace you have when you put your head on the pillow at night.

💬Join the Conversation Your ideas and questions matter. We'd love to hear how routines helped your child (or yourself). Or if you struggle, let us know, we can work on it together.

send us a voice message through our Speakpipe
leave us an anonymous written message
email us questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

🙏Subscribe & Rate If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

🩵Follow us on Instagram

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, and team Marike Pienaar and Wendy Tracy. You make a valuable difference.

Resources

📋 Join Paige for her live Get Ready with Routines Workshop on August 27th

🎧 Listen to The Present of Your Presence for a refresher on Special Time

🏫 For grade specific tips, read the FLC blog on Back to School Routines

🙉Try PEP's (Parent Encouragement Program) Free Intro: Why Don't My Kids Listen to Me?

👓 Read Paige's blog Routines: A Parenting Super Power

📖 The CircleIN podcast from Family Leadership Center is based on Adlerian philosophy, including the work of Dr. Alfred Adler. Adler's core needs were translated into The Four Crucial Cs by Amy Lew, Ph.D. and Betty Lou Bettner, Ph.D. The Cs are: Connect (belonging), Capable (movement, progress), Count (significance, mattering), Courage (encouragement).

Ansbacher, H. L., & Ansbacher, R. R. 1956. The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler, Basic Books. New York.
Bettner, B.L. & Lew, A. 1989. Raising Kids Who Can. Connexions Press. MA. (available for sale at familyleadershipcenter.org)
Dreikurs, R. & Soltz, V. 1964. Children: The Challenge. Hawthorn Books. New York.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

017: From Bored to Brilliant

Family Leadership Center — Thu, 17 Jul 2025 15:12:00 GMT

Tired of "I'm bored" driving you crazy? 😩 This episode reveals why allowing kids to solve their own boredom can be a secret superpower! Marjie and Paige explore how modern parenting often prevents this crucial experience, and why allowing discomfort can spark incredible creativity and independence. Discover how to create an environment that encourages self-entertainment, building resilience and intrinsic motivation that lasts a lifetime. Get ready to embrace the quiet, trust your child's capabilities, and witness the magic born from doing "nothing." ✨

_____________________________________________________

💬Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. We'd love to hear about boredom in your family. Also, we love hearing your boredom hacks!

send us a voice message through our Speakpipe
leave us an anonymous written message
email us questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

🩵Follow us on Instagram

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🧘🏽How to Be, lessons from a tween

💡From Bored to Brilliant Blog

🎧 Listen to Episode 005 for inspiration on connecting with your child through Special Time

🧹Chores can be boredom busters, done right. Learn how in this short blog, Splish Splash Chores

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

008: Skills for Life: The Power of Family Meetings Revealed: Interview with Alyson Schafer

Family Leadership Center — Thu, 13 Mar 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Family Meeting: a multi-modal tool packed with lifeskills. Alyson Schafer shares valuable wisdom and strategies about Family Meetings–the terrific way to give every child a platform to be able to solve their problems.

This form of family meeting answers these questions:

How do we give voice to everyone in the family?
How do parents demonstrate leadership so everyone can hear each other and work harmoniously together?
If we want to move away from the hierarchy model, what replaces it?

They key stance for this form of leadership:

We're all working towards this shared goal.
We all bring our insights and wisdom.
Mutual respect and social equality are our baseline.
Everyone has value. In this form of leadership, we solve problems instead of discipline people.

Leave energized and inspired to have a family meeting!

Host:

Marjie Longshore, Executive Director of Family Leadership Center, co-host of the CircleUP Podcast

Guest:

Alyson Schafer, a 3rd generation Adlerian and has earned the status of diplomate in Adlerian Psychology. She is a family counsellor and parenting expert and teaches and speaks internationally. At home in Canada, she is a media regular, hosts her own TV show as well as her podcast "Parenting The Adlerian Way". Alyson has 3 parenting books with HarperCollins Canada: Breaking the Good Mom Myth; Honey I Wrecked the Kids; and Ain't Misbehavin'.

Support Family Leadership Center

An Adlerian Non-Profit providing programs and education for parents Double Your Gift: Matching Grant!

Resources

Alyson Schafer + links to her books
Alyson's videos of Family Meeting: Family Meetings - YouTube
Want to be notified when Family Leadership Center launches their new Family Meeting framework and Pocket Guide? Sign up here to be one of the first to get it.
Raising Kids Who Can by Betty Lou Bettner and Amy Lew: available for purchase through Family Leadership Center
FLC Blog Family Meeting / Encouragement Council
FLC Blog Simple Ways You Can Be Encouraging Every Day

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Balancing Act's newsletter

019: Bedtime Battles & Beyond: Finding Your Parenting Power

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 15 Aug 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Join Paige and Marjie on the CircleIn podcast as they tackle a HUGE parenting pain point: sleep! In this fun and practical episode, they chat with working mom Alex, who's struggling with her 3-year-old's nightly visits. Forget those sticker charts! Discover how one simple shift, based on connecting, empowering, and believing in your child, can transform bedtime chaos into peaceful nights. Get ready to feel encouraged, courageous, and equipped with fresh ideas to bring harmony back to your home. Tune in – your sleep (and sanity!) will thank you!

💬Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. We'd love to hear how you solve Bed Time Blues. Or if you struggle, let us know, we can work on it together.

send us a voice message through our Speakpipe
leave us an anonymous written message
email us questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

🩵Follow us on Instagram

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, and team Marike Pienaar and Wendy Tracy. You make a valuable difference.

Resources

💤🥱 Check out American Academy of Pediatrics: Healthy Sleep Habits: How Many Hours Does Your Child Need?

💤Read Paige's blog: Sleep: A Parenting Tool with 7 Tips to get more of it.

💓Like Alex, solve problems with your kids, read 6 Ways You Share Power in Your Home for even more tips.

🎧Listen to our Podcast 009 Family Harmony Starts with Problem Identification: Here's How

🥞Enjoy Alex and Connor's Pancake recipe!

📖 The CircleIN podcast from Family Leadership Center is based on Adlerian philosophy, including the work of Dr. Alfred Adler. Dr. Adler's core needs were translated into The Four Crucial Cs by Drs. Amy Lew and Betty Lou Bettner. The Cs are: Connect (belonging), Capable (movement, progress), Count (significance, mattering), and Courage (encouragement).

Ansbacher, H. L., & Ansbacher, R. R. 1956. The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler, Basic Books. New York.
Bettner, B.L. & Lew, A. 1989. Raising Kids Who Can. Connexions Press. MA. (available for sale at familyleadershipcenter.org)
Dreikurs, R. & Soltz, V. 1964. Children: The Challenge. Hawthorn Books. New York.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

024: Family Meeting Anchor Skills: Share Appreciations and Plan Family Fun

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 31 Oct 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Short on time, feeling stretched thin? Wish you had a magic wand for more cooperation and connection at home? ✨

This week, we're diving into the two powerful anchors of a great family meeting: giving appreciations and planning family fun!

These aren't just agenda items—they're simple, quick skills you can use anytime, anywhere, to transform your family dynamic. Learn how focusing on the good and carving out time to plan for fun together can be your secret weapon against the chaos. Don't just run the house—lead it with love and intentionality. You've got this! ❤️

In this episode, you'll discover:

How a simple "thank you" can boost cooperation instantly. 🤝
Why planning fun actually saves you time (and your sanity). 🥳
Tiny shifts that create huge changes in connection, even when you're busy.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. What questions come up for you? What's your favorite appreciation? Need advice on how to get siblings to appreciate each other? We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Don't forget to Listen to 022: Why Family Meetings Matter

♥️ Our Family Meeting Kit is AVAILABLE! Order yours today.

💻 Want more Positive Parenting Tips? Join Paige for a 1 hour online workshop November 19th.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

023: The Secret Ingredients to Your First Family Meeting: What, When, Where, and Who!

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 10 Oct 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Are you a busy, loving parent ready to transform your family dynamic? You've heard in episode 022 Why Family Meetings Matter how they are a powerful tool for connection, problem-solving, and building skills. Now, in this must-listen episode, we dive into the "what"—the essential, simple ingredients you need to get started.

We break down the core components, offering practical, encouraging advice that makes starting this practice feel achievable, not overwhelming. Learn why consistency is more important than perfection, what a family meeting is not (spoiler: it's not a time to criticize!), and the simple practice that ensures every family member's voice is heard. Discover how these simple structures build capable, confident kids who learn to be both great leaders and useful contributors to a group—skills that last a lifetime!

____________________________________________

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. What questions come up for you? We're curious, do you have any creative roles in your family meetings? Need advice on how to get started? We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Episode 021: Barbara Fairfield: Less Drama, More Love: They Key to Peaceful Parenting on bringing fun and silliness to life.

♥️ Family Meetings are all about sharing power, learn more in 6 Ways You Share Power in Your Home

💻 For a quick refresher on listening check out Paige's Blog, Shhh . . .Just Listen

✏️ Sign up to be the first to receive the toolkit!

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

027: Family Matters - The Practice of Problem Solving

Family Leadership Center — Wed, 17 Dec 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Does Family Conflict Have You Feeling Drained? 🔋

We've all been there: a simple disagreement turns into a "shame spiral," leaving everyone feeling exhausted instead of heard. But what if those tricky moments were actually the secret to a more resilient home?

In this week's podcast, we learn how to flip the script on conflict. Instead of seeing family problems as roadblocks, we're showing you how to treat them as "muscle-building" exercises for your heart and home.

💪 The Essentials: Building Your Problem-Solving Muscle

Problem-solving in your home stems from courage and fostering a mistake-friendly house. This confidence is built through consistent, low-stakes practice.

If we want our kids to trust the process, they need to know their voices carry weight. That's why we recommend starting family meetings by tackling the kids' problems first. When you consider and implement their ideas, you teach them:

Their voice matters.
They are capable problem-solvers.
Mistakes are for learning, not for shaming.

🔥 The takeaway

Problem-solving isn't a talent you're born with—it's a practice you grow. By starting small and staying consistent, you aren't just fixing a "problem"; you're building a family that knows how to work through a challenge together.

Tune in to start building your family's resilience today!

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. What questions or thoughts come up for you? Please share any original, or exciting ways you solve family problems. We are always looking for fresh ideas. We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Re-listen to Episode 10: Whose Problem is it Anyway? Understanding Problem Ownership

♥️ Our Family Meeting Kit is AVAILABLE! Order yours today.

👂Shhh . . .Just Listen, a quick reminder on how to listen (it's actually effortful).

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

014: The Resilience Recipe: The 4 Crucial Cs for Thriving Kids

Family Leadership Center — Mon, 09 Jun 2025 15:22:00 GMT

Ever wonder how to help your child bounce back from challenges, genuinely care for others, and step up responsibly? We get it. The good news is, there's a powerful, yet simple, framework: The 4 Crucial Cs.* These essential building blocks are core needs, and actively nurturing them helps your child connect meaningfully and contribute positively. In today's episode, you will learn how by focusing on the Cs, you'll empower your kids to develop self-discipline, and become confident problem-solvers. Ultimately, this approach fosters true resilience, enabling them to navigate life's ups and downs with grace and strength, ready to embrace responsibility and flourish.

Join the Conversation: We'd love to hear how you helped your child (or yourself) with the 4Cs. Or if you struggle to find ways to incorporate them, let us know, we love to brainstorm with you. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: We'd love to hear from you! Your feedback helps us continue to bring helpful and insightful episodes every week.

You're welcome to email us your parenting questions and challenges, as well as feedback and suggestions for the podcast at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org
Alternatively, send us a voice message through our Speakpipe or leave us an anonymous written message.

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 For more on Special Time or "Hang Time" listen to Episode 005

💪🏽To focus on strengths check out Episode 011 for a refresher on Noticing What's Right

📒PocketGuide: A 4Cs Guide

🌮Read about Paige's family ritual on Taco Night

📝For more about criticism and mattering read Paige's Interview with Jenny Wallace about her book "Never Enough"

Ansbacher, H. L., & Ansbacher, R. R. 1956. The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler, Basic Books. New York.
Bettner, B.L. & Lew, A. 1989. Raising Kids Who Can. Connexions Press. MA. (available for sale at familyleadershipcenter.org)
Dreikurs, R. & Soltz, V. 1964. Children: The Challenge. Hawthorn Books. New York.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

013: Listen Up, Parents! Transform Your Child's Behavior by Hearing What They Really Mean

Family Leadership Center — Thu, 22 May 2025 14:12:00 GMT

What if the key to fewer power struggles wasn't saying more, but saying less?

In this episode, we dive into the power of listening to understand with Certified Parent Educator Patti Cancellier. Through examples and inspiring stories, we explore how simply being present and truly hearing your child can defuse conflict, build connection, and even encourage your child to solve their own problems.

We'll provide actionable guidance on how to practice focused listening in your family. And, you'll discover how listening — without jumping to fix or advise — can be one of your most effective parenting strategies. Tune in to learn why sometimes, the best thing you can say… is nothing at all.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. We'd love to hear how you experienced listening in a new way. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: We'd love to hear from you! Your feedback helps us continue to bring helpful and insightful episodes every week.

You're welcome to email us your parenting questions and challenges, as well as feedback and suggestions for the podcast at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org
Alternatively, send us a voice message through our Speakpipe or leave us an anonymous written message.

We're so excited to hear from you!

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

📚PEP (Parent Encouragement Program) Classes and Webinars. To support parents and caregivers facing job insecurity and high stress for themselves and their families, PEP is offering its Live Monthly Webinars and On-Demand Videos FREE of charge this spring. Use code PEPFREE to access these resources.

🧠 Patti mentioned Dan Siegel's brain explanation when you Flip Your Lid.

🔍Check out Episode 009 for a refresher on Problem Identification

🤫💕Paige's Blog: Shhhhh, just Listen!

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

015: From Screen Stress to Family Harmony: Simple Strategies to Tame Technology

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 20 Jun 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Tired of the screen time struggle? Discover how to influence (not just control!) your kids' tech habits with Adlerian (aka encouraging) wisdom! Marjie and Paige share their thoughts on starting with an apology for your part in the struggle. They focus on a myriad of ways to connect, set screen-free zones 📵, and "add in" compelling real-world experiences like adventures & jobs. Let's raise confident, balanced kids together!

💬Join the Conversation: We'd love to hear how you how you feel about parenting today around these tricky topics. Or if you struggle, let us know, we can work on it together.

send us a voice message through our Speakpipe
leave us an anonymous written message
email us questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

🩵Follow us on Instagram

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

💻Paige's blog about the The Anxious Generation

🫱🏼‍🫲🏽Blog on Screen Agreements

📵Get access to Paige's Screens & Teens Guide (good for children of all ages!)

📝Read about the scientific benefits of chores!

🧺🧽 Ultimate Chore List

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

021: Less Drama, More Love: The Key to Peaceful Parenting

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 05 Sep 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Do you ever feel like you're caught in a never-ending cycle of drama with your kids or even your partner? You're not alone! This week, Marjie and Paige sit down with marriage & family therapist Barbara Fairfield, LCMFT, to talk about the Drama Triangle.

Barbara breaks down three roles we often find ourselves playing— Perpetrator, Rescuer, and Victim—and helps us see why this pattern keeps repeating. Here's the good news: we don't have to stay stuck in the drama! When we look at the whole picture and stop blaming each other, it leaves space to build healthier relationships with yourself and with others. 💖

Tune in to discover how to:

Spot the roles you and your family members are playing 🎭
Break the cycle and create healthier interactions 💪
Turn conflict into a chance for connection and growth 🌳

____________________________________________________

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Do you notice the Perpetrator, Victim, Rescuer model in your family dynamic? What questions come up for you? Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Guest

Barbara Fairfield, LCMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Maryland. Barbara was in monthly clinical supervision with David Schnarch for 20 years and began studying with him in 1994. She is a consultant in the Genetics Department of The Johns Hopkins University Hospital where she facilitates a supervision group for the genetic counselors in various clinics there. In her private practice, besides seeing couples and individuals, she also conducts three therapy groups, two all-female and one all-male group. She is married to Don Fairfield, a retired NASA scientist who also trained with Barbara to lead marriage enrichment groups as Specialists with the Better Marriages non-profit organization

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 If you are a natural Rescuer, take a listen to Circle In episode 018 Finding Strengths.

👓Check out the NY Times Article Marjie mentioned about Millennials & children.

🥾Paige shares her hard won lesson on the perils of rescuing in her blog, The Path of Parenting

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

029: The Parenting Voyage

Family Leadership Center — Wed, 21 Jan 2026 10:00:00 GMT

Parenting isn't a destination; it's a voyage. In this episode, Marjie and Paige explore how to build a 'sturdy ship' for your family's journey, swapping reactive parenting for a shared compass of dignity and mutual respect.

Most of us set sail using either a "replica" of our own upbringing or a "reaction" against it. To build a truly flexible parenting vessel, we must move beyond our own anxieties and learn to respond to the actual needs of the situation.

The 4 Pillars of a Sturdy Ship

Reframe the Need: Shift from "How do I feel?" to "What does the situation need?" to help your family move away from shame or blame to working together.
Dignity is Non-Negotiable: Treat your child with the same respect you'd offer a friend because every person on the ship—parent and child alike—is equally deserving of dignity.
Listen to Behavior: Look beneath the surface of "misbehavior" to find the unmet need; quiet yourself, listen for the need instead of reacting to the symptom.
Encouragement Over Criticism: Positive change only grows from strengths, never from weaknesses. Throw away the "red pen" of perfectionism and focus on building muscle through noticing effort and strengths.

The Lifelong Task

Marjie reminds us that growth happens throughout our life journey, not a task to be finished. Paige encourages us to stop obsessing over our children's "life tasks" and instead modeling what it means to be a caring, resilient adult.

Ready to steady the ship? If you've spent too long exhausted by the daily tug-of-war, this conversation is an invitation to drop the rope. Tune in to discover how to stop reacting to the storms and start steering with more intention. You'll walk away with more than just tips—you'll gain the tools to build a family culture where everyone feels seen, respected, and ready to navigate family life together.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Need advice on how to get started? We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Worth a listen: 018 Finding Strengths: The Essence of Encouragement

♥️ Quick reminder about what Encouragement is (and isn't) Ode to Encouragement

🧰Pick up a Family Meeting Toolkit if you don't already have one!

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

022: Why Family Meetings Matter

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Do you ever feel like you're too busy to deal with family problems? Or that when you do try to talk, everyone gets too upset?

Welcome to the first episode of our new series, where we introduce the Circle In Family Meeting ToolKit. It's a simple, weekly 20-minute meeting that helps you solve problems, create connections, and plan fun activities with the people you love.

We'll share how this timeless method, backed by decades of practice, can help you and your family. Family meetings aren't about lecturing or criticism—they're about slowing down to build skills like respect and appreciation, so your family can speed up and thrive.

Research shows:

Habits like a weekly Family Meeting strengthen children's brains and teach essential life skills.
A reliable, dependable routine for connection and problem-solving calms the nervous system.
Weekly family meetings build belonging, reduce sibling conflict, and prove to children their voices matter.

Join us and learn how to create a whole new kind of family dynamic, one filled with collaboration and joy.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Have you tried a family meeting? We'd love to hear your experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly! What questions come up for you? Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Need a refresher on strengths? Listen to Episode 018 Finding Strengths: The Essence of Encouragement

♥️ Marjie shares a personal story about Family Meeting

💻 Read Paige's blog about sharing family work.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

007: Raising Resilient Kids: the Power of Family Meetings, Part 2: Problem Solving

Family Leadership Center — Thu, 27 Feb 2025 16:10:00 GMT

In this episode, Marjie Longshore with her daughter, Louisa, explore how problem solving works in a family meeting. Problem Solving in Family Meeting is a practical way to help build a family life that is friendly, fun, and collaborative.

Together, they talk through a strategy to help everyone in a family unit strengthen their problem solving muscles.

This problem solving method is a form of collective surfacing–a practice that enables a group to let go of the form that isn't working while holding tightly to the principles and values of the community.
Instead of problems in the family resting on one person's shoulders to carry and solve, this process sees the whole family as capable of contributing to the whole. Each person is empowered to lighten the load by turning challenges into opportunities to grow closer, more connected, and enjoy each other's creativity and light!

A strong community does not avoid conflict. In fact, conflict can actually be the catalyst to grow more connected and empowered together. This tool sets you up to deal with challenges–large and small–to convert them into opportunities where everyone grows more encouraged and stronger together.

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Executive Director of Family Leadership Center

Louisa Longshore, Special Guest and Family Meeting Expert

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter and podcast collaborators Paige Trevor and Wendy Tracy.

Donate

🎁🎁 Double Your Gift: Matching Grant Through

Resources

Raising Kids Who Can by Betty Lou Bettner and Amy Lew: available for purchase through Family Leadership Center

FLC Blog Family Meeting / Encouragement Council

More examples of Encouragement Questions

FLC Blog Simple Ways You Can Be Encouraging Every Day

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Balancing Act's newsletter

006: Raising Resilient Kids: the Power of Family Meetings, Part 1

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 17 Jan 2025 10:00:00 GMT

What if you could feel more connected to your kids and see more cooperation in your household in under 20 minutes a week? It's possible through the power of Family Meetings! Create a weekly routine that is a one stop shop to foster and practice the 4Cs (connect, capable, count, courage). Family Meetings work when they're focused on encouragement, active listening and shared problem solving. In this episode, we break it down so you feel confident and motivated to start growing a more resilient, encouraged family this week!

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Executive Director of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Certified Parent Educator and Coach at Balancing Act

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Family Leadership Center Coaching Packages (includes family meeting support + set up

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Raising Kids Who Can by Betty Lou Bettner and Amy Lew: available for purchase through Family Leadership Center

FLC Blog Family Meeting / Encouragement Council

More examples of Encouragement Questions

FLC Blog Simple Ways You Can Be Encouraging Every Day

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003: Navigating Parenting and Screen Time: How to Create a Healthy Digital Environment

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 15 Nov 2024 10:00:00 GMT

In this episode we've dared to wade into the murky depths of technology. Instead of being stuck or victimized by devices, we show you powerful ways to flip the script, get closer to your kids, and improve relationships. Rather than focusing on limits or taking devices away as punishment, consider what you might add in: a homemade pizza, a round of pickleball, or a quick game of cards. We talk about shifting focus from what is wrong to what is right. Technology is a defining topic for this generation of parents; today's episode provides a fresh perspective and small, doable suggestions to continue raising children who are capable and courageous.

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Executive Director of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Certified Parent Educator and Coach at Balancing Act

Resources

🤝Creating a Screen Use Agreement

📵Freebie on Screens and Teens

📰These 'Luddite' Teens Are Abstaining From Social Media - The New York Times

⭕ Blog Mentioned: Circle Up - The Pioneer Spirit

4️⃣Crucial Cs

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005: The Present of Your Presence: 1-on-1 Time with Your Child Boosts Confidence and Trust

Family Leadership Center — Fri, 13 Dec 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Step into the magical art of spending one-on-one time with your children in this episode. Learn how just a few minutes a week can increase cooperation, reduce unwanted behavior, and remind you how much you like and enjoy your child. Tune in for practical advice on carving out these special moments and create lasting memories, even in the busiest of schedules.

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Executive Director of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Certified Parent Educator and Coach at Balancing Act

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🎁🎁 Double Your Gift: Matching Grant Through December 31, 2024

Resources
💞Blog: Holiday Harmony, Part 1: The Gift of Your Time

⚖️ Blog: Raising Citizens with the 4C's

⏰ Special Time can SAVE you Time: Blog: Time Management Strategies for Busy Parents

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002: Chores Without Wars: Encouraging Responsibility and Cooperation in Kids

Family Leadership Center — Sat, 19 Oct 2024 09:00:00 GMT

In this episode, we're diving into one of the biggest sources of frustration for parents—getting kids to do their chores. From daily responsibilities to teaching life skills, we'll discuss the importance of chores. We'll use the Family Leadership Center's signature 4C's to not only get household chores done, but to really help our kids grow into capable, contributing, compassionate and courageous adults. What's not to love?!

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Executive Director of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Certified Parent Educator and Coach at Balancing Act

Resources

In this episode, Marjie mentions an article from The New Times, entitled "12 Teenagers on What Adults Don't Get About Their Lives." This article explores the challenges teens face and the fact that teens want their lives to turn out well, they want to be capable! When we give them chores, we're giving them the possibility to grow their responsibility muscles and have what it takes to be successful in their futures. You can find a link to the article here.

Research on Benefits of Chores

Comprehensive Chore List by age

8 Surprising Psychological Benefits of Routine Daily Tasks

Family Leadership Center Blog

Balancing Act Blog: Chores Without Wars

011: The Power of Noticing + Shining a Light on Strengths: How Positive Attention Builds Cooperation

Family Leadership Center — Mon, 28 Apr 2025 15:57:00 GMT

In today's episode, we dive into the transformative power of focusing on the positive actions our kids take, rather than always highlighting what they get wrong. Parenting can often feel like an endless cycle of correction, but what happens when we start noticing and celebrating the good? From the small gestures of kindness to big moments of growth, we explore how highlighting what's right can improve your relationship with your children, boost their self-esteem, and foster a more supportive family environment.

Join the Conversation: We'd love to hear how you practice noticing what's right in your family. Share your thoughts on social media Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts. Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week.

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Balancing Act

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

📋Learn more and get on the waitlist for our upcoming Family Meeting Challenge

🔍Check out Episode 009 for a refresher on Problem Identification

⁉️Want help to ID the problem and determine who owns it? Send an email to: questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Circle In: The Family Leadership Center Podcast

026: Family Calendar: The Secret to More Connection and Less Chaos

001: Peace Begins at Home

012: Breaking Mom Myths: The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself

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025: Family Meeting: The Art & Magic of Encouragement Questions

004: Parenting Hacks: 10 Ways to Foster Cooperation Through Chores

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031: Unlocking Cooperation and Confidence: The 4 Crucial Cs

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009: Family Harmony Starts with Problem Identification: Here's How

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010: Whose Problem is it Anyway? Understanding Problem Ownership

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018: Finding Strengths: The Essence of Encouragement

034: What's Your Style? Parenting on Purpose

033: Out of the Nest: Reverse-Engineer Your Parenting

032: The Family Play: Designing a Stage Where Everyone Can Shine

030: 5 Guidelines For Your Parenting Journey

016: The Hidden Truth About Power Struggles (It's Not About Control)

028: Beyond the Noise: A Practical Framework for Every Parenting Moment

020: Creating Routines, Especially When There is No Time

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017: From Bored to Brilliant

008: Skills for Life: The Power of Family Meetings Revealed: Interview with Alyson Schafer

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019: Bedtime Battles & Beyond: Finding Your Parenting Power

024: Family Meeting Anchor Skills: Share Appreciations and Plan Family Fun

023: The Secret Ingredients to Your First Family Meeting: What, When, Where, and Who!

027: Family Matters - The Practice of Problem Solving

014: The Resilience Recipe: The 4 Crucial Cs for Thriving Kids

013: Listen Up, Parents! Transform Your Child's Behavior by Hearing What They Really Mean

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015: From Screen Stress to Family Harmony: Simple Strategies to Tame Technology

021: Less Drama, More Love: The Key to Peaceful Parenting

029: The Parenting Voyage

022: Why Family Meetings Matter

007: Raising Resilient Kids: the Power of Family Meetings, Part 2: Problem Solving

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006: Raising Resilient Kids: the Power of Family Meetings, Part 1

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003: Navigating Parenting and Screen Time: How to Create a Healthy Digital Environment

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Double Your Money!

005: The Present of Your Presence: 1-on-1 Time with Your Child Boosts Confidence and Trust

Resources💞Blog: Holiday Harmony, Part 1: The Gift of Your Time

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002: Chores Without Wars: Encouraging Responsibility and Cooperation in Kids

011: The Power of Noticing + Shining a Light on Strengths: How Positive Attention Builds Cooperation

Hosts

Resources

Stay Connected

Resources
💞Blog: Holiday Harmony, Part 1: The Gift of Your Time